Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Coming face to face with my NMother
Michelle:
Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement. It really means alot. With each passing day, I am feeling stronger and stronger about the decision I made. I think I was just totally thrown for a loop when I was forced to talk with her. It was one of those horrible gut-wrenching moments that I don't want to ever have again.
Bunny - you are right about the guilt in my family. It is how the "game" has been played for all these years. I have had to "deprogram" myself from playing it with my own immediate family. I'm sorry to hear that your family played the guilt game too. It is crazy-making at its finest.
Seeker - you make me laugh and I've really needed it this week. Thanks. I loved the "professional SWAT team taking out a sniper" picture you painted. It really made me take more pride in my accomplishment. You are a great encourager - what a gift!
Les - Wow. Thank you for validating my need for mother-free space so that the traumatized child can emerge safely. You really have a way with words. I also appreciated you sharing your story of the bodily problems you had (throat closing) due to the lack of expression. I can totally relate to this. Did the surgery help you out? I hope so.
Mighty Mouse - I believe you when you say that things will only continue to get better and better. Its only been 3 months and my life has DRAMATICALLY changed for the better already. How does your mom handle the limited contact? Has she just learned to accept that or nothing at all - or does she still beg for more? Just curious. It's a true testimony when we don't miss our mothers. I am still a little in the mourning part of that. I feel really sad that things are the way they are but I also totally accept them and commit to making my life and my family's life better - that equals NO mother. She hurts us all - I can't let her do that to us anymore.
Again, thanks everyone. Big hugs all around.
Michelle
Anika:
--- Quote from: Michelle --- This is the weirdest part to me: Her tone the entire time was like it was Christmas - that sweet sappy tone that people use sometimes when they are truly giddy over something. Almost like my little girl's "sweet baby" voice.
--- End quote ---
UGH!!! Doesn't that just piss you off!?!?!? I HATE that tone that they get: so cheerful and bubbly and you just KNOW they're up to no good! :evil:
Keep your chin up, Michelle. You stuck to your guns and you didn't give in to her. Good for you. So what if you cried afterwards? She doesn't know that and we're not tell'in!
Michelle:
Thanks for your support Anika. I haven't seen you on the board before much. Good to hear you. : )
Michelle
Dawning:
Hi Michelle.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I decided to pull back from my mother at the end of March when I got absolutely horrifying emails from her raging at my happiness, my own personal right to have a dream. Your story is an inspiration and I honestly know how difficult - but empowering - it is to do what you are doing and "stick to your guns."
You sound healthy Michelle.
Michelle:
Hi Dawning -
Thank you for your post. I am so glad to see you around here. I feel very sentimental about you - you are always very encouraging and have been so helpful to me in all this healing. Thank you for that!
I have been reading more than I have been posting lately. Just too much energy sucked from me by having to stand up for myself in these uncomfortable situations but I am finally getting the hang of it.
I am proud of you for deciding what is best in your N relationship. I am sending big hugs for your hurts and any sadness you may be having right now. I know it's sad when things don't change. I guess they force us to do the changin'! Talk about pain.
Thanks again, your a treasured person on this board.
Hugs & Love,
Michelle
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