A good example of ambient abuse is lighter's post here on my thread to hops....Basically what lighter does is try to stir things subtly so that when people do speak up, like me right now, she can point the finger back with excuses, justifications and blame all in an attempt to make the person feel crazy.
Of course, that is what abusers love to do is to make others feel crazy...because then they appear to others exactly the way the abuser wants them to appear...typical N strategy.
Of course no one would notice this except me and that is exactly her game. Bullies like to pick on people in private when no one can see or others won't step up to say anything because they are afraid...bullies love to intimidate.
Let me ask people something....how do you feel when someone shows up on your thread, who you know clearly does not like you, and responds to another poster as if you are not in the room.
It is sort of like the mean girls at high school ploy when they use exclusion and let's have a conversation and leave her out....type stuff.
Lighter -- stay off my threads unless you have something to say to me directly....my gut feels nauseated when I read or see posts by you.
Others, from time to time, connect with each other on different peoples threads and it is not in response the thread maker but I can tell when it is done with malice and when it is innocent....Lighter is far from innocent....just look at her past bullying behavior and the way Dr. G has had to warn her -- Once a bully, always a bully.
Lise