Re: Darren's story - Emotional Abuse

[Ami]

Wow James. You have a 22 year old cat. I never heard of that. You must be so attached .I have not had cats ,only dogs. I just lost my 13 year old Standard Poodle. What a bond I had with her. Now, I have a Yorkie,but I am bonding slowly ,for some reason.Maybe,it is b/c the loss of the Poodle was so great..
  I am so glad that you are thriving on the board.It is wonderful.               Love   Ami

[Ami]

Just thinking of you, Darren ,and wondering how you were doing.            Love    Ami

[darren]

Darren, hi it's Kim from Oz, again. I also, like to spend a lot of time alone. Mainly, because I can control the vibes around me. Ie, i can play music or not, I can vacuum or not, I can do the laundry or not. It is important to test your need for space from people as opposed to needing rest from the amount of energy that is circulating in your environment. I don't know where you live but I live in Canberra Australia, and I live in a peaceful cul-de-sac with no passing traffic, and lots of sounds of birds singing etc. That helps me be peaceful. I don't have to use an alarm clock because the cookatoo's in the big tree in the park wake at exactly the time I need to stir.

Being at one with nature makes me feel very peaceful. I have suffered with depression for a number of years and I am heavily medicated. I hope one day to not need the medication but in the meantime, I use it and it helps me get out of bed in the morning. Having no motivation was one of the reasons, I started taking mediation. I found that I felt a bit more energized. Exercise also helps as do having animals. I also have a cat, who has a real name but I call her "Chat" because that is one the things she does most of all and very loud. I talk back in chat language and she seems to know what I am saying. She is very affectionate and wants to be with me all the time, which can be a bit claustrobic, because she is a typical woman and doesn't shut up  for a minute. I put her in the towel cupboard and she goes to sleep because it is warm and dark. When your cats sit with you if they do, allow yourself to enjoy the energy they give off. It might be the electricity created by stroking their coats or just the way they rub up to you. Cats are very soothing creatures.

I hope this helps a bit.

Thanks, it does help quite a bit =)  I like living a solitary life and I think I always will; I will always want lots of space.  I'd love to live out in the peaceful country =)  I suppose sometimes when I think I need to change I picture that I have to be my polar opposite, but I doubt that'd make me happy.  I just feel that I've taken my solitary a bit too far and its unhealthy, but I can accept myself for who I am.  I don't think I need a whole lot of friends, but I need to learn to let at least some people in and not shut everybody out.  I've noticed that being completely solitary causes some problems for me.  If I don't share my thoughts with other people the negative ones tend to take over... I dunno... I can't seem to reinforce positive and good thoughts on my own.  When you talk to people they can validate your thoughts and reinforce them and make them stick.  I spent several years kicking myself thinking I wasn't good enough and hurting about things my ex did to me... it wasn't until broke my vow of silence that it just took a couple of people to get me out of that way of thinking.