Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Writing my mother
flower:
Michelle,
--- Quote ---Guess I'm officially an orphan
--- End quote ---
I feel for you, Michelle :cry:
------------------------------------------------------
Thanks so much for your insight and support.
It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiates 3:1
------------------------------------------------------------
(((((((((((((Michelle)))))))))))))))
You are being very brave!!
Dawning:
Hi Michelle.
Thanks for sharing those emails and replies. Your writing is great. Hers is sadly family-iar.
This thread, sad as it is, is an *inspiration* because it points out just what these NPD mothers are like. And the courage of you, Michelle, in dealing with it with such honesty and integrity. I know it is sad now but I'll bet - after a few days - you might just feel like a huge burden has been lifted.
I hope your life takes off in exciting new directions without her. I am on that precipice too. I was hoping (really, hoping) my evil mommie witch had decided to take a break from *me* and my "complexities" - for good - but, unfortunately, I got an email from her today. :evil: More than evil, actually, I am afraid of the pain involved in standing up to mine. But I feel it is leading to this and your thread highlights ALOT.
One thing that really stands out for me is the lack of anger/emotional fragility/hysteria in your writing. If you feel comfortable, would you mind sharing any techniques you have for getting yourself in the frame of mind to write such calm and to-the-point letters and replies - in a way that she cannot see your insecurities. For one thing I know about my N regime - as soon as they sense even one, tiny little insecurity in me- that is when they go for the jugular. :twisted: So I always face writing or dealing with them with a great deal of trepidation.
Anyway, I hope you have a GREAT August, Michelle.
Anonymous:
Hi Michelle,
I am so proud of you. These email communications to your mother are dead on and so well written. I think you have found your voice and I am so happy for you.
--- Quote ---Guess I'm officially an orphan.
--- End quote ---
Oh Michelle...here I am so sad for how you must be feeling. :( I wish I could give you a big hug. It is such a sense of loss. I hope that you will have the time and space to grieve this loss. I hope you can take your time, nurture yourself, heal your wounds. And I hope that you continue to parent yourself the way you have been doing.
Keep taking care of Michelle! (and then teach me how to do it :D )!
Mega Hugs!
Learning aka Lisa (I just can't be so impersonal when sharing such important stuff! :) )
Learning:
Sorry, I keep forgetting to log in.
Anonymous:
Hi Michelle,
Just want to join the others here in cheering you on. Your maturity is really admirable.
After three years, I am now bumping into my pretty bizarre NSIL a bit more frequently. I am asking myself "well, have I put the pain behind me?" I think the answer is yes. Then I need to ask myself "so, do you think you can reconcile or want to?" I think the answer is both yes and no. I want to (the old "wouldn't-it-be-nice?") but don't think I can or should. I am not hanging onto the pain or anger, just the truth. Her way of interacting with the world is incompatible with me and my family. And as my H reminded me yesterday "She has serious boundary issues that aren't going to go away." Your exchange helps me with my struggle with establishing and holding newer boundaries.
When I read your mother's messages, her tone seems so infantile and it reminds me of a great line in the older family movie "Overboard". "When you have a baby, you can't be the baby anymore." Your tone is firm and so mature and respectful of your new boundaries. It doesn't blame, just shines light on the truth. Good for you!! Thanks for posting. It will give a lot of us a model to work from. Hugs, Seeker
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version