Detachment

[Lupita]

Me too, Violet. Coincidence? I dont think so. as Finding peace too?

We suffer from the same "Decease"

[finding peace]

Dear Lupita,

I will by praying that you can find a new job.  I am hoping that something opens up for you in a public school.  I think the pay, benefits, and support from administration would be a lot better.

((((Lupita)))))

Dear Violet,

I am very sorry that you related to what I wrote - the futility of it all still gets to me.  ((((Violet))))  I hope you are feeling better from the flu.  I am on the tail end of it - thank goodness, it was a nasty one!

Hey Lupita,  Maybe we can come up with a technical term - how about Ncephalitis? (Inflammation in the brain resulting from N trauma), with the only treatment an Nectomy? 

Take care,
Peace

[Lupita]

Finding Peace, that term, "Ncephalitis" sounds from a genious, from a mastermind, sounds great!!!!!!!!!  just so perfect!!!!!!!


Inflamation of the encephalus, inflamation of the head!!!!!!!!!!!


You just had the most creative term creation!!!!!!!!!!


Loved it.

 
 
 

[finding peace]

Hi Lupita,

Glad you liked it!!   

I thought of another one this morning - since the thought of an N can induce vomiting, how about N-emesis (I wrote that and took a second look - put together it spells Nemesis - how very appropriate!!)

Take care,
Peace

[Lupita]

Finding Peace, that is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

Simply Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 
 
 

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!

I am at home trying to practice some relaxing and trying to forget about work, trying to practice some detachment. Very hard.

But I feel a little better.

Second period, after the librarian has yelled at me in front of my students, not to send students to the media center, she sent a note during my class time, to send a student there because she had sent aproval. I said if my boss gives the order I will do it, not for the librarian. The kid was upset, but I called her father and explained. Hope that they understand.

Third period, a student asked for permission to go to the bathroom. She went to the icecream shop one block down the school, with another teacher. I called the office to ask them to get her back because she had taken too much time in the bathroom. I had to write her up. What is a surprise to me is that a teacher does not ask her where is she coming from, why dos he take her outside the school, why did not he sent her back to my class. So, she got a detention, but they did not blame the teacher at all for being such a jerk. He wanted to get me in trouble, the idiot. But I did the correct thing calling the office and write them up.

Sixth period, the usual abuse.

The rest of the week was very nice, exceptionally nace. No problems at all Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

But spring brake is coming up and will rest. Summer I will try to get into public school.

Please, dear friends of the board, pray for me, I need to detach. The Detachmetn Paradox book says that the most you detach the more successful youa re in your job.

Also I need to feel well for the 176 students that do nice things and work hard for me, and not allow four "bad appoles" make me feel bad. It is silly of my part to feel bad with 98% success and feel bad for 2% of failure.

But I am trying to work in my error thinking.

Help me out friends, if you can,

Love to you all.

God bless you all.

[Lupita]

Happy Sunday to everyone.

I have time today. But not the energy to do anything I would like. Losing interest in almost everything.

God bless you all.

[Lupita]

Hi, I needed to give it a bump to this thread because my printer is not working and I need to read it constantly, it is helpful for me, and it might be helpful for others too. And then I have to go page by page trying to find it.

Please, ofr anybody that is seeing this for the first time, please, start from the beginning. Do not read just a part, it is important that you read it all.

Thank you, I am just trying to help. I read this articles and they calm me down in difficult moments where I am being proviked everyday at work.

Love to you all and God bless you. Thank you for being my friends.

[Lupita]

Signs of unresolved anger in mind and body
How do you know you have unresolved anger or bitterness towards someone? You're constantly fantasizing about their downfall or dreaming about them. "I tell patients that if they're thinking about the incident twice a year, then it's really not an issue," says psychologist Catherine Gildiner. "If they're thinking about it several times a day, they need to do something about it."

Paying attention to what your body is trying to tell you will also clue you in. Anger can express itself in a clenched jaw, dry mouth, shallow breathing and a raised voice, for instance. Inside the body, your blood pressure is probably spiking, your heart pounding and your gut tightening. The brain releases the "fight or flight" chemicals which flood your body, constricting blood vessels and potentially leading to problems such as migraines, high blood pressure, and even cardiovascular disease.

Learning to let go of negative feelings is good stress management
At the very least, holding on to resentments means you're investing time and energy in the past, not the present. "It siphons off energy that you need in the present to get healthy," says Mark Cummings.

Here's what the experts recommend to start unpacking some of that health-threatening emotional baggage:

Six steps to letting go of anger and resentment
Stop blaming yourself. In our stressful world, many people tend to blame themselves when things go wrong.

"You will never be able to forgive anyone if you can't forgive yourself first," says Dr. Gildiner. "When you let go of feelings of self-blame, you will immediately find it easier to forgive others."


Try not to take it personally. Anger about slights or wrongdoings and an inability to forgive arises from deep-seated issues back in childhood, such as feeling that your mother always favoured your brother or sister. Now, when your close friends don't seat you at the head table at their wedding, unresolved feelings of inadequacy surface with a vengeance.

Instead of thinking to yourself, I'm not good enough and that's why they didn't seat me at the head table,' recognize that the reason probably has nothing to do with you, like the fact that they didn't have any room left at the head table. Not personalizing an event makes it much easier to let go of resentment.


Deal with your feelings. Unresolved anger or bitterness may make it difficult for you to focus on the rest of your life.

Acknowledging your feelings is the first step to dealing with them. You may then to decide to approach whoever's upset you and discuss how you feel. Or if you feel that's not an option, you may find that understanding why you feel the way you do is enough to let you move on.


Put yourself in the other person's shoes. When someone says or does something that hurts you, recognize that often it's because they feel jealous or frustrated themselves.

Maybe you got the promotion, for instance, and they didn't. See the sadness in their actions and use it to let go of your negative feelings.
Make peace with the past. Even if a person you feel anger toward is no longer alive, you still need to forgive and let go of those feelings.

There are different ways to do this. Some people find it helpful to write down all their hurt feelings and then to let them go by tearing up the list or burning it. By laying your resentments to rest you are less likely to be haunted by them.
Seek professional help. If anger and frustration patterns are taking over your life, you may need to get expert assistance to let it go.

If you have a family doctor, this is a good person to talk with. He or she may also refer you to other health professionals or programs in your community. The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) also offers a wide range of specialized mental health programs and services in locations across Canada.
 
 
 

[Lupita]

5. Change what we can,
let go of what we can't change
Learning to see the difference between things that we can change and things that we can't is the first step to letting go and freeing ourselves inside.

6. Emotions can be red flags or red lights
Guilt, regret, anger and anxiety can sometimes help us to see things in our lives that need to be fixed and changed and worked on. But they are useless emotions when they paralyze us. They are useless when there is nothing that we can do to heal them. When they are useless, we need to let them go.

7. Learning to tell the difference
We can learn to figure out when our emotions are trying to tell us something useful, or when they're causing us to lose track of what's important. The first step is to slow down, and find that place of peace inside. Then examine what exactly it is that you're angry or sad or anxious about. What would it take to make it right? Is there anything that you can do about it now? Is there anything you can do about it at some other time? If not, let it go. If so, set a new course.
8. Redirecting our focus
When we find our emotions have led us to a fork in the road, we can refocus and redirect the paths we have chosen to walk. What path can we take to lead us towards making whatever is wrong right? It helps to write down our thoughts and concerns and resolves. It helps to keep our focus on the paths we choose, and to let go of paralyzing emotions until the time when they can be resolved, and to concentrate on the moment at hand. We can all benefit from keeping a peace journal.





© 1996-2004 The People For Peace Project
www.WeWantPeaceOnEarth.com

[Lupita]

Featured in: Nutrition & LifeAccepting the things one cannot change is a very important skill to develop in order to reduce stress and stay healthy.
"May I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."
Reinhold Niebuhr, 1926


Probably when you get right down to it, all unhappiness in our lives stems from having difficulty with part one or part two of the above saying. When we find ourselves wishing for something different in our lives, it is worth asking ourselves whether or not what we are wishing for is something that is within our control. If our wish is something that is not within our control, then it is perhaps best to accept what is, and let go of that desire. In the simplest of situations, it is a merely a matter of adjusting one's thinking. For example, if you are in a hurry and find yourself stuck in a traffic jam, the reality is there is nothing you can do to make traffic move more quickly no matter how hard you may wish otherwise. Tying oneself in emotional knots is not helpful nor healthful. Let go of the worry of being late. Instead, have the presence of mind to accept your current reality, and be at peace. The difference between being at peace and being extremely stressed comes down to the difference in how you think. Nothing has changed in terms of the physical reality of the situation, but the hormone and neurotransmitter response in your body will be radically different.
Letting go is a vital part of maintaining emotional health in the most difficult of times in our life. Life is forever changeable, never remaining the same, and it is certain that we will be parted from those we love either through a relationship ending, or through death. How we deal with these realities can mean the difference between health and disease. Hanging onto the past and not letting go can mess up hormone, neurotransmitter and peptide balance and over time this can create major problems in the body. So mourn, accept what is, say good bye, and let go.

Related Posts:
Recognize your Reality
How hormones, neurotransmitters and steroids work
Mind and body; psyche and soma


Katie, Byron Loving What Is Three Rivers Press, New York NY, 2002.

www.wellnesstips.ca

[Lupita]

Twice a month my children meet other kids and young adults to play Hero Clix. It's an action figure game hosted by Wiz Kids and our local collector's shop and it last five hours! I'm not comfortable leaving my 10-year-old daughter with a bunch of boys, so while they play, I spend the afternoon sitting in my car, catching up on work (with an occasional peek inside). Today, I read several short books which I had been putting off reviewing. And to my surprise, the time flew by. My husband even surprised me by showing up and taking me to lunch, next door.

But something strange happened when I returned home with the kids 2 � hours later. I walked into the house, sat down to check emails and went from relaxed, carefree mom to instant stressed-out mom. All of a sudden, the successful month I had last month didn't matter. It wasn't good enough.

I had to take a step back to see what triggered this reaction.

What in the emails I read sent me in a panic to find a way to earn more money? What made me feel as though I wasn't a success? And why did I allow this to happen? Why am I not content with where my life is and where it's headed?

And that's when it hit me. I have really high expectations of myself.

Instead of seeing the successful things I've accomplished, I see the things I didn't accomplish.

Instead of being proud of the fact that I brought in enough income to pay our bills and have a little spending money, I think it wasn't good enough because I didn't make enough to pay off a credit card bill in full.

Instead of realizing I was able to take my kids to school, bring them forgotten assignments, meet them for lunch, and do countless other things with them�because I work from home�I think of what I am not doing with or for them.

Instead of enjoying the free time I have, I feel guilty because the time isn't being used to pull in more income.

And that's when I realized I desperately need a change!

When did I get like this? When did this shell of a person become me? How can I have a successful, growing home business, and feel as though I am not meeting some standard? And whose standard am I trying to meet anyway?

Surely not the one I set for myself when I decided to raise a family and have kids. If I remember correctly, I didn't want to be a millionaire. I just wanted to make enough money and work a business that allowed me flexibility in watching my kids grow up.

If you find yourself wound so tight you can't enjoy the simple pleasures of life, it's time to take a look at your own life and make some drastic changes. Remember, we only have one life to live--live it well!Alyice Edrich is the author of several work from home e-books, and the editor of a national publication for BUSY parents. Subscribe to her free e-newsletter to get a free e-book and updates on her blog, Finding Me. http://thedabblingmum.com/joinezine.htm

[Lupita]

Before you can get rid of haunting memories, you must come to terms with the origin of those memories. You can not let go of anything that you try to suppress. Suppression is not a solution, it is only a band-aid on the problem. Talking to someone about these memories can assist you in coming to terms with them. If that is too much for you to do, buy a journal and write it down. Writing can be very therapeutic. Really, all you need is a way to get your feelings about these experiences out.
Now that you have mentally cleansed yourself, you can begin to "let go." Letting go means that you allow yourself to understand that any experience you have had, good or bad, is not your fault. You can get to the point where you know that each experience you've had the opportunity to witness is meant to be a lesson to you. You were meant to learn something from the situation so that you could advance to where you need to be in this life. When learning to let go, internalizing this first point is the most important.
Decide what lesson it is you were to learn from the experience that produced the memory. There is always a lesson in everything.
When you define the lesson you were meant to learn, create a mantra on paper, that you can commit to memory. This mantra should include the experience itself, as well as what you have learned from it. For example, if you have a painful memory of abuse, your mantra can read: "Through the memory of being emotionally abused, I am learning to be a stronger person and I will no longer allow anyone to take advantage of me."
Take the time to sit with this mantra and let your mind grab a hold of it. Allow yourself to make the memory of your mantra stronger than the memory of the experience you have had. Repeating it to yourself frequently will accomplish that goal.
Next, take your mantra and put it in a safe place so that if you ever forget it, or the memories are still painful, you can return to it easily.
Lastly, allow peace to enter your being. When you are at peace, and calm has become part of your life, it very difficult for negativity to live inside of you. In order for you to let go, you must accept peace.
Try doing easy breathing in and breathing out processes, once you have relaxed try thinking of a happy place, or try focus on the one thing you want best. for example: think of ice-cream or candy, anything that will take these bad memories out of your head. If you are stressing so much try sit down and calm your self by listening to classical music this will sooth your soul.

[Betelgeuse]

Lupita!

Wow, there's a tonne of information here... I scanned through it (loved the part on Caesar), but will have to save it for more concentrated reading.

Thank you.

Bee

[Lupita]

Thank you Bet, thank you Iz. Thanks for your kind words.

I love this kind of threads, not for everybody, but many people like it too. I come to the thread and read it and calms me down when I have nxiety. When I fix my printer I am going to print it. It has a select group of readings that are of particular help to me and it might help to others too.

I have taken time to color special parts and to put together articles of the same kind. I like it very much and I know that some others like it too. So, I will keep working.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

God bless you.

[Lupita]

How to forgive


Step 1Think about what happened.

Step 2:
Acknowledge all of your feelings. There is often anger lurking behind any hurt or sadness you might feel.

Step 3:
Express your feelings - write them out, talk to a friend or simply allow yourself to feel what you feel.

Step 4:
Accept responsibility for your own emotions. Although you were wronged and your emotions may be justified, it is still up to you to decide when you're ready to stop feeling angry or upset.

Step 5:
Talk to the other person about the behavior that upset you and how it made you feel. The odds are that you won't feel truly ready to forgive until you know this person has heard and understood your perspective.

Step 6:
Try to understand the other person's perspective, even if you don't really agree with it.

Step 7:
Rebuild trust in the relationship. Make agreements about acceptable future behavior whenever appropriate.

Step 8:
Make the decision to forgive, and communicate your forgiveness to the other person. Once you've done this, make every effort to move on and let it go completely.