Interesting things I found googling solutions.

[Lupita]

Many times you are only giving an opinion and the person comes out in a rampage explosion and if you dare to say to relax, they would be even more upset. Constantly feeling attacked for the most inosent comments. Narcissists will do anything, including brutalizing their own family, to maintain their own feeling that others see them as without any flaws. And, narcissists have extreme and illogical sensitivities, sometimes connecting the most minute observations with their intense fears of being seen as flawed. Narcissists will strain every muscle to meet their own "flawless" image, and demean or destroy anyone or anything who casts any doubt on this image.The person who was once perfectly friendly, nice and amicable,  now can become angry, demeaning, and harshly critical. After a while it becomes hard to distinguish what is real from what is being projected and what is being distorted. We begin to doubt our reality and question whether we're the crazy ones. What's more, disordered people hide their problems very effectively, concealing their disease from most people, causing us further confusion. If you see this dynamic in your partner, family member, coworker, or friend, I add, post responses, you are very probably dealing with a narcissist.

[Leah]

Brilliant find, Lupita

Thank you very much, for such refreshing insightful information.

Very much appreciated.

Hope your day is good.

Love, Leah

[Lupita]

Lea, as usual, thank you so much for your kind words. My day is wonderful. Today is President's day and I do not have to work. I am at home RELAXING!!!!!!!!!

 

No work today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     

[Leah]

Oh, YIPPEE ..........   

So glad to know that you have a day off .... no work today ...... well deserved day off too ......  Lupita

You do whatever it is you wish to do, and enjoy!   

And, "Thank you"  for your kind and precious validation.

love, Leah


PS >   I am listening to a piano recital CD at the moment ...... as I do my work, I enjoy gentle background music playing.

And also, once again, grateful thanks, for the YouTube links that you shared previously, they have been such an enjoyable gift to me.   

[Lupita]

Skills for dealing with narcissistic attempts can be divided into two areas, intrapersonal and interpersonal. Intrapersonally, it is essential not to react. This means that reactions of fear, impatience, or anger are not practical. In their place should be patience and curiosity. On an interpersonal level, responses and questions like, "that's interesting, it seems like there is a contradiction in your logic." All of these can generate positive results in terms of reducing the control of the narcissistic forces. This is done through the non-reaction, which communicates, "you are not so powerful"
The emotional boundaries are also helpful in not taking the narcissism's actions or positions personally.
The narcissist, consumed and driven by the grandiosity, feels responsible for everything; therefore, all failures, frustrations, and disappointments are its fault, and are directed personally at it. Feeling constantly attacked or hypocritically apologyzing. In interacting with narcissism, one does not want to fall into the narcissist's world and take what is going on personally. Narcissism's actions are indiscriminate. They are directed toward any object, person or group that threatens its control, domination and his/her perfection.
An excellent emotional boundary system does not allow the force of another person's emotions to penetrate one's own personal space.

[Lupita]

Do not announce your thoughts, to friends, family or your spouse. Loose lips sink ships and your best friend may be gossiping with your spouse or other people, telling all your ideas. You'd be surprised how often this happens. If after you have realized a friend aren't able to understand,  and you are tired of analysis paralysis, and of repeating the story over and over, and have decided life will be better without this woman/man/friend/poster/mother in your life, then do.................. nothing. That's right. Nothing.

Now is the time to think. Think about the future. Money, kids, housing, jobs, retirement - whatever is relevant to your future. Understand what you want and need.

Most important thing to think about: have you learned the secret of handling a narcissist - remember this begins and ends with your knowledge.

Then slowly, begin to prepare as if you are the general of a war, a long one with spies and weapons of mass destruction hidden everywhere.

[Lupita]

I know that I am better than most of those who surround me, although i am not quite sure of the points of difference between me and them, still I know that I am much better than them. People seem to be weak, helpless and vulnerable. Most of them fail to succeed, the majority of them are depressed and the rest don’t know where will life take them. What I do is perfect. Nobody can give me advise or tell me what to do.
I am not like these people and that’s why I should be on the top, that’s why and that’s why I should outperform them.

Part of a Narcissist’s diary

[Lupita]

Narcissists are trying to exaggerate thier selve worth because deep inside you there are some feelings of inferiority or lets say a wound. This wound is what you should really be putting your effort to get rid of and not anything else. For some reason you felt insecure and that’s why you have built this shield around your true self.
I know that part of your self worth is based on true achievements and on real life success, and I know that you posses some special abilities and that’s why you should have no problem in facing your real self and in healing your wounded inner child.

So to summarize this, explore your wounds, deal with them and let go of your shield.


There is a thin line between narcissism and over confidence, I can’t describe one of them without mentioning the other as they are strongly connected, however, not all over confident people are narcissists.

Over confidence is over estimating your abilities and skills by a certain amount due to past experience or previous success. On the other hand, narcissism is thinking that you are superior and omnipotent.

If you are over confident, then take care. Lack of self confidence can hold you back but over confidence can cost you everything including your life. lack of confidence can make you stay at home instead of going swimming but over confidence can make you jump in the sea even if you cant swim.

[Lupita]

Bothering Him Much or even depressing Him: Ignoring a narcissist or being indifferent to him can kill him. Although he will devaluate you for doing so, still you will be causing him much pain.
Directing Him Somewhere: Just tell any narcissist that he can never learn Chinese and then leave him alone. Most probably you will find that he started Chinese courses few weeks later just to proof to you that he is superior and that you were wrong.
Make him Love You: Complement him, show him that you are impressed by him, and tell him that you are convinced that he superior, and he will be your friend. Although it wont be true friendship but he will try to keep close to you because you are now considered a new source of narcissistic supply .

They are achievers, intelligent and outperformers, but still lack two things, balance and a solid self worth.

[Lupita]

Narcissistic personalities fear questions. To them, question marks are little hooks that may "catch" them and hold them captive. It is not easy to have a conversation without asking a question, but by phrasing sentences carefully and patiently it can be done. For example, "I thought this and that...I wonder why." Or, "To me it's important to do this and that...but I'm not sure you agree." Or, blatantly, "You are so much more knowledgeable about this and that. I'd value your opinion."

[Lupita]

The narcissist's great fear of being small and unimportant require a great deal of input, of physical as well as energetic nourishment. Communicating with them can be very draining, however if you can use food and eating metaphors and examples, it may make the job easier.
To befriend, to communicate with a narcissist and to acknowledge whatever portion of themselves they choose to share with you will be difficult. You will never "get" anything out of the relationship. In fact it may be as close to unconditional love as it's possible to experience with a human being. And it will be fleeting, like spring flowers.

[Lupita]

communication with narcissists should never be different as to communicating with anyone else. Just don't help their egos get even bigger than it is!

[Lupita]

Lighter, I hope you read this and am waiting for your opinion.

So far, only Lea has posted in here. You see? OC ? about the period you mentioned? Many posts stay unresponded. Many times people do not feel interested, it is OK.

After so many problems I have, a post that does not cause any interest is a minimum problem to me. LOve to you, and tell you that your posts are interesting, I always read them.

LOve to all. God bless you.

[Confounded]

Playing it close to the vest takes some practice, doesn't it?  One wants to share, discuss, get the input of others...  But when dealing with an N, every urge to initiate or continue communication must be evaluated, weighed against the down side.  The internal dialog: "Time to stop talking?  Is the N about to launch into a complaint rant?  Does s/he seem agitated?  If I say what I think, will I create an opportunity for the N to bait me and/or insult me?  Same old, same old.  Where's that magazine?  This is so boring."

The more you keep your thoughts to yourself, and do not speak your mind, the more you take back your time and energy, wresting your very self away from the N's absurd control.

[lighter]

Lighter, I hope you read this and am waiting for your opinion.

Hee.... how odd to jump into this topic first thing this am..... and find my name on it, lol.

Fascinating thread...... like going back in time really...... feels like the old board again. 

Thanks for sharing it,((( Lupita.))) 

You sound strong and on track: )