I crossed someone’s boundary today--

[Izzy_*now*]

It was interesting to catch it and observe the reaction of a 'normal' person with boundaries.

I go to the same checkout gal in the market and today handed her my canvas bag for the groceries. I had another one hanging on the back of my chair with room for more groceries, and asked for them, implying there was not enough room in my first bag.

She is so pleasant. Not particularly pretty, but her attractive attitude makes her attractive…and fun…middle-aged, frizzy hair, teeth a bit crooked, but as nice as can be…oozes fun….and said, “Now. Now. I know what I’m doing. You just never mind.” as nice as could be and I said, ”Oh my! I crossed a boundary, didn’t I?” and she just smiled pleasantly and said “Yes”.

All my purchases fit into the one bag. She knew what she was doing! I am not a grocery packer, so I must keep my place.

[Hopalong]

This is my goal in life.

To ooze fun, even if I become a grocery checker.

Bless 'er.

Hops

[Izzy_*now*]

Oh Boy! Hops

Mine too, and doing it with the grace and fun! If I weren't into tackling boundaries. I never would have picked it up, and if I were a control freak I would have insisted on using the second bag, or if I were totally lacking in self-esteem, I might have been offended.... to more or less "miind my own business", then never gone through her checkout again, then maybe stalked her and blew up her house

You know this gives me more insight into reactions to a situation than ever before.  Really Really!

(Well ..................I more ore less ooze mishchief!)

Love
Izzy

[gratitude28]

I catch myself doing this too, Iz. It is good you brought it up!!! I will have to think more on where I do this in my day-to-day existence.
Love, Beth

[Izzy_*now*]

Hi Beth,

Good!

It was very enlightening to see her full of confudence and stating her 'way'..... and I thought I was being a help but I was only a 'nuisance'.

I am so anxious to watch for others in different lines of work.

It is very educational for us and boundaries.

Love
Izzy

[lighter]

It's like a breath of fresh air to be around people who appropriately set and maintain boundaries.

Good thread Izz.

[Izzy_*now*]

It really is, lighter,


...and I plan on being more observant in the future about others' boundaries because their boundaries could be anything......
and can be very helpful to watch how they enforce them.

...and it is amazing as well to see/hear someone who has no boundaries,,, and will take all kinds of sh*t without even knowing it!

[lighter]

Amazing....

and I think I used to be one of those people: (

[Juno]

Izzy--going to the POST OFFICE may give you further boundary opportunities.  Not sure how post offices are set up in Canada.  I work as a window clerk in the US and my boundaries are violated daily.  I suspect part of it is envy over how much we are paid.  Or because people think our pay comes from their taxes (it comes from sales of postage only).  And it is hard work which most people wouldn't be willing to do for any less than we make.

I am continually amazed at the number of people who try to tell me how to sell postage or tell me that they never use customs forms for foreign parcels.  When just the opposite is true.

When I learned my job, there was so much to learn (and most of it didn't make any sense or have any parallels in the real world), I thought I would never learn it.  So, how does someone who has never used my computer or been behind the counter know more than me?????  I do make mistakes, but in seven years I think I have picked up some knowledge.

And yesterday a man told me three times that I should have my pay cut so the postage wouldn't go up by one penny on May 12th.  He wouldn't stop saying it until I reacted.  My reaction was a calm, "Well, then how will I pay my bills?"  But I was not calm inside.

Most people are considerate.  The few who are not, are doozies!!!

[Izzy_*now*]

hi Juno

It would appear that trying to tell someone how to do his/her job can be a common transgression. We who have beeen trained on what we do, as was my store clerk, have a right to nor be harrassed about how we do it. and if we are then we speak up!

I am in the Post Office about once every 2 months to buy postage. (Our stamps now have no value printed on them, so if one has overpurchased and the rate goes up, the leftovers are accepted at the new rate--no more running out for 20-1 cent stamps.

I take things as they are , rates etc, and never have complained but I think that likely we have our complainers in Canada, too, and think they are paying salaries from their own pockets.

The store where I deal, is  just a little shop and sells gifts and cards as well. I used to take over 200 Newletters in to be mailed. I would pay the Postage and then every time the clerk would say to just leave them and someone would apply the postage for me. They have always been so nice.

Thanks for your input

xx
Izzy

[Sugarbear]

It's always so weird to me when I see health boundaries in action. It is such a foreign concept.

I'm always amazed at how easy they make it look to set and maintain healthy boundaries.

[Overcomer]

So many people I work with do not have good boundaries.  Dysfunction is the name of the game.  I am swimming in it.   i will keep an eye out myself-this will be good practice.