How do you feel after a "shock"?

[Ami]

 I need to talk about my life(my day).Do you get bone weary after "shock"?  I feel like I can't do anything----drive, even hardly walk.
 I feel too weak to function.I feel like I did after I had a C--section.
 If I do anything, I get exhausted.I  am trying to overcome deeper issues and trying to go forward by getting out more and being with people more.Maybe,I should just stay in and recover and not push on the deeper issues ,right now. My own thinking is not too swift  ,now. There is so much wisdom ,on the board. 
 Is this "normal" after a "shock"? How long does it last. Do you get stronger ,physically, slowly?I used to be able to exercise and have good energy. Now, I can barely do anything.
  Sorry, if I have already asked this question,which I may have. Thanks for any advice. I really appreciate your responses.                Ami

[Hermes]

Dear Ami:

I understand Ami, and I feel for you.   You are of course bone weary after the shock and trauma you are suffering.  It is normal to feel like that.  You are exhausted, and I would think that perhaps lots of sleep, being good to yourself and not pushing too hard would be best at the moment.  You need to recoup physically, and just take the next day (indeed the next few hours), at a time.  One day at a time. 

I cannot tell you how long it will last, Ami.  But yes, you will get stronger physically, slowly.  Do please seek help there, among the people you know, and if you think it a good idea, maybe some professional help.  Perhaps see a doctor for your extreme exhaustion, to help you along the way. 


Take care, and I hope you have a restful evening.
Hermes

[Leah]

Dear ((((( Ami )))))

Be kind to yourself.

You are exhausted from shock, and the stress of the shock.

Gentle walks, fresh air, and rest,
would be more than enough for your body to cope with,
I would think, from personal experience of shock.

There is a right time for everything, it seems,
maybe, just now, is not quite the right time, maybe,
for the hard work of digging; the deep issues.

Our body really does seem to know just how much we can cope with.

The feeling of Fatigue, is usual, with the stress of shock.

May God give you his comfort, and rest.

Love to you,

Leah

[Overcomer]

Am-I think you need to lay around and sleep and eat and veg.  I would not even put on make up.  I would give yourself some time to recuperate.

[Lupita]

Just the fact  that you are here writing is a myracle. You are much stronger than you think. I have no idea how you have been able to survive this. It is amazing. I think you need to rest. Would you consider the possibility to ask your doctor for medication to sleep?
How is your other son?
You are in my prayers everyday.

[seasons]

(((Ami)))

I echo everyones love and support for you.

Take special care of you, (((Ami))).         With thoughts of peace for you. seasons

[Ami]

Dear Leah, Kelly, Hermes, Izzy, Seasons  and Lupita,
 Thanks so much for responding. The scary thing is that I feel worse ,physically, as the denial(shock) wears off.
  What is so hard for us(as N"survivors) is taking care of ourselves and believing that we are WORTH  caring for. So, when you give me your responses about just "rest and recuperate", it is like "permission"*which I should not  need ,but do----bleh.
  Izzy, I would love to write about Scott.  I felt a little embarrassed to do it,but now that you have given me "permission", I will.
  The bite of this whole thing is ALREADY being a nut and then dealing with an overwhelming situation(lol).
  Once I  talk about it, it  brings the shame to the light. Shame thrives in the dark and dissipates in the light.
  You  have been such comforts to me. It is impossible to explain how much.
 When I went out today, I know that I looked really strange, at the Messianic Synagogue. I was sitting next to a guy I know, at lunch. I was not making much sense. He was looking at me, a little strangely. I said,'How would you like to take ME out on a date?"
 He laughed.
   The truth of a suicide settles in ,slowly. It is like 2 deaths ,in that you have all the 'whys" and "what could I have dones".
 I grew up with a M who worried about her body--physical problems. When I feel badly, I feel worried and afraid. It brings up FOO issues.
 If I can be honest about all this "embarrassing " stuff, I will get through it. Thanks for allowing me that-----and so graciously.
                                                 Love   Ami
 
 PS  I have not had any alcohol for 20 years. I was not an alcoholic ,but went with a friend to AA and loved it. I gave up drinking b/c I knew that I "could' get addicted to a substance, even though I was not.
 Last night, I had a few sips of my M's beer and it gave me such a peace. It took away the pain, fear and anger. It was a wonderful drug. My H has a pharmacy,upstairs,but I have never taken a drug.
  I just know that I crave the "peace" and b/c of knowing that, I never took any of the drugs.
  I am considering having a little beer in to help me sleep, but I probably won't. I need to develop 'internal" resources(prayer, etc) and not start depending on external ones. Any thoughts would be appreciated.   

[Gaining Strength]

Ami - part of what happens physiologically when you have a shocking experience is that your adrenal glands go into overdrive pumping out adrenaline - the basic flight or fight response.  When this has happened on an elevated level for weeks on end your entire body becomes completely depleted.  It has a spiraling effect in that the things that help you get over it are very, very difficult to do when you are stricken.  The things that help are eating nutritiously, taking vitamens and/or supplements, exercise and sleep.  Another helpful thing would be to take epsom salt baths.  Epsom salts have magnesium in them and the magnesium has a calming effect and helps restore the adrenal glands.  The epsom salt baths help with sleep as well.

What you are going through is so very common for people who have experienced traumatic experiences as you have.  You must take care of yourself.  You must get sleep and try your best to eat well. 

There is an exellent web site about adrenal fatigue.  I'm going to try to find it and post it.

My heart and thoughts are with you - GS

[Lupita]

Ami - part of what happens physiologically when you have a shocking experience is that your adrenal glands go into overdrive pumping out adrenaline - the basic flight or fight response.  When this has happened on an elevated level for weeks on end your entire body becomes completely depleted.  It has a spiraling effect in that the things that help you get over it are very, very difficult to do when you are stricken.  The things that help are eating nutritiously, taking vitamens and/or supplements, exercise and sleep.  Another helpful thing would be to take epsom salt baths.  Epsom salts have magnesium in them and the magnesium has a calming effect and helps restore the adrenal glands.  The epsom salt baths help with sleep as well.

What you are going through is so very common for people who have experienced traumatic experiences as you have.  You must take care of yourself.  You must get sleep and try your best to eat well. 

There is an exellent web site about adrenal fatigue.  I'm going to try to find it and post it.

My heart and thoughts are with you - GS

Te de manzanilla. I dont know the name in English, but is very relaxing.

Again, you need to rest. And please, please, do not forget your other son, he needs you. He lost his brother. He needs his mama.

Love to you.

[alone48]

Ami,

I know when I go through anything tough, I feel bone weary after I'm done and you have gone through the toughest thing anyone could ever dream of. Sleep, rest, don't do anything, have a beer, but by all means take care of you. I remember being so tired sometimes, actually emotionally drained, that I just wanted to sit down wherever I was and go to sleep. That wouldn't go over to great in the grocery store, but the feeling was so overwhelming that to this day I'm surprised I never did it. Thnink and praying for you

[Leah]

Dear (((( Ami ))))

GS has mentioned magnesium, and salt baths, which is absolutely superb, for Adrenal Fatigue, the fatigue that comes with shock, and the stress to the body, from shock.

I still enjoy a wonderful magnesium salt bath with rose petals, which is ever so soothing and relaxing.

Lupita has mentioned Chamomile Tea, which is excellent.

All I did was drink Herbal Teas, which soothed and calmed.  There is an excellent Herbal Tea, called 'Night Time', which was a wonderful natural herbal aid for restful sleep, along with, as you say, prayer, and meditation on the word, which fills you with real comfort, for rest.

Be kind to yourself, be still, and rest.

Love to you,

Leah


Walks in the fresh air helps to rest and sleep,
maybe your sweet little dog may enjoy being with you on a walk.

[Ami]

Ami - part of what happens physiologically when you have a shocking experience is that your adrenal glands go into overdrive pumping out adrenaline - the basic flight or fight response.  When this has happened on an elevated level for weeks on end your entire body becomes completely depleted.  It has a spiraling effect in that the things that help you get over it are very, very difficult to do when you are stricken.  The things that help are eating nutritiously, taking vitamens and/or supplements, exercise and sleep.  Another helpful thing would be to take epsom salt baths.  Epsom salts have magnesium in them and the magnesium has a calming effect and helps restore the adrenal glands.  The epsom salt baths help with sleep as well.

What you are going through is so very common for people who have experienced traumatic experiences as you have.  You must take care of yourself.  You must get sleep and try your best to eat well. 

There is an exellent web site about adrenal fatigue.  I'm going to try to find it and post it.

My heart and thoughts are with you - GS

Dear GS,
  Again ,you see the simple answers which elude me. I had this same type of exhaustion on a 3 week bus tour of the West, when I was in the worst state ,emotionally. We got to San Fransisco and I wanted to go shopping.I could barely move and you know that is bad with all those good stores(LOL)
 I feel exactly the same way ,now. It is adrenal fatigue. I have Maca( a root which gives endurance) and I will start taking it, today. I feel happy to know WHAT is wrong and it is exactly as you said, GS.
  What would I have done if you had not come back, GS.          Love, Ami

[Ami]

Te de manzanilla. I dont know the name in English, but is very relaxing.

Again, you need to rest. And please, please, do not forget your other son, he needs you. He lost his brother. He needs his mama.

Love to you.
[/quote]

Dear Lupita,
  I have tried to enlist some special people to help my older son--his GF and Maria's H.
 I found a counselor for all of us,too.
 I am trying to be available to him .My older son is honest about how he feels and he seems to be going forward with work and even dating.
  He has always been honest and I think that he tells me when he needs me. I KNOW he does(lol).
  We are keeping the lines of communication open.
  As long as my older son can be honest about his feelings, he should be able to go forward. I am alert to him and any cries for help.                          Ami
                                                             

[Ami]

Ami

I understand you can have a beer a day and it is good for you! Ask your doctor, as he knows your health record.

I had a shock once but am not sure if I was shocked.

I was 12 and I, with my 2 older sisters, was walking home from the school bus stop. It was winter so it was almost dark already. We heard a 'wailing' sound and couldn't figure out what it was. We were just past Mrs. P.'s country driveway so went back and followed the noise. She was sitting on the snow out back with her husband dead: his head on her lap and her crying was the wailing.

My eldest sister telephoned a neighbour and people came and the adults looked after the situation. What I remember is that one of them said to her, "You'd better get Izzy home. Her face is gray!" Well that was my shock.

I went home, did the chores, had dinner and went to the hockey game with my girl friend and her parents and forgot about Mrs P! (They were 'strangers' in the area, as they were living in sin. 1951)

I recall just feeling outside looking in while I was there, but okay when I got home.

I think I was already full of strength I didn't know I had.

How about you? Was your inner strength called upon when you were 12 and under?

Izzy

P.S.  Te de manzanilla is  Chamomile

Chamomile tea is great for relaxation

Dear Izzy,
  Thanks for sharing those memories.  People are telling me how strong I am,but I really don't know  what they are talking about. I have been in shock and not feeling the appropropriate feelings. People are mistaking that for strength,I think.
 I don't have a regular doctor,but I may have a few ounces of beer to sleep ,if I need it.
 It does take the edge of that sharp pain, which is hiding under the denial. I feel it trying to peek it's head out,but not being quite able to, at the moment.
  One thing is for sure. When I get my physical strength back, I am going to live, not just exist,as I have been doing. I know that I have things to give others. I saw that,at the funeral. I was so busy seeing my bad qualities that I missed the good ones. Now, I have even more to give(after I heal) b/c I am in a unique group of human beings----parents who have lost a child to suicide. When I feel better,physically, I am going to join a support group, call  friends , and generally, just "live" as I had NOT been doing before.
  I was keeping myself alone and isolated with shame. My parents gave me all that they could--on this trip AND in life, just as I gave Scott all that I could. I failed and they failed,in many ways,but that does NOT mean that I am worthless, which was the conclusion that I(and Scott) drew.
 There IS life to be lived. 
 Thank you Izzy for all the kind posts to me. It means so much.      Love    Ami

[Ami]

Ami,

I know when I go through anything tough, I feel bone weary after I'm done and you have gone through the toughest thing anyone could ever dream of. Sleep, rest, don't do anything, have a beer, but by all means take care of you. I remember being so tired sometimes, actually emotionally drained, that I just wanted to sit down wherever I was and go to sleep. That wouldn't go over to great in the grocery store, but the feeling was so overwhelming that to this day I'm surprised I never did it. Thnink and praying for you


Dear Alone,
  I know what you mean about being "regular places" like the store and just praying that you had the strength to get home. I am there ,now,but I have things to do to start to heal---in mind and body--Thanks to all of you. Thank you ,Alone, for your kind and supportive words.    Love   Ami