Dear Ami -- I could relate with all that you wrote. My NM was similar....the feelings that went along with my NM's disrespect for my boundaries were anger and frustration. But then, of course, if I was to express my anger and frustration I would be left with confusion, self-doubt and shame; I would have been made wrong for wanting respect and privacy, or my own healthy private world.
If we are not used to settting boundaries it can be frightening but the more you do it, even after the 1st time, our boundaries will immediately become stronger.
Just look at my roommate situation. The moment that I decided that I was not going to let my roommate bully me, no matter what the cost, she just up and moved as if she knew, or subconciouly picked-up that I could not be pushed over and intimidated anymore -- boundaries are silent too.
My own NMom is a bit more difficult...one boundary for certain is that I do not let her into my thoughts.
((((((Ami))))) Good topic, thanks.
Lise
