What are your thoughts on friendships with unimportant people; Do you think its possible, and if so, can they be healthy friendships, or most likely to be a `drain of you, your time and resources' type of situation? By unimportant, I only mean that in the figurative sense, as i believe all humans are equal. By `unimportant' I mean, a person with a much lower status than your own, holds an unimportant position career wise, and may indeed be poor even living below the poverty level.
I wonder if it's cultural to even ask that, because in england I had friends of all backgrounds, here I do too but my american friends think I'm strange for doing so.
I will say- it's hard to have friendships with people who have poor values, but the issues which have come up with uneducated friends or friends in poverty have either been easy to express my differing viewpoint ( on dropping litter was one time I remember ) or of my own making ( giving money to my friend )
I was a bit put out to help someone out with work a few weeks ago to find that when she got the opportunity to reciprocate she didn't; but frankly these are the things which relegate friendships to acquaintainces for me- happen a couple of times and I tend to back off.
My close friend it was my fault for getting over-involved with her family, even ex and son pointed it out, but I didn't want to listen. When she got opportunities to help me and didn't and when she got resentful when I ran out of money and couldn't help any more, I backed off. We're still friends but not as close.
In this case, i feel like a pest.
Actually, i feel exactly the same way I did when I've met actors on a film set- like I was good fill in conversationalist, until someone more worthy came along.
I couldn't say that he was an N, but perhaps he just regarded us a good audience at the time?
it's hard to say, but again I wonder- we have had so many instances of what we thought were connections in America then they turned out to be just conversations or outings or parties. I don't remember that many misunderstandings in England, but people aren't so outgoing there or friendly as polite- in fact politeness there can seem quite rude to Americans.
I think there is a criteria-list for relationships with some superficial people, and if you don't satisfy every item on their list or you're not totally 'for them' you're out!
Maybe he's busy, I tend to use email as correspondence but some of my friends see it as a nuisance. I've been told a few times I write too much, I can type and think very fast in writing, and sometimes when I am manic I get carried away too...
Anyway- sorry you felt rejected. Just enjoy the special-ness he brought to the holiday, to everything a season ( or a week if someone's really fickle! )
~W