Dear Axa,
As I let go of 'false pain"(my M), I can see "real " pain,if that makes sense. IOW, I am seeing the pain of the human condition, not just my OWN NM pain.
Saturday, when I was in the worship service, I felt my own aloneness. I realized that I tried to keep myself "not alone" by keeping my M close(in my mind).
She was never really there,but she was ,in the sense, that she was in my thoughts ALL the time. As she leaves, I see that we, as humans, always feel alone and that we yearn to fill the aloneness. Maybe, we never can. There are so many sad things about life.Maybe, this is one of them.
Axa, I think that you may be feeling life angst,right now.
I think that lfe angst is a step up for me b/c I was so tied in to my M that I only felt angst from her,not from reality. I hope that makes sense. Maybe it just does to me(lol) Love Ami