Hops update

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
 I am very sorry for the pain and stress you are experiencing. I use epsolm salts and have been having a beer at night. I may stop the beer ,now,but it really did help for the past few nights.
 Hops, I am sending you peace and love.                 Ami

[Certain Hope]

Just checking in, dear Hops... in midst of a white-out here, with visions of snow-dogs whisking by the window periodically... lol... and one snow-boy. Wanna come make angels? Sounds like a good cookie-baking day, too.... traditional buttery chocolate chip with walnuts optional? Fire is sparkling joyfully. Crumpled colored catalog pages make for lovely shades of blue and green in the flames. ((((((((((Hops))))))))))) wish you were here.

Love,
Carolyn

[Hopalong]

Oh guys 

Thank you for asking.

I am feeling overwhelmed. I'm math-phobic in the first place and since my brother's attack, I am more anxious than ever about managing both my accounts and my mother's and we're stretched to the limit. Well, over-limit.

I've just appealed to a woman in my Covenant Group for an afternoon's help. Hope and pray she says yes. She knows what she's doing, has done accounting workshops, etc.

Hopefully I soon will have a budget that I grasp and can stay on top of.

Fingers and toes crossed and btw, Carolyn, I feel like your armchair by the fire is heaven on earth. Thanks for the invite, I'm there in spirit.

love to all,
Hops

[Certain Hope]

(((((((Hops)))))))  it'll be alright. Really, it will. Please be sure to remember all that you've already accomplished re: putting accounting stuff into order. The stress is being manufactured by the acute awareness of N's who just cannot seem to wait to catch ya in a mistake. It's an artificial lifeform of its own, Hops. You can squash it.

I don't know whether income tax preparation would bring you any financial relief (in the form of potential refund) but just this morning, in the world record time  (and for the first time ever) I used turbotax.com to process and efile our returns. Not trying to add to your to-do list, dear Hops... only thinking that news of a refund might help you to feel on more solid footing.

So much love to you,
Carolyn

[Hopalong]

Yes, I'm going to do Turbo-Tax (or some other...at my income I qualify for Freefile on irs.gov). That's a good task for the weekend and you're right, it would cheer me up to get a refund!

Meanwhile, I'm shuffling things around and I know it will be okay.

I really am tempted to have deadbolt locks put on the doors of my 2 rooms. Of course nothing would stop my brother if he wanted to remove the doors when he's here, but I'm tempted.

I think the best path is once again to carry files and laptop to my friend's house and just leave them there as long as he's here. Pisses me off, frankly.

sorry.

Hops

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
 It seems like you simply have to do that with the files, as I see it. I am sorry for the pain ,in the situation,Hops.    Love   Ami

[Certain Hope]

((((((((Hops))))))))) ticks me off, too... for you... to have to utilize stealth mode within your own home.

I think it should be like with divorced parents who get visitation... he should not necessarily have free access to anything or anyone there.

Love,
Carolyn

[Leah]

(((((((( Hops )))))))))

Thoughts of you, hoping,
for better, brighter days, ahead.

Sincerely,

Love, Leah

[Sela]

((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))

Imagine white light and angels all around to keep you calm and safe.

Maybe angels armed with golden straws, carrying bottomless pots of spit balls!! (to shoot at your brother, ofcourse).

Sending you another big, large, huge ((((((((((((((((((((((((Hug))))))))))))))))))))))) and keeping you firmly in my prayers.

This too shall pass.

Sela

[CB123]

Hops, 

Just popping in to say hello and tell you how much I care for you.  Saturdays are hard for you, I know, and I wanted to offer a cyber cup of coffee and a homemade cinnamon roll...wish I could really do that with you.

I like the deadbolt idea.  I don't know--I'm feeling a bit feisty these days, and I like the powerful image.  Sure he could take the hinges off (he could come in the window too!) but he can't mistake the fierce boundary-setting that a dead bolt illustrates.  I vote for the dead-bolt. 

I am hoping that this difficult time is a significant moment in your life where you finally conquer the paper monster.  Without this trauma, you have always been troubled by your sense of being inept in this area, and you deserve better.  Sometimes it is only a life changing, traumatic event that breaks lose a log-jam like this in our heads.  I want that for you so, in spite of everything, I can (sort of) tolerate your brother's N'ishness since it may make you stronger.

Love you Hops,

CB

[Hopalong]

Hi TT,
Thank you. I got a lot of sleep so I do feel better. A sunny Saturday is a good thing!
And yes, you do know how to name the unnameable...your theme today!
I have thought, and wished, for both her sake and my own, that Mom could let her body go.
But...it's not for me to say and unlikely to happen soon. She's got the constitution of a Clydesdale.
There's nothing legal I can do to preserve the house, since she never put my name on the deed. It's still her main asset, so if I bring her home after the 100 days and must hire private nurses, we'll burn through her savings in a few months and then it will be time to tap the equity. One thing I've learned from this is that I will put my D's name on the deed if I ever own anything, this house or a townhouse or whatever. That way if something happens to me she won't have this particular uncertainty. But there's no point scaring myself. Meanwhile I can live abstemiously and try to find ways of earning extra $$.
Thanks for your sensitivity, TT. I sense she's retreating into memory, and that's a mercy for her.

CB,
I'm deciding against the deadbolts because I think they'll up the ante, and if the important files are elsewhere, there's not a lot of point. The other reason is they'd look pretty weird on bedroom doors if I have to sell the house and I don't want to pay for their installation. But I may do an internet search for some low-tech ways to find out whether he's entered my spaces...sounds silly since it won't matter after the fact, but I could have some fun playing junior detective. I hope to not think about him much at all, since I'll be with my daughter in sunny Florida next time he comes.

Eager to hear your restaurant updates...I know it'll be a huge success with you at the helm. What an amazing journey you've had in the last year. Are things resolved yet with El Creepo? Splat. Squish. Swat.

love to all,
Hops