I've decided to re-write my past. I'm going to take every bad memory I have involving my NPs and rewrite it the way I wished it it been or the way it would have been healthy for me. There are so many things I love that I am blocked from doing because of some intense fear. This rewriting, my therapist says, is a good way to nurture myself. It will show I have the capacity of a "good" parent inside me, something I've feared for a long time. I mean, I've feared I didn't have it. It won't be a chronology or in any kind of order, and it may be just snippets of my past, strung together. But I am going to do it.
My friend that I am living with has become very depressed and it's affecting me. I am trying to hold myself separate, to maintain my boundaries and keep my "zipper on the inside". It's hard.
towrite