I don't know much about your background and family experience, but ... it can go any way, and it could go in a way that you could never predict, good or bad. The important thing is to take the risk, if you've had problems with being voiceless. Unless you know for sure that you will get abused.
I never said a lot to my family, but there was one night when I thought my father was going to lose all control and for the first time, break out in physical violence against me -- pummel into the ground. I had been homeless, waiting for an apartment to be finished, and, without any other even remote possibilities, went home. I didn't even last 24 hours until my dad flew into one of his rages.
Will spare you most of the story, but as he angrily followed me out of the house in his rage, literally stepping on my heels he was in such hot pursuit, whatever he said (I can't remember), for the first time in my life I screamed out at him that he'd never loved me and I never felt loved. Then he yelled that maybe I should go to a psychiatrist, and I yelled back maybe I already was. And then he followed me to my car, hung on to the open door; I tried to pull away but he still hung onto the car door, so I put the car in gear and drove down our driveway with him holding onto the car door and screaming at me (I don't remember what).
It was the first time I ever stood up to my father or said anything to him.
He told my mother she couldn't call me or talk to me. (Somehow we managed.) He didn't talk to me for 3 months. But in the meantime, my mom said that he was going to call me, sometime, just to wait.
And I did. I can't remember quite what or when because it was a long time ago.
I'll tell you this: that night was the beginning of my relationship improving with my father. Ever so imperceptably, he started moving closer and our relationship improved. It happened over a period of several years, and we didn't really become close until after my mother died -- but it showed me that he cared. He made the move(s) to get closer.
I never approached my mother, however, because I knew it was pointless. I knew I'd never get anything from her. She always looked like the "good one" compared to my father, but she was in fact much more subtle. I got very little from her and knew I never would, so I never talked to her or confronted her. Although my dad was loud and abusive, and hurt me, the things my mother did to me were far more hurtful. Just a lot more subtle.
My brother, I could have talked to about anything. But then again, I didn't have to worry about him. We were always close.
My sister loves me, but she's not very emotionally available. She's there in a very practical way, but the one or two times I've opened up and tried to talk to her, you'd think we'd grown up in two separate families (and in some senses we did). She's like Scarlet O'Hara: I'll think about that tomorrow. I think if she opens one door, she'd have to open a thousand, so she just keeps them all closed to keep the house of cards going.
So, I guess what I'm saying is it just all depends. If you have some sense of your family, and who you might get something from and who you might not, then you can take a somewhat calculated risk.
But, if you can do it, do it anyway, because you do it for yourself. You may not get what you want back from them; you may not get anything at all, or you may get abuse.
But you will have spoken up and used your voice, and that's the important thing. That's what you really get out of doing it, and it's priceless, whatever the consequence.
??? Let us know how you do, if you do it.
