Do people with sturdy boundaries....

[Hermes]

Hello TT:

No, I do not live in Granada.  I studied there, many many years ago.  At the moment I am in Ireland.  Spain is only a couple of hours by air from here.  Here in Europe, people from different European countries live in each other's countries, and the cultural differences are not very vast.  Customs may different, some traditions, but basically people are people. 
Different languages, yes, but we get around that.  LOL. 

No, no cross culture, although NPD is NPD, the mental disorder, regardless of where the individual is from. 

Best wishes
Hermes

[teartracks]

Hi Hermes,

Yes, I'm aware that Europeans travel conveniently between the countries much the same as we in the US travel freely between states.  In my limited travels abroad, I have been keenly aware of what I thought were cultural differences, but then maybe I'm a highly curious soul or perhaps as you say it's more the customs, traditions and languages, not cultural.

I expect that as you say NPD is NPD regardless of geography.  Even so, adapting  strategies to include differences in  customs, traditions, cultural differences  would  be very N - efficient!   


tt

PS  I would love to hear your 'story'...
 


 

[Hermes]

Hello again Teartracks:

I have put up a few posts on a couple of other threads, with bits and pieces of my "story".  Generally, speaking, I prefer not to go back there at all.  To quote someone else, quite some time ago, " don't look back, because the view sure ain't pretty".  The NPD experience is a dismal one, and it is best, and the healthiest thing,  to move on and up.  I can say how I clawed my way back to "myself" after the N-trauma, and the after is the part that really counts.  It took vast effort, some very bad moments, moments of fright and panic, hard work, but there is nothing to beat the relief. 

I think there is a slight difference between us and the U.S.A. in that English rules in all your states, whereas each country here has a different language.  What I am saying is that while customs and traditions may vary, people everywhere are essentially much the same, you get good, bad and indifferent everywhere.  I have lived in different places, the greater part of my life in Spain, and also some time in France, and that is my experience.
My friends come from a variety of countries: one is Belgian, another is French, one is Italian, one English girl, one Dutch, and when we gather for a coffee or a chat, it is a kind of U.N. LOL.

I frankly don't think NPDs even notice where they are, they are a kind of race unto themselves.

Hope you are having a good day.

All the best
Hermes
 

[axa]

Hermes,

I agree they are a "race" unto themselves.  I have tried to write about him but I am still sickened by the carefully manufactured  front he presented.  I spent a lot of time in shock at how he used his D as bait and now I am just disgusted.  I met Mr shy who was honest and faithfull with poor social skills but so committed to our "relationship".

I cannot write anymore............. to think of him right now makes me want to throw up.... seems like disgust has replaced anger, frustration, shame........... feels like progress.

axa

[Hermes]

Exactly, Axa, that is progress! 
Waste of time anyhow writing about what amounts to a "lost cause", i.e. the N.  Have you ever noticed also how utterly boring they are!?
It is good to think about you, write about you, talk about you. 

All the best
Hermes

[axa]

Hermes,

Boring is not the word for it......... I recall telling him being with him was a mixture of mind numbing boredom and high level dramarama - always about him.
It was not possible to have a conversation - it was a series of statements and if I dared contradict well I am sure you know the consequences of that. 

I think you were lucky that you had a supportive and loving family unfortunately I did not have that.  My confidence was shot and self esteem hit an undescribible low.  It was like crawling out of the slime but thankfully I found the reserves within me to pick myself up.  I still struggle with the madness but work hard at staying grounded.  I agree the recovery has been a combination of exercise, therapy, work........... looking forward to the day when the nightmare seems very very far away in the dim and distant past.

axa

[Hermes]

It will, Axa, it will. 

I came from a loving and supportive FOO, but at the time of the N-trauma and blow-up, my Dad had died years previously, my Mother was not in the best of health (I never ever told her what had happened).  However, I had good sensible friends too, and what patience they all had, listening to me!!!

Looking back, it is just the strange sensation that it did not happen. 

All the best
Hermes