I would like to stop reacting internally to things that do not deserve a reaction. No more responses of racing heart, hurt, anger, worry, depression. Let it roll off my back, like water off a duck's back. Laugh it off.
I would like to be consistent in my ability to handle my own life without ever feeling nervous around the person who has shown me what N rage looks like.
I would like my happiness to be strong enough to withstand whatever threatens it.
Ultimately, I am HAPPY to have experienced all of this. I feel that it has helped me to learn lessons that were not part of my prior learning expereince. Without all of this, I would never have been told by a T that 50% of the population has issues that are serious enough to warrant a diagnosis. It makes me feel better to know that I am not the most unlucky woman alive. The odds of marrying someone with serious issues are rather high.
In a round-about way, this has gotten me to a much better place in my own mind. I am happy, and nothing that anybody can do or say can take that away. Yet at times I still experience anxiety in connection with events that could lead to disagreement with H.
I am happy. Now, I want to feel calm, regardless of what is said or done around me.
