Last night, as I was putting my 8 yr old to bed, I was reading her Cinderella, a book she chose me to read (go figure, after just saying Cinderella was the character I see myself as)...God has a sense of humor...
I began noticing narcissistic behaviors in the book and their comparison to the Bible. So, here are some things I saw:
Book: Cinderella was made to wait on her step-sisters, yet dressed in rags and was treated awfully.
NPD: Narcissists will show favor to specific individuals, based on if they will do the N's bidding or not. Children of N's are often enslaved in some way, while they watch the favored child/ren receive all the goodies and "love" from the N-parent.
My life: My mother constantly compared me to my cousin, telling me I should try to be more like her. I watched my cousin be first and best in so many things and felt that I was never as good as her in my mother's eyes.
Bible: Evil leaders let God's people see the wealthy folks and folks of other relgions, prospering, living in beautiful houses, eating fine foods, while they were enslaved, made to wait on the wealthy, and suffer under horrid living conditions.
Book: the step-mother's cat would torment innocent mice
NPD: It is not uncommon that a narcissist will harm animals or train one animal to harm another. I've heard of people using this to terrify little children into obeying, because they've watched their pets be brutally killed or maimed repeatedly, and will do anything to protect their innocent lives.
My Life: My husband is very cruel verbally to my pets. He used to kick my cats and even stepped on one of my baby kittens, acting as though it was nothing and refusing to pay for me to take it to the vet (which I did anyway and the vet adopted it, tried to save it, but it died anyway)
Bible: Often in Bible times, animals were used to fight one another to determine prowess and power.
Book: Cinderella dreamed that one day she would be rescued from her situation of torment
NPD: Children of N's sometimes fantasize about how life might have been or could be, once they see the lives of others that are not riddled with narcissism and other dysfunctions.
My Life: I always fantasized about a prince coming to take me away from my life of constant chores, physical abuse from my step-father and a very confusing childhood with this paranoid man who nothing ever measured up for.
Bible: People in the Bible often looked to a "day of redemption" from their torments, or a Savior to deliver them out of oppression
Book: the step-mother gave Cinderella a false hope that she, too could go to the ball
NPD: often, abusive parents will make promises to their victim-children
My Life: I was often promised things I wanted as long as I got my impossible list of chores done.
Bible: rewards were often promised when people obeyed their rulers buttttttttttttttttt....
Book: the step mother gave Cinderella so many chores that she knew she'd not get done on time for the ball, even making her help her step-sisters look their best, knowing that Cinderella wanted that ball trip more than anything!
NPD: Not uncommon that the favored child/ren are put on pedestals, given everything the victim child longs for, right in front of her. Also not uncommon that the victim child is forced to accomplish impossible things before she can hope to earn a reward that will, of course, never be coming to her.
My Life: I sometimes was made to do things I detested, like wash dishes that hadn't been scraped off first, so there was junk floating in the dishpan. I was stood over by my step-father and grandfather, and forced to stick my hands in that water. I still have some sensory issues from stuff like that. Another thing I had to do was wipe off wooden floors under my step-father's bed, where he collected dead skin from his feet. I did this with a barely damp cloth. It was awful.
Bible: The pharoah, a wicked ruler, when the people complained that they could not accomplish the task of building bricks, gave them LESS STRAW to build with, yet demanded that they build mORE bricks...a truly impossible feat which he had them whipped for not accomplishing. Again, these poor God-people had to see the wealthy folk in rich houses, living it up, while they struggled under the hot sun, being beaten for something it was impossible to do.
Book: After Cinderella's mice-friends made her a gown and she ran to show her sisters and mother, the sisters tore the gown to shreds right on her body!
NPD: A narcissist can not STAND the victim prospering. If an N notices that you have something he/she wants, and especially if it means you might "steal their spotlight," they will set out to utterly destroy you. The only way you will be allowed to "look good" is if it will promote compliments toward the N. It's all about THEM and what THEY want.
My Life: My step father could not stand to see me not working. He was very OCD and if we weren't always working on our chore list, he'd go ballistic. My husband is pretty much like that too. I have to look like I'm busy working when he is here, or he will start hollering or pouting.
Bible: King Herod had all the first born male babies killed, because he could not stand the idea that a king would one day rise up, who would be righteous and good and honored. He was filled with jealousy and envy and hatred and so, reacted in rage and murder
Book: Cinderella managed to escape briefly and get to the ball, due to the fairy's help
NPD: sometimes victims of n's get a glimpse of what "could be" and begin longing for a better life and plotting to have it
My Life: I always saw other people living a good life. I wanted it too.
Bible: Occasionally slaves escaped, only to be brought back into slavery and treated even more punishing because they dared to venture out from their bondage.
Book: At the ball, the step-sisters and mother did not recognize Cinderella
NPD: often, once a victim breaks free from the narcissist, the narcissist not only does not "get it"...how can my "puppet" be talking, walking apart from me---but the N will then try to harm that person or just ignore them.
My Life: My step-father and husband seemed to think I was an extension of them, should think as they did/do and have the same interests and want to be as perfectionistic about things as they were/are. I was/am punished in various ways if I didn't/don't comply
Bible: People did not recognize who Jesus was through other eyes than worldly ones..."is this not just the man from Nazareth? Can anything GOOD come from there?"
Book: Not taking any chances, the step-mother locked Cinderella up when the duke was trying the slipper on her daughters
NPD: typically, the favored children will be given "first dibs" on anything...the victim child will be locked away and kept from ever knowing some of the favorable treatments, sometimes hearing of them through another person (this is a covert way to torment someone)
My Life: My step-dad/mom's children were given all my toys plus treated as much more favored than I was. Even years later I'd hear about all the great things that they were given, accomplished, etc. My sister is a surgeon, brothers work in hospitals...but Laura, you just married a farm person and need to go back to school to get a career and BE something like so and so..."
Bible: King's children were always given the best, first of everything, while peasants were sometimes allowed to watch, but generally only heard about it from others.
Book: Step mother tripped the Duke when it was time for Cinderella to try on the slipper
NPD: A narcissist will stand in the way or harm anyone trying to help the victim
My Life: The secrets about the family abuse were kept carefully hidden from the public eye. In my case, nobody tried to help me, but I tried to speak out and stop the abuse. I ended up moving in with my relatives but making peace with my mentally ill step-dad years later before he passed.
Bible: Anyone who dared to favor someone the rulers felt was a threat, was often killed in the Bible...hence why Jesus' followers met in an upper room after his death, fearing that they too would be executed.
Book: Cinderella was prepared and had saved the other slipper in her pocket...YAY
NPD: The blessed people who once were victims, learned a way to escape and held to it until they could make their getaway
My Life: I have always had some sort of plan of escape. I was a chronic run-a-way most of my teen years and even now, I know how to protect my own sanity.
Bible: Jesus IS the way of escape for those in bondage to evil and evil-hearted people/parents/friends/ etc.
So, there's my comparisons and i'd love comments if you choose to share
thank you for reading
~Laura
