Iphi, I understand you so much so much. I did not even have any boudaries, I did not even know what boundaries were. Ecrybody would setp on me, and tresspass my boundaries and then I would feel bad and not knowing why.
I still do not identify my boundaries very well, but improving. That is part of loving your self.
It worked. All this spring brake I was in intensive therapy on my own. Bought a bunch of CDs and listen for hours and hours, every single day. One day I was listening for eleven hours consecutively.
It works. Today I felt nausiated to see my dirty kitchen, I went and washed all my dishes, did not want to go to work leaving my kitcen dirty. I never did that before. I wanted to have a clean kitchen, for the first time in many years. I wanted to see a clean kitchen and got up at five, put my CD and lsiten to it while cleaning my ketchen. I did not feel any desire to eat any sugar, just my vegatables and tofu. I was not deperately hungry at any tie during today.
It works. Those CDs, work. But you have to listen all day for several days for at least one month. I put them on my car in my computer, and listen to it today one hour before work and one hour going to work and one hour coming from work. I am memorizing them, I will be able to recite them.
My friend on the phone told me that is very amazed that how can I recover after so much has happened to me. And I still want to feel good. The CDs. Work. They work.
They sink in my brain little by little.
Love to you all.