Trying to Get You to Agree With Lies

[gratitude28]

I am going to try to explain what I mean here - maybe someone can clarify it further and put the idea into better words.
Does your N ever try to get you to agree with a lie (it's a game of control, I believe).

Here are two examples off the top of my head:

My NM went to a massage therapist who, while treating her, said she "felt" my mother had been abused. Now the therapist may have been a whack job (or not), but my mother went so overboard freaking out about it, that it seems that there must have been truth. So she tried to get everyone to agree that the therapist must have been crazy to have done such a thing and assumed such a thing.

My NM has a horse that she keeps near her house. She never visits it or rides it - a lady takes care of it for her and she pays her to do so. She doesn't want it, but needs to "own it." Some people who like horses stopped by and asked the caretaker if my mother would let them ride/exercise the horse. My mother apparently said no and they said, "But you don't ride her." She went ballistic about what a bitch this woman was and how it was hers. and wanted everyone around her to agree.

It just seems like a huge control game to bully people into agreeing about the opposite when you can see truth. Does this make any sense???????

[SilverLining]

I think you're getting at a core part of the narcissistic process.  Since they don't have connection to an authentic core self, it becomes necessary to get other people to agree with them so they can prop up their own false self.    It's not real for them otherwise, and at the same time it doesn't matter if the other people have to lie about their agreement.   The appearance of agreement serves its purpose for them.  The truth of what others think is not a concern. 

Getting others to agree with a lie is all they do. 

In dealing with my N's, I've come to realize this kind of thing is constant.  Most of their interaction is aimed at propping up their false self one way or another.  If they don't "control" others they have no floor under themselves.

Does this make any sense? 



 

[Certain Hope]

The truth of what others think is not a concern. 

Getting others to agree with a lie is all they do. 

In dealing with my N's, I've come to realize this kind of thing is constant.  Most of their interaction is aimed at propping up their false self one way or another.  If they don't "control" others they have no floor under themselves.

Does this make any sense? 



 

Yes... imo, you've got it, tjr... except I'd say that all of their interaction is aimed at propping up their false selves.

Carolyn