Conflict and sadness

[Hermes]

""" Perhaps people with questions regarding Hermes alleged secrets could ask, rather than accuse?"" Lollie.
At least you are fair, Lollie, in saying that.

I was interrogated (like some kind of criminal) not so long after joining the board.  I was told I some kind of "shadowy" figure (I can assure everyone I am quite solid!).  Is everyone who comes on the board interrogated in that fashion?  I think not.  In any case, Dr. Grossman could have simply asked me to leave the board if he felt I was some kind of threat.  I wish to say here and now that if the majority here wish to approach Dr. Grossman to ask him to "erase" me from here, I shall abide by his decision, without further ado.

Yet, I answered the questions which were not put to me in a very nice way, and I gave some more personal details about myself (which I did not HAVE to do, but I did).  And about my N-experience/abuse, which is now snidely sneered at.
I actually feel bad now about telling anything personal about myself or my experiences, and maybe that is why I was reluctant to do so at the outset, until I could find out a bit more about this board and the people on it.  Well, I sure found out!!!

Yes, I do know about NPD (I wish I didn't, I wish I had never met such an individual, because then I would never have to even engage in a conversation about the disorder, or even read about it).  Some posters have thanked me for putting up links regarding NPD, or other comments.

I still think it is simply a matter of personal dislike, but there is nothing I can do about that. 

Hermes

[Bella_French]

I have nothing further to say on this matter, except to echo what Bella has kindly and supportively said in her posts.  I don't think Bella is so stupid as to support someone (me) if I am the sort of dreadful person the "pack" seem to think I am. 
The odd thing is that I am the one who was attacked, wholesale, for merely asking why a thread could be completely deleted by a member (and not by a moderator).  I only ASKED!!!!!  Look at my first post asking this question.  I was jumped on for DARING to question why a thread could be deleted.

However, I do not think that is the real reason for the attack on me.  Maybe you people just do not like me, and I did get that impression from let us say, week one.....

However you cannot attack someone, and not expect him/herself not to counter that attack. 

Hermes

Dear  Hermes, Well I like you, and why not? You're intelligent, you are respectful when we disagree (as we do sometimes), you can be funny and very witty. You are loyal, and say what you mean. I feel that you hear me when we converse. You are passionate about recovery from abuse, and stand up for your principles. The one character trait that seems to get people's backs up is you do not under any circumstances tolerate abuse and rudeness. You give what you get. And you are horrifically good at it. Perhaps there is the expectation around here that ` a little bit ' of abuse is ok, and people should just `understand' it or slip away? Self defense is not liked very much, but more, it is not *seen * as self defense, which is truly odd.

I can respect a person who won't put up with abuse in any form, and will not be bullied into submission by anyone. Its a different `way' to my own way of doing things. I'll probably always be an understanding, sappy sort , lol. I'm hoping that if stay away from N's, I'll survive, somehow, lol.

I wouldn't rush to any big conclusions regarding whether you are liked or not, seriously. Most members don't know you, so theres no way to judge. And an awful lot of members stay out of conflicts for their own safety and healing.

A, this whole thing makes me feel bad. noone should be put under this much scrutiny. Its very impolite.

Hugs to you!

X Bella