"Normal"

[Ami]

*I* believe   "bad" thoughts define me as irredeemably or uniquely "bad------Bleh. Maybe, I have work to do(LOL)??????   Ami

[Gabben]

Hi Ami,

For me, I identify the negative, or bad feelings/selfish thoughts as my lovable inner child acting out or the emotionally immature side of my personality. Think about children and how precious they are even when they are angry, selfish, or jealous because it is someone else's birthday party etc., we don't make them wrong for being immature...they will grow, if they are unconditionally loved. Therefore, I accept and love that part of me just like I accept and love the total sum of who you are.

Like muscles, I have to exercise the unselfish muscle to make it strong and there is no better way to do that than to make selfless sacrafices and practice empathy. Selflessness begins with action.

Also, the jealous nature of me rarely crops up anymore because over the years, through AA, I have practiced and cultivated an "attitude of gratitude."

Gratitude is an antidote for envy or jealously.

Everyday I thank God for all that I have even the simplest things such as running clean water and plumbing . I thank God for my health and for every bit of food that goes in me. It is amazing the warmth and generous spirit that practicing gratitude will develop in us.


Thanks mud -- I appreciate were you are coming from.

Gabben

[mudpuppy]

*I* believe   "bad" thoughts define me as irredeemably or uniquely "bad------Bleh.

The key word there Ami is 'believe'.
I'm sure you know in some intellectual sense that they don't actually define you as a 'bad' person, especially a uniquiely bad one, but you believe or feel or are afraid that somehow they do, especially in other's eyes. How one goes about unlearning that belief I don't know, but it seems like it is probably the most important step in healing for those who were raised by Ns.

mud

[Ami]

Love you,Mud!                                    Ami