Something positive

[Gaining Strength]

I am setting a goal of writing something positive that I have done for my healing today.

It is ridiculous how hard that is.  I could write a book on the things that went wrong today but I'm stuck on what went right.  Time to reverse that. 

I fixed a nice nutritious dinner tonight before my son's baseball game.  I used my book on favor to help me get through some fear, anxiety and negative thoughts.

OK that's a start.  Now I plan to make an effort to add to this list until what I do positive is louder than the negative list.

[Hopalong]

Weekends are rough, GS...

I think it's all harder at this time, when one thinks of happy, relaxed people, couples or families, settling into their routines together.

Some wknds I'm happy, but many, I feel lonely.

hugs to you in case that's on your mind too,
Hops

[Gaining Strength]

Some wknds I'm happy, but many, I feel lonely.

hugs to you in case that's on your mind too,
Yes it is, you mindreader you.  Thanks for your kindness and thoughtfulness.
Happy weekend to you too!  I hope it includes a date for you.

your friend - Gaining Strength

[Ami]

Dear Kim,
 I am going through the exact same thing with my NM. I have always been disgusted and revolted by her. I hate everything in me that could be like her. My friend told me that I must embrace the parts of me that are like her. I felt better when he said that. It made sense.
 I have been "sick" ,in part,b/c I would not embrace any part of me that was like she .
 I have to embrace it all,Kim.
 I see you running from anything which is like your M, as I was.
 I wanted to share what I was going through,with you.
     Love   Ami

[Gaining Strength]

I mean am I going to allow myself to sink to that level?
NO.  Me either.

I am finally beginning to do what I read in a Wayne Dyar book a couple of years ago.  He writes about thanking someone for helping him learn patience - when that someone is a ssslllooowww person in front of him in line when he is racing to get somewhere.  Someone did something to me that was embarrassing and hurt my feelings and was a throw back to the way I was dismissed in my childhood.  I am tied into running into this person regularly for a while.  I wanted to write about it but it would violate my new policy so I had to find the positive aspect of this.  This person is teaching me to learn to "rise above" my sense of hurt and resentment. 

Now that's something to be thankful for.  I am also thankful that this thread on this board is holding me accountable. 

In time, I will be able to let go of wanting to complain and I will come to love finding the silver lining.  For now it just feels like I'm having to give up my favorite habit for Lent.  (Shhhh.  Don't tell me it's for real and for good.)

[Overcomer]

g-Can you tell me that cool you are reading on favor?  I need some happy thoughts to pull me up!  Lets see-It is Spring!  The flowers are peeking through.  My d made cheerleading so that is a good thing.  My H likes his new job-it is 20 minutes closer to home so that is 40 minutes worth of has a day we do not have to pay.  I had a mammo and I think that is ok.  We open the pool on May 8.  I go see my fav doc on May 3.  The Director from my new business will be here next Monday to help!

[Overcomer]

All positive things and pardon the typos.  GAS AND BOOK-NOT HAS AND COOL!

[Ami]

Ann said s/thing to me that really "offended" me. I thought Ann was just being a "jerk"(lol).However, I see she was right.
 She said that I did not have an attitude of thankfulness. I can see that she was right,but I could not see it before b/c my mind was too clouded with distortions.
 Ann can be brutally honest. I think her timing can be "off". However, I do appreciate her ,honestly, at some point.     Ami

[Gaining Strength]

Overcomer, here is a link to a blurb about the book on favor.  You may already have it in your store.

http://www.internationalbibles.com/catalog/books/whitaker/0883682516.htm

Listing good things is certainly a helpful practice but one of the things I like about his book is that it gives help in countering the dark and damaging responses that we give to people and actions that hurt us.  I found that simply listing good things did not help my keyed in responses or triggers to people or situations in my life.  I keep the book with me and when I begin to feel anxious I just get it out.

This morning at church some people came in who don't belong to our church.  These people have caused me and my brother's great harm and I panicked when I saw them and began planning an escape and feeling a hardness and anger so i picked up the book and read until i felt a calmness descend.

I continue to battle shame.  Each day more comes up for me to face and overcome.  Still a battle, still winning.

[debkor]

Hi GS,

Oh I like Wayne Dyar alot.  I had seen him on a public TV show.  He is so uplifting and a very funny guy.  I really need to remember when I'm at the bookstore to get his books.  Thanks for reminding me.   


Love
Deb

[ann3]

He writes about thanking someone for helping him learn patience - when that someone is a ssslllooowww person in front of him in line when he is racing to get somewhere.

This person is teaching me to learn to "rise above" my sense of hurt and resentment.

GS,

I do this, too.  It's wonderful, turned my world and my thinking around.  Guess this is what they mean by turning lemons into lemonade. 

I think this is wisdom:  Asking ourselves when we feel a negative feeling, "what lesson can be learned here?  I feel these negative feelings because I'm being triggered, what's triggering me and what can I learn from it?  patience & forgiveness.  So, thank you, annoying, slow person for helping me to learn about myself, be a better person & accept myself"

Maybe I learned this from Wayne Dwyar, I don't know, but it sure makes be feel better and then I feel happy for expanding my awareness.

xoxo,
ann

[Gaining Strength]

Oh my heavens Ann.  thank you so much for posting that.  It is so sweet to hear from someone who has chosen to change her ways of thinking.  I am so glad to know you do this and that it has been helpful.

Today I had a list of things I wanted to come here and complain about, legitimate complaints,  things I just wanted to air.  BUT then I remebered that this little thread is going to keep me honest to my commitment.  SO, I have to learn how to turn them around.  I haven't quite figured that out yet but I'll tell you this, it is changing my relationship with my son.  I don't get exasperated so easily with him and today he asked for some "us time" after baseball practice.  When it ended up that we never got time together to just have "us time" his crawled in my lap after his bath and said, "Mom, we didn't have our us time. Can we do it tomorrow?"  It feels so good to have my little one ask for "us time."

[Hopalong]

Re.

I feel these negative feelings because I'm being triggered, what's triggering me and what can I learn from it?  patience & forgiveness

I think in my childhood I used to always find the lesson of patience and forgiveness...

Now in the crucible with my brother I find that I can still summon compassion, but the NEW lesson is to learn sticking up for myself. I could tell he was startled that I'd gotten my own attorney, and especially that I changed the locks. When he wrote back to me (after my specific request that he stay elsewhere) that he was coming to stay in the house regardless, I believe my answer (I have changed the locks on my attorney's advice) likely startled him.

I think my positive lesson is: If there's one way to confront eNtitlement, it's confronting eNtitlement.

Hops

[gjazz]

GS:  This is a great thread.  I'm going to join you in turning those thoughts around.  Congratulations, love the "us" time, it makes it clear how quickly we can change relationships with just a little effort.  Take care.

[Gaining Strength]

Yes.  confronting eNtitlement is not powerless, not voiceless and does not hurt. That makes sense.  

I am trying to think of a comparable response or confrontation  to the triggers that I experience multiple times per day.  If I could confront them the way you confronted your brother then I would at last have a voice and move out of the wounding place of childhood.  When I am triggered, I am a child again with no defences, no way out.  But that is no so.  I now have defences and ways out and I must learn to use them more and more until I have overcome completely the wounds and triggers.

Thanks gjazz.  It is definitely an encouragement.