Question for Dr. G

[lighter]

Hops.... if he suggests a meeting by e mail.... remind him that he's the one who recognized how innapropriate a social relationship would be. 

That was your understanding, right?

You don't have to inject negativity into that message.  Just that you understood, agree and that's your decision too.

You're an adult and you have the right to set boundaries and have them recognized and repsected.

Why is it so hard for some of us to feel any entitlement to healthy boundaries and respect of same?

Not sure.... but better figure it out and fix it quick.

(((Hops)))

[Leah]

Well said, Ann. And I will.
Let this thing die.

thank you.
Hops

Dear Hops,

I would take Ann's wise words on board. 

Maybe, no contact is the best option, for both of you.

Love to you,

Leah

[Hopalong]

Ooops. My heartfelt emails from that night ("you misunderstood me, I was only fantasizing about love and making you happy" -- OOPS) which I assumed were a farewell, had the opposite effect.

He wrote back, you want to make me happy? Tell me how it works...

(I had actually kind of thought, after that date, ummm, this isn't someone I feel brave enough to take on...)

But I wrote him about my own process, with a particular emphasis on how my church community has increased my personal happiness over the years.

So now he's written that he'd like to go with me Sunday.

I don't know how to refuse that. So I want to be gracious but also not encourage him to think we're marching forward still toward romance. Now, I think if it's anything, it should be friendship. I'm always happy to talk about spirituality with people and I'd love for him to find solace and community there as I have.

It just feels awkward. I guess I'll be friendly and agree to share church, but without the couple assumptions. Oy oy. I guess I can't control what he's thinking and just need to give the clearest message I can.

Watch out for what one wishes for. One just might get it and then what the heck does one do?

help,
Hops