Hops update

[Leah]

Dear (((((((((( Hops )))))))))))))

Can't be there to offer a helping hand, which I would do, freely.

please know that you are in my thoughts, and also, my prayers.

Love, Leah

[Hopalong]

Hi Write, thank you.
I kept it together while he was here and got my protections in place.
But those were legal.

I realized today that his bullying triggered a PTSD-like reaction, 2 days after he left.
Today I started shaking and had episodes of trembling for an hour.

I just told myself, you're okay, you're letting out all that fear you had to suppress while he was here.

I am okay now though still a little shaky.
PTSD from bullying 50 years ago? Jeez.

love,
Hops

[Gaining Strength]

My D's called regularly

That is sogood to hear.

What's most worrying to me is what will happen when the 100 days of Medicare run out. Her only real asset is the house, and we'd have to tap the equity to pay for continuing care, so there may not be much house left.

I'm sorry Hops.  That is an enormous pressure.  Does she have any supplementary insurance that would help with long term care?  I suspect you would have said so.  I will just hope that she gets better by day 99. 

[write]

I realized today that his bullying triggered a PTSD-like reaction, 2 days after he left.
Today I started shaking and had episodes of trembling for an hour.

I just told myself, you're okay, you're letting out all that fear you had to suppress while he was here.

I am okay now though still a little shaky.
PTSD from bullying 50 years ago? Jeez.

no, this is the big decision about if a NPD person can stay in your life or not- can you cope with the constant re-traumatising.
That's where I'm at with ex today, although I started the day full of energy his involvement in it quickly left me feeling drained and wanting to comfort-eat and sleep and surf the net instead of getting my work done ( some of which I can't do anyway since he broke the computer )
I'm coming to 'decision time' myself...

Don't worry about anything more than one day at a time- try getting some of the stuff organised which has been upset the past few weeks but don't worry about what you can't do Hops- if the money runs out it does and another solution will be found.

Are you being visited by the care team at your church? You need extra support in 3 D I think, especially if it means dealing with brother's upsetting behaviour.

Love
~Write

[Hopalong]

sage advice, Write...
I've just rested today.
Got an email from the minister.

But right around his visit I had 3 church friends really step up for me.
And today got an email from the minister.

I could use a few more phone calls from friends, but since generally I'm not much of a phone pal,
that's not the pattern.

I know I can reach out. Tonight I'm just chilling, tomorrow I pick up the order campaign again.

I needed a rest.

xo
Hops

[seasons]

I realized today that his bullying triggered a PTSD-like reaction, 2 days after he left.
Today I started shaking and had episodes of trembling for an hour.

I just told myself, you're okay, you're letting out all that fear you had to suppress while he was here.I am okay now though still a little shaky.
PTSD from bullying 50 years ago? Jeez.

love,
Hops

Hugs Hops.

He is gone
You are safe
Rest and take extra care of those old wounds.  love seasons

[Hopalong]

Hi Carolyn, Leah, GS...

I skipped right over thanking you. (And noticed in my posts I've been a little addled, repeating stuff, etc.)

And Seasons,
Thank you too.

I'm better tonight. Bit some fingernails off. But no more shakies.

It's all just so weird. Skipped visiting Mom tonight and that helped.

Tomorrow I'll try to see her in the a.m. before work instead of after...that's the hardest time to go.

love to all of you,
Hops

[cats paw]

Hops,

  Just stopping in to say hello -

Cat

[Certain Hope]

(((((((Hops))))))) No concerns here about you repeating yourself or missing a posting... it's only good to read you and try to keep up-to-speed with your happenings. Thinking of you often, here... with love.

Carolyn

[write]

I needed a rest.

remember that line in 'Desiderata':

many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness...

It's exhausting being a carer, be a self-carer too.

Love
~W

[Leah]

Dear ((((((( Hops )))))))

Thank you for being, thoughtful,
even in the midst of so much at hand.

Thinking of you, hoping for brighter days.

Love to you,

Leah x

[Hopalong]

Thanks ((((Write)))))
Thanks ((((Leah)))))

And GS...I bought me a big ol' bag of Epsom Salts! 

love to all,
Hops

[axa]

Hi Hops,

Been off line for a while, apologies for not getting here sooner.  Boy was I so glad to hear about your daughter.......good, good news.  And that brother oh boy....... maybe this is the universe testing those boundaries of yours.  I am so sorry about the mess at your house, glad you are having a break from caring for your Mom and hope your spirits are a little refreshed.  Put the worry about medicare on hold for a few days, if you can.  Take the best possible care of precious you Hops,  Wish I was there to spend some time with you.

sending hugs and love,

Axa

[Bella_French]

I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you too Hops. I'm sorry for all the stress you've been through lately. Your brother would drive me insane.

love and hugs

X bella

[Gaining Strength]

Soak, soak, soak Hops!!!