Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Writing my mother
Anonymous:
Michelle,
You aren't an orphan. Your mother still exists and wants to hear from you. BUT SHE WON'T BECAUSE OF REASONABLE CONDITIONS THAT SHE NEEDS TO MEET FIRST. It's her choice.
{{{Michelle}}}
bunny
Michelle:
Thanks for your support everyone. Just taking some time to be sad about this whole situation. Kind of hard to realize the facts from my mother's own mouth.
Talk more soon,
Michelle
Portia:
Hiya Michelle. Would it help to say I look at it this way sometimes – my mother is so unwell that her need to be false is much greater than any ability or need to feel emotion for another?
My mother requires her reality, she needs her reality, to remain her version of sane, I guess.
She can’t step outside it without risking deep ego wounds. She probably feels subconsciously this is a life or death thing. Wound the fragile ego and the body/mind (of a dependant baby) will die.
Does that make sense? I guess it’s down to understanding and then acceptance again. Acceptance is real hard eh? Grieving is good. Then a bit more anger (but not as much each time), more grieving, more acceptance. A cycle of getting better, mental growth and mental health.
Note to self: acceptance is real hard. You’re great Michelle. :D P
Michelle:
That does make sense, thanks Portia. I think your comment "My mother is so unwell that Her need to be false is much greater than any ability or need to feel emotion for another" was right on. It is just so so so so so hard to accept. I am working on it but that darn little voice (much smaller than it used to be at least) keeps saying "but maybe one day........................................" :twisted: I know it won't happen. I guess the more I go through the "cycle", the smaller the little voice gets. :roll:
Good to see you around these parts. :wink:
((((((((Portia))))))))))))
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---Just taking some time to be sad about this whole situation. Kind of hard to realize the facts from my mother's own mouth.
--- End quote ---
Hi Michelle. The grieving part is necessary and taking time is healthy. I don't know if this will help but on the tape "Warming The Stone Child," (which I listened to again this week) Clarissa said that what is missing in the unmothered child is guidance. And that there is also a light in the unmothered child that will never go out. And it is this light that gives us our amazing powers of intuition. Now, we need to learn to give guidance to ourselves. She says that the first thing to do is to be "good and decent to yourself." It sounds like you are doing that. Good for you, Michelle. I know you'll make it through this.
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