Enough is definitely ENOUGH for me at this point

[reallyME]

For whatever reason, Laura's skin ain't so THICK as many of you seem to think!  I WILL get angry when someone blames me for pointing out the TRUTH about my husband's lack of teeth, narcissism (which WAS DIAGNOSED by the way), my daughters N habits which are even clear to her own friends and former church people.

I WILL be angry when someone who does not know me, decides to pick a fight with me over things she has no clue about, when she probably has more issues than I do.

THIS right here is why I did NOT go into the Psychology field.  I'm not going to sit in a chair and have someone PAY me to let them abuse me.  Even billions of dollars are not worth being a borderline's scapegoat or a narcissist's supply source of the week.

The people on this list who flip flop from friend to enemy, I think I will choose to not talk to anymore.  When you don't see me posting, you will know that you were one of em.  Do I seek people to give me favor? HECK YEAH! Who honestly doesn't look for like-minded peers?  If you say you don't, go move to Iraq where your life is constantly in danger because people don't like something about you...you would quickly hunger to be back with people who "have your back" and whom you can trust.

 I have given the truth since I got to this board back what...2 years ago?  If you doubt it, come visit me.  I'll give my address.

This has all gone way too far...people's N and BPD and other disorders are showing through at me loud and clear...it may be time for me to take action.

~Laura

[Leah]

Dear Laura,

Your defensive posting does not upset me in the slightest, and should my name be entered onto your list of those with whom you will not be posting in the future, then, so be it.  For that is your freedom of choice.

As for moving to a country of war and living under fire, that is one of my own past life experiences, of which, I would never ever suggest to anyone, as a voice of defense.

Ever mindful of those who have lost someone dear to them in times of war and troubles.

This has all gone way too far...people's N and BPD and other disorders are showing through at me loud and clear...it may be time for me to take action.

~Laura

Finally, I would never entertain the idea of sending out a message of untrained unqualified diagnosis that there are people on the board who may have a personality disorder.  As you have done in this thread post, and as you have been part of, previously, in a gathering in an agreement to a cause, of which, I know not the reason why. 

The result of which, caused those with anxiety, much distress.

All of which does not bode well, for you, as a person, in truth, quite the opposite.

Wondering, now, if this is your experience on all the other Chat Forums, of which, you have shared your angst.

Standing back from ones emotions is best way to be, with humility, if possible.

Believe me, from my own personal life experience to date, I know the difference.  Falling off a high horse hurts.

May the Lord whom we both love and serve, guide you, with His peace, wisdom and understanding.  He is my only source of refuge.

Love, Leah

[Certain Hope]

The people on this list who flip flop from friend to enemy, I think I will choose to not talk to anymore.  When you don't see me posting, you will know that you were one of em.  Do I seek people to give me favor? HECK YEAH!
~Laura

Laura,

Something for you to hold in mind as you determine who is friend and who is enemy, by your own definition:

Pro 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.  

And something else, Laura, without anger or upset of any kind, I tell you (and this is not my own personal opinion, but a verifiable fact) -
you are not qualified to be judging anyone here on this board with personality disorders of any kind.

With love,
Carolyn

[Bella_French]

Its a perfect quote Certain Hope.

Laura, The way I see recovery, for all of us, is peeling back our layers of denial, and facing our reality; a painful and difficult process at best! I have studied Tibetan buddist texts in depth, and did you know that they believe that this process can kill a person, by way of the pain involved? Not all minds can be enlightened, and obviously everyone has their own pace. Its because peeling away the lies hurts; each layer has a different amount of pain attached to it.

Astute people can pick a person skirting the edges of some aspect of their  denial . There is a certain flavor to denial :

- Angry, defensive responses.

-Trying to cover up the truth when it leaks out (deleting one's own posts when they start to get too close to truth, deleting other people's posts when their words get too close )

- No or little personal sense of personal accountability, blaming others for every negative situation

- The negative situations escalate

- Abandoning  communities and friends who have kept track of your past.

Laura, i see a LOT of people saying you are in denial, which is not a character assassination, but a statement about where you are at.

I think you are liked, and respected in many ways Laura, by most members here. They want to see you accept some personal accountability for whats happening your life, because the situation is becoming emotionally and physically violent.

Thats my take on it anyway! And i'm sorry that you are hurting right now, love.

X bella









 





-

[alone48]

Laura,

I hope that I have done nothing to offend you and am not on your list, but if so I apologize and wish you well. I'm sorry for the pain you seem to be going through and only hope things get better for you.

[whymeagain]

OUCHIE!

I probably shouldn't add my 2 cents to this situation, beings that I haven't been here long. This is a bit scary, I don't know anyone here, but I was under the assumption that this was a place, that each of us helped one another find our way through all our own hurt, anger and for whatever reason I thought we were to help one another as well really face our own insecurities and those things that have held us back from a life that is enriched and meaningful. I know for myself, there are many things that I am having to face straight on. These are not things that I can put on the backs of someone else, but is it possible, it is my own reactions and choices that have kept me a door mat all of my life, and an ostrich during other times! I don't want to spend my days blaming others for my own choices, I want to learn how to respond differently. Is that wrong? Is that apart of my own PROBLEM??????? I don't know really, I know that I have to face that so many times in my life, I have allowed the words and thoughts of others to affect and deter me from really doing what I wanted to do, or say what I wanted to say. Is that the wrong way to gaze into this? I understand, that I cannot take on all the blame and allow others opinions and feelings to dictate my life. In saying that, I am trying to convey to anyone that I actually proceed in that manner! If I did, I sure as heck wouldn't be here trying to navigate my way through truth and fiction in my own mind. I am not positive in the direction I am really going with this post, but I can be assured that it is a step towards something. I don't know where these words will take me, but I anticipate that it will be to a good plateau.

Are we supposed to be working through our own inabilities, false pretenses, and problematic responses? Or are we here to dissect and evaluate what others have done to us? I guess I just am not real positive, due to some of this post and others, it leaves me confused. I hope that I have not offended anyone, by the words that I have thrown out here. That is certainly not my intentions. I appreciate each of you that have shared your lives thus far

[Overcomer]

Yes,this is definitely a place to learn and help each other.  Unfortunately we occasionally have some blow ups.  People get mad, etc.  It just happens.  You will start to know who you get along with and who you would just rather stay away from.  Actually, there is no one here I do not like.  Some have different perspectives, but that is their choice.  Some are more sensitive then others.

Oh, well, try to stay away from conflict and be sure to ask Qs and give impressions..

With love, Kelly

[Certain Hope]

Dear Lupine,

You mention that this has been in the works for several years. I've had some stuff like that... and as it sat and brewed, over time, it would seem to take on a life of its own. I've also been very afraid... terrified, in fact... especially of conflict.

I don't know where this particular conflict is going or whether anything will be resolved from it... but I wondered, are you afraid now? You've made so few posts over time... has this particular issue been like a "stopper" in your perceived ability to communicate here on the board? Ok, that was ambiguous... I will try to be more direct. Do you think that your feelings toward/about this poster (RM) have inhibited you from sharing here on the VESMB?

That, I could understand... and if that is indeed the case, maybe it's something that we could all discuss apart from this particular altercation?

Thanks.

With love,
Carolyn

P.S. on edit... I feel like I've been where you are, Lupine... the difference is, I just held onto most of it, didn't talk about it, and made myself sick. So I do not think I'm any better than you because I held most of it in (most, not all). I did not take the high road by investing my time working on my own issues rather than to confront an issue in someone else. I simply sulked and withdrew and stewed, for the most part.
I just want to make that clear because the only reason I wrote to you here is to try to understand you and maybe find some common ground.
That's all.

[Ami]

 Lupine, why not consider your own issues?  You( and everyone,IMO) would be better served.   Ami                                 

[Certain Hope]

Carolyn...

You are very wise.  And thank you.  No.  I am not afraid.  I am perhaps too direct?     Which is not necessarily a virtue.  I would have lost in New Hampshire.

You're welcome, Lupine. I have always struggled with being direct (when I found the guts to speak up at all), but I'm learning.

 I do believe that direct, honest communication is virtuous... after all, Jesus called the Pharisees "vipers" and "whitewashed sepulchres".
He wasn't very politically correct, either... but He did speak the truth in love. It just wasn't this world's version of love... it wasn't the sort that tends to sweep unpleasantness and difficult concerns under the rug rather than shine the light of truth on the mess.
I want to love the way Jesus did, even though I know that means often being misunderstood.
He told them how it was so that they'd have a chance to recognize their need.
Sadly, some choose to remain blind.

Thanks for responding, Lupine.

I'm glad you're not afraid... but I'd still like to understand better what you're about here.


With love,
Carolyn

[Leah]

I do believe that direct, honest communication is virtuous... after all, Jesus called the Pharisees "vipers" and "whitewashed sepulchres".

He wasn't very politically correct, either... but He did speak the truth in love. It just wasn't this world's version of love... it wasn't the sort that tends to sweep unpleasantness and difficult concerns under the rug rather than shine the light of truth on the mess.

I want to love the way Jesus did, even though I know that means often being misunderstood.

He told them how it was so that they'd have a chance to recognize their need.

Sadly, some choose to remain blind.

((( Carolyn )))

Bravo!  He is my refuge and my light along the way, lest I stumble and fall.  Whenever I do fall, He picks me up, from my knees.

Love & Blessings,

Leah