Ami,
I'm so sorry to hear about your doggy.
Oh, Ami, so much grief and pain this year. When it rains, it pours, all at once. sheesh!!!!!!
I felt grief in my body as this: constant aching muscles, aching joints, fatigue, felt like a sleep walker. The grief was a constant malaise that followed me every where. Everywhere I went, I took my grief with me, or it followed me. I felt it all the time, it was there all the time.
Then I started to consciously work on it. When I felt it in my body (aches, fatigue), I asked myself what I could do to feel better? hot bath, massage, cry, sit and zone out, visualize releasing it. It helped to take joy in everyday things, like feeling the sun on my skin, looking at beautiful flowers, sleeping.
I also read many books, trying to fathom the meaning of life and one thing I decided was that I must enjoy my life. So, seeking joy and enjoyment has become key for me. That joy and enjoyment includes helping and loving people (but not in a codependent way) and honoring and validating myself.
Have you read any books on grief? Some talk about how to live with the loss of a loved one, what to do on anniversaries, birthdays, etc.
I guess the hardest part about losing a loved one is how do we keep living? We must find a new way to live and learn to live with our loss. I suppose that's a lesson God wants us to learn: How do we continue living, despite the loss? It's a really deep profound question and maybe it's God's way of telling us that we need to live on a deeper, more profound plain of existence.
hth
love,
annie
