You have no idea how stupid I am.

[Lupita]

Today was the last day before spring vacation. Sixth period asked me if we could go to the ice cream shop in front of the street. I had gone to the ice cream shop with my other classes amd sixth period was behaving well for the first time.

We went, with permission of the office, or course, and when we got there, they did not buy anything. They said they did not have any money. Then I said, why did you asked me to go there then? They laught and said because we wanted to go.

Later a student was missing, and he was at the office with out my permission. The secretary told me it was not his fault. They are jerking me around. teachers and students. They know I need my job and they will torment me until the end of the year.

So, when we came from the ice cream shop, I got the bibles and made them read Hebrews 13:17 about not to be a burden for your authorities, and James chapter 2 where haith with out dids is dead faith, and we read the bible until the bell rang.

When we were leaving I saw one of my tormentors with his girlfriends who is a nice little friend of mine ex students of mine I told her, he is not being good to me and you know it. Please, help me with him, tell him to be good to me. She said she will.

Then My son came back from our country from visiting his father and he did not call me, I called him and he was with GFM and GF in their house.

Still, to have had a car accident on Monday and nothing happened, I think that the Lord is telling me that things can always be worse.

[seasons]

(((Lupita)))

Hoping the rest of the year will pass quickly for you, even through all these troubles.
Their behavior is outrageous and should not be tolerated!!!!

Your in my prayers, with God's grace may you be lead to a new school full of peace. seasons

[Gabben]

Hi Lupita,

Hang in there and I do not think you are stupid, you just have a challenging and demanding job.

Hugs,
Lise

[Ami]

I don't see how YOU are stupid ,Lupita?              Ami

[seasons]

Lupita,

I agree with Ami.

You are not stupid!!!!!!

You are beautiful, smart, honest and bravely honest.  I admire you and have learned so much from you.
 seasons

[Lupita]

Thank you  seasons, and thank you Ami and Gabben for your kind words.

I do think I was stupid, because I thought that there was a possibility to recover with sixth period. I gave them the opportunity to humiliate me and laugh at me.

I will never try to do anything nice with them. Maybe chips and salsa, in the class room and they have to bring everything.

But I am tired, very tired. I give up with them. They manipulate me because they know that I am dying for them to like me.

And some teachers help them to torment me.

[Leah]

Dear ((((( Lupita ))))))

Truly, in your shoes, I would have done exactly the same.  In all honesty, I have done similar and been smited.

I have considered myself as been naive and stupid along with gullible.

However, a very wise senior lady set me free from this and I wish to share and impart her words to you, dear Lupita.

"when those who are pure in heart and with pure intention extend a heart of genuine thought and care ...... basically, don't expect to receive, instead, just go on freely giving, as oneself, unto which, be true."

Lupita, you acted with thought for good ......... they behaved wrongly.

"once bitten, twice shy"  ..... I don't believe that you will repeat that kind exercise ...... so that they may learn from the fruit of their wrongful behavior (hopefully).

You have my respect regarding your professional attitude and hard work.

God Bless you.

Love, Leah

[Lupita]

Thank you Lea. Thank you for your time and your kind words.

Now what I need is to internalize that I should be proud of my self instead of feeling humiliated.

They humilliated me but it is their behavior. They do not understand. I do.

You made me feel better with the "pure heart", I am very honest and always want good for my students.

I need to feel proud that I did the right thing and not sad and humilliated like a dog with the tail between his legs with the head down almost between the front legs.

I will listen to my CD of affirmations, I will go and buy another CD of affirmations and a book for detachment, then will go to good will and by another pair of shoes, then try to read on meditation and relax.

After all that work I might feel better. I will tell you about it to night.

LOve to you and thank you again.

[Lupita]

I need to believe that when my students take advantage of me it is not because I am stupid, but because they know they will get away with it. I need to believe that they behave mischivous and it is not because I am an idiot. It is because I do not have support from my administration and some teachers a being ass h*les.
I need to believe that I am a good teacher. I know I am a good teacher, but I believe I am so stupid, so naive, so  unprepared. I neber react on time, it takes me so  long to know what I am going to say after they do something.
I feel idiot. I feel retarded, with all my education, I feel bad.

[Ami]

I know from my two sons going to high school, that the teachers were always tested, as to how "tough" they were. It was a rite pf passage,in a way.
 The kids do this, like animals . It is like the dog or wolf pack. It is sad ,but it is true. If the kids see that they CAN manipulate you, they  WILL. Why? I am not sure.
 When I was a kid, it was not this bad. for sure.
 My sons would tell me about teachers who were not strict enough and how the kids treated them poorly.
 I think that a teacher today has to be tougher than in previous times.
 It is wrong ,but a fact of life, I think.
 Compost what does not fit.           Ami

[Lupita]

Deam it!! Ami, you are so fricking right!!!!

It is true what you just said.

But, it is not my answer, or is it? Because I am very successful with the other classes. If being weak would be my problem, I would have problems with all the classes.

Maybe I am not weak, but I am not tough enough for the sixth period. They need somebody more astute and tough.

But, when I try to be tough with them, I am accused of not loving teaching of not loving kids. That does not happen with the other classes.

It is deam if I do deam I I dont, no matter what I do they complain. The sixth period. These are difficult kids, with narcissistic traits and I do not know whow to deal with them.

A girl a touching a boy inapprorpiatly and I tell her keep your hands for your self, and she says, what are you talking about?

I cant write her up, beause the other boy will say that she was not. It is like a little maffia of kids.

I dont want to work there and I dont want to work in a similar place and I want to work with younger kids, more impressionable.

Easily entertained, movies, puppets, etc. For my reach older kids everything is "retarded".

For me the Spanish teaher. If it is government teacher or English teacher etc, they think is interesting.

[Leah]

Hi Lupita,

I left out ........ that they clearly took advantage of you, Lupita

for their own game and fun ..... that's what some, not all, teenages tend to do.   To see how far they can go, sometimes.

It matters not to them that you are a person, to them, you represent authority and they simply want to "kick-off at authority"

I suppose, as a teacher, detachment has to be a vital part of the role of teacher.

I admire your strength in doing the work you do, as a teacher.

Love, Leah

[Lupita]

Thank you so much for your kind words Lea. You are so right.

I am adding some parts of the Detachment thread that I can adapt to my problem.

The first step to detachment is to "shrink" the unhealthy person. Make the person a smaller part of your life by making other parts of your life bigger.

Adding things to your life automatically reduces the space taken up by unhealthy people and relationships. Expand your horizons. Occupy your mind with new ideas. The unhealthy person will occupy a smaller portion of your mind, and therefore your life.

I will make many activities one after the other so they do not have time to think about bothering me. This will be very time consuming and energy consuming but it is only eight more weeks.

They want to maintain the status quo.
Accept that these unhealthy people (students with narcissistic traits, backed up by their parents at all costs, and teachers encouraging them to be mean to me) will never grant their approval. (No, they will never grant their aproval, no mater what I do, if I do work seets, they complain, If I do transparencies on the over head they complain if I talk they complain if I do not talk they complain) This is a vital part of letting go. In fact, withholding approval is a most effective weapon to keep you enslaved. When you let go, and honestly don't care if they approve of you, they will have a hard time hiding their surprise. Watch as they mentally scramble to think of another tactic to keep you entangled. Realize that the other person's problem (students demanding to spoon fed knowledge with out doing anything on their part) is not yours. One of the hardest lessons to learn is that no matter how hard you try, you can never, ever, ever change how another person acts. The only thing you can change is your reaction to them. You can fight the guilt (and fear to lose your job, and they know they do inspire fear, because they have their parents in the school board) they inspire. You can take care of yourself.


The person you're detaching from can be very abusive. Often, the reward they seek is to see the hurt in your eyes and the feeling of power they receive from being the cause of that hurt.
Recognizing this fact will give you unexpected power. The verbal jab is blunted when you know it's only meant to hurt you. And you can deny them the pleasure they seek. Don't debate the point. They want to keep the topic going because they know it's hurting you. Think of the verbal jab as a spitball thrown at you. If you laugh, or pretend you didn't hear it, or do anything else instead of looking hurt, it's the equivalent of ducking and letting the spitball sail by. Shrug off the comment as lightly as possible, and then bring up a topic of your own -- one that you know is distasteful to your tormentor. Doing this will deny them their reward, and give negative reinforcement. Eventually, they will stop attacking you. Bullies like an easy target.

That is why they asked me to go to the ice cream shop. They enjoy rediculing me, because I show them I feel so bad. They enjoy. If I stop feeling bad they will have nothing to enjoy.

[Lupita]

I have to make the challenging students a smaller part of my mind, and focus on the good ones. I know it. ust does not appen. I will try when we come back from spring brake.

NO more parties for this group. Only chips and salsa. IN he classroom. Many activities, verses of the bible, poems songs, plus activities of the text book and work book, continuos, no stop.

I am on spring brake now, thank God will rest a few days.

[Ami]

Lupita,
 You have it exactly right. Different kids AND different classes need more OR less toughness. You are good with all your classes except the sixth period,one.
 I know Scott would tell me about a horrendous kid in his Spanish class, who would torment the teacher. Calvin is in jail now ,a common destination for the worst bullies.
 I bet you have a few Calvins and you just need a  tougher attitude for these few kids. You are doing well, Lupita. I can see it!     Ami