An Article for those of us with controlling Nmoms

[tayana]

I just found this.  I really like this article.  It puts things in perspective for me, like I need to concentrate on cultivating love in other places besides my family--or at least with my parents.  I have a great girlfriend, an awsome son, and a houseful of pets.  That's a lot of love, think I'll just concentrated on that for a while.

Here's the article:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Controlling-Mothers:-Cutting-the-Apron-Strings&id=385159

[gratitude28]

Sure-to some degree, she wants you to be happy, but every time she gets angry, she's telling you that what she wants is more important to her than what you want.

I have to say I am not sure they even have a degree of wishing we were happy. I think they like it when we are unhappy. Then they feel superior.

It's a good article, Tayana. Thanks!

[Gaining Strength]

I have a great girlfriend, an awsome son, and a houseful of pets.  That's a lot of love, think I'll just concentrated on that for a while.

OMG Tayana - That sounds great.  How amazing that when you really needed it, you found this article.  That's incredible and very encouraging.

I love this sentence from the article.

The world is literally dying from a lack of the one thing essential for our happiness—Real Love. We spend our entire lives trying to replace that unconditional love with praise, power, sex, money, entertainment, safety, and so on. But it never works, and the resulting emptiness and fear are almost too much to bear.

I can really see that.  It helps me understand part of the world dynamics that are so hard to understand but aren't exactly N.

[Juno]

Thank you for sharing this article.  It puts things so clearly.  They can't give what they don't have.  Just like a starving person can't give you food even though you are starving too.  Really good article.

[Hopalong]

Although it's colored by my current crisis, I too have come to doubt whether my Nmother and Nbrother love me at all.

I think there's a little piece of my mother that periodically cared about me. Absolutes are probably unhelpful.

But in my brother's case, his ruthlessness and willingness to rip my life apart show me that all his demonstrations of "helpful brother" are pure smoke.

(I just discovered he stole copies of my mother's tax returns. Who knows what else is missing...)

Hops