Welcome Pixie.
I am trying to figure out how to get the degrees of seperation that I need from my mother. I have been trying to deal with the double loss of a spouse and a parent, such as they are. I have found a good counselor that has been helpful. I feel as if I am finally getting myself back.
The last sentence really pops out! I'm so happy that you feel this way. Ditto on the first sentence and look forward to hearing from you about that. I've also just gotten out of a very unhealthy 6 year relationship with someone. I'm glad you found a "good" counsellor too. I think I have as well. The former one was creepy - she didn't recommend any kind of action even when I told her about some of the abuses of my ex-partner.
The hardest parts to deal with are the obession that my mother and ex have with each other.
I can imagine how hard this must be. My nmother had this too with my first long-term relationship. Because he came from a big roman catholic family, after our split-up he went into their fold ,otherwise, I am sure he would have been compelled to go to my nmother for support which she would have gladly given him. But I guess in nmother's mind, I don't deserve any support. I am just here to be *used.* NOT
You must be doing the right things -for you - if they are trying to reel you back in. That is what happens when we start getting healthier!!! Way to go, Pix. Nevertheless, it is sad to have to go though this crap with people who were supposed to love us and treat us well - esp parents.
Anyway, I am glad you see the dynamic. I'm glad you are seeing a counsellor and I am so glad you are *aware* of what is happening.
Best of Luck.
