Confused?????????

[Michelle]

I am feeling really weird and confused lately with the unusual tone of things lately.  I haven't been on the board all that long, but things have never been this weird as far as I know.  I'm especially confused about all the "secret identity" accusations.  I'm really not feeling comfortable much here right now!!  Almost like my mother has entered my sacred healing ground!!!!!

Anyone else feeling confused and kind of out of sorts?

Bunny, Dawning, Flower, Portia, CG, MM, Les, Learning, Seeker, Sjkravill - would love to hear your input on this if you feel like it.  

Also, haven't seen Singer, Spirit, Morgan, Wildflower, or Write around lately....did the latest occurrences run them off?  Hope not!

Michelle

[Portia]

Hiya Michelle, you’re so cool! You are an inspiration to me you know. I don’t get on your threads coz – well, ya know. But you do inspire me.

I’m sorry. Sometimes things do get weird and sometimes it’s where I’ve been sticking my oar in. Things have been weirder than this, to me anyway. When I spot an itchy patch, I gotta scratch it until it bleeds and either heals, or goes to find somewhere else to irritate. My problem, I dunno, if it wasn’t me, someone else would do it I guess.

But Michelle it’s okay, it’s not your mother or mine! The board is an interesting place isn’t it? I love it, I really do. Coz I can’t afford therapy! Thank you Dr G.

(((((((((Michelle)))))))))

[les]

Thanks for drawing attention to this Michelle. I have felt uneasy myself. I can't quite understand it but think it has something to do with the proximity to so much being expressed on another thread. I don't know - for me perhaps it's like being a child again -duck and cover. Too much to handle.

That of course is not to say that people shouldn't be expressing themselves - but even in cyberspace people get scared and feel unsafe I guess.

I just got a book today called "Highly Sensitive People" - well, it really fits!

Les aka Nervous Nellie

[Michelle]

Portia - ME an inspiration?  I don't see that, but thanks for the compliment.     I'm glad it's not just me that felt the "weirdness".  I totally agree with scratching itchy patches to figure things out.  Great analogy there.  But there were a few spots where I was just in total confusion.  I just started feeling a little vulnerable I guess.  Especially with the whole sexual abuse thing - I really had a hard time even reading that post.  During one of my counseling sessions lately, my assignment was to write down a bunch of bad memories (that I can't let go of) to share with my counselor.  I had some that were so bad I couldn't even write them in my own handwriting.  I had to type them on the computer and even then I had the urge to throw up several times.    Guess I'm still holding on to a lot of things that I'm not aware of.  Counseling is helping though.  I agree about the board.  I get equally as much here (if not more sometimes) than I do from counseling.  I love the board - especially the people, like you, that I have really come to feel fondly about, trust, and look up to.  (((((((((((((((Portia))))))))))))))  



Les - I agree.  I think some of us did so much of the "duck and cover" defenses as a child that it feels VERY threatening to experience it - even as adults.  I agree that expression is important though.  However, I feel that someone like somebody came to the WRONG place to bring her load of crap.   Thanks for the book recommendation - will definitely check that one out!  Hugs to you, Les!  

[bunny]

There was one thread that was disturbing....the one by Somebody. Unfortunately, intrusions and counterattacks occur on newsgroups now and then. But it seems to have died down.

bunny

[Dawning]

Dear Michelle,

I agree with Bunny.  

Also, whenever there is an unmoderated open forum like this, we'll get various sorts - some (not all, certainly) who seem suspect in taking responsibility for their own healing.  On this forum, anyone can join or leave at any time.   However, I think it would be the same in a face-to-face group as well.  Occassionally, someone may appear that will trigger our feelings of fear and make the group feel unsafe.  On the Internet, those feelings become even more pronounced, perhaps because we can't physically *be* together (unless you are interested in joining up for the Cook Islands retreat.   ...just a little levity.)  

Basically, I have felt more safe here than less safe.   I hope this has helped.  You are a treasure on this board too, M.     <<<<Hugs>>>>

[Michelle]

Bunny and Dawning -

Thanks for your replies.  I'm not sure why I was so bothered by it.  I guess I have been a little on edge lately with things going on in my life and it just added to my uncertainty / confusion.  

I appreciate your views on the issue.

Cooks Island?  Sounds relaxing!  

Michelle