Author Topic: Only 'changing' would understand.  (Read 3028 times)

Izzy_*now*

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Beer is living proof that God loves us
Only 'changing' would understand.
« on: May 07, 2008, 09:32:04 PM »
Hi all,

I am getting rid of things that are never used, and I'll never have closure with some.

I sold my engagement ring!

One is an Onyx Chess set that my daughter bought for me. I know she paid over $100.00 for it from her allowance and we played on it, but after she left to marry the N, it was never used, except for once with a young boy I 'sat' when his mother went out. Then I had chess on the computer and the whole world changed.

I have mentioned my addiction to DVD movies, and have 227. I must sell them, except for 5 I want to keep. I have no more room and am  making room as I don't plan on giving up on buying DVDs.

Sell my CDs
Sell my Cassettes
Sell my VHS tapes.

Funny how there is always someone interested in weird things.
I have advertised some things free.

I have advertised my good chinaware. Oh it is sad. It is Easterling of Canada's 'Starburst' that I bought 50 years ago at age 19 for my hopeless chest. There are 12 place settings, and each setting has 8 pieces. I used it when Joe brought Charlie home for dinner: two guys in construction, but they ate dinner on good chinaware. Joe is dead and I don't know where Charlie is. The chinaware followed me around then, from 1966 until now, and never used in 42 years

I packed it in Ontario , in 1998, and hope to hell the N didn't smash it around, as he knew what I liked/LOVED in my belongings.

The 3 boxes are still in my closet unpacked in 10 years.

I gave my daughter my good silverware for Xmas back in about'97? She didn't seem at all pleased...but I wanted her to have something I loved. 12 place settings for my 12 of chinaware. But she has it and maybe my granddaughter will get it....whatever.
Obviously living in an apt. everywhere, except my house for 12 years, I would never have had room for 12 for dinner. I was following what my 2 elder sisters did.

Oh yes and even bought the same cookware as my eldest sister. I've used that plenty, and still do, but Tefal came into being and there ya go!

'Changing' understood about getting rid of things, no matter what, if no longer used, and when she started, she called herself  'izzified'.

Izzy
« Last Edit: May 08, 2008, 01:23:51 PM by Izzy_*now* »
"The joy of love lasts such a short time, but the pain of love lasts one's whole life"

Leah

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2894
  • Joyous Discerner
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2008, 06:50:42 AM »

Hi Izzy,

I feel others here would understand, for example, I understand, especially, as I wrote a thread months ago  explaining my desire to "downsize" and clear out "unused and now unwanted" items, to include an Edwardian china full service set which had travelled much and was not unpacked, quite simply, no longer any pleasure in displaying / using it.

The wonders of "Ebay" as many people have a clear out and sell their "clutter" and "unwanted" items and recycle the money for some other use.  Or, pack them off to "Charity Shops."   As is ones choice and preference.

I understand the closure from getting rid of certain things as that has been my experience - immensely liberating.

Love, Leah
« Last Edit: May 08, 2008, 06:53:22 AM by LeahsRainbow »
Jun 2006 voiceless seeking

April 2008 - "The Gaslight Effect" How to Spot & Survive by Dr. Robin Stern - freedom of understanding!

The Truth About Abuse VIDEO

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8716
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2008, 08:58:38 AM »
Izzy.... don't know why but that post made me want to cry....

and give you a standing ovation, at the same time.

Shrugging off things that follow us around....


yes.

Wishing to gift our children things we've loved.....

yes.

Giving up the wish to control how they feel.....

 yup. 

Editing out the old, so their's room for the new....

::nodding::

Selling the chess set from daughter.... no longer used.....

my heart won't say yes to that. 

I want you to keep it and box it up, sturdy.

Will it to your grandaughter.... from her mother,

to you.....

and finally to her. 

My two cents.

I'm getting ready to Izzify my space, as well.

Lighter

ps  Chanqing's moving ahead with her legal struggles.  Hope she's out soon.


gratitude28

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2582
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2008, 10:36:33 AM »
Izzy,
I am right there with you. I am getting rid of stuff and consolidating. I have taken hundreds of books to the Used Book store, all our VHS tapes, tons of DVDs...
I need to go through the kids' clothes.
I need to go through the rest of the books.
I want to clean out all drawers.
I am going to 'test' all pens and markers and trsh any that are not good.
I want to get rid of everything, but that is not too practical, I guess.
Love, Beth
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

Izzy_*now*

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Beer is living proof that God loves us
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2008, 01:22:35 PM »
Oh thank you all

goody--no one thought I was ready to cash in me (giving away the favourite possessions, as the jeweler 'mentioned' when I sold my engagement ring)

If it is not being used, hasn't been touched, except to dust, in 2 years, you don't need it! Where did I hear that? One of those makeover shows probably.

I'm making room for more DVDs, that is all. The rest must go.

I first started with 'junk' things, el cheapos one could not sell, or not worth the waste of time trying, and that cleared out some rag tag little balls of wool, crochet thread, winebottle vases returned for 10-20 cents, about a year ago and it is a spring thing, eh? as here I go again. and there you all go!

I feel good when I keep things circulated, even if it's to the dump,
"The joy of love lasts such a short time, but the pain of love lasts one's whole life"

Certain Hope

  • Guest
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2008, 08:21:41 AM »
I feel good when I keep things circulated, even if it's to the dump,


I like this.
Will keep it in mind as I de-stagnate some old paperwork later today.
There's quite a volume of it from my kids old school "files" which really is unnecessary at this stage. I need to go through and weed out all but the highlites, saving those in a couple transparent storage boxes purchased yesterday.

Getting attached to material things is not my m.o. Saw my mother do that for a lifetime and so I've had to approach this from the other side... working toward getting beyond my distaste for stuff. Thankfully, living in a small house has forced some measure of minimalization, so there's not much opportunity to get swamped in possessions. But my walls and shelves are too cluttered for my taste, with various knick-knacky stuff (mostly wooden objects made by my dad). I'd dearly love to box some of those up, but it would be done with the idea of never re-opening those boxes and I'm not quite ready for that.

Thanks for the opportunity to spell this out, Izzy. Enjoy your house-cleaning!

Carolyn


SilverLining

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 370
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2008, 12:24:41 PM »


I understand the closure from getting rid of certain things as that has been my experience - immensely liberating.


That's been my experience as well.  I have sort of a love/hate relationship with "stuff".  It's fun to shop and find new things, but after they have been sitting around for awhile gathering dust they aren't of much interest.  So what's the point of keeping them around?  If I can get them out recirculating in the world, and hopefully get some money in return, then I'm better off and the other person can have the thrill of getting something new to them. 

Just last week I was auctioning off some stuff and a woman asked me how I could possibly part with some item she admired.  Well I had it a year, learned something about it, and then it was time to let it go, and I got more than  paid for it so it was a no lose deal IMO.

One suggestion I read somewhere for people who have trouble parting with stuff is to take pictures of it and keep just the pictures.  Then they can enjoy the memory of the item AND have the money or the freedom afforded by not having too much clutter.  I do something similar with books.  Instead of keeping them forever, I just keep a reference list of the books read, and then if I ever need to see them again, I'll just borrow from the library. 

Izzy_*now*

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Beer is living proof that God loves us
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2008, 01:37:59 PM »
Hi SL
Quite a number of years back, I thought it was great to collect books, so liked them as gifts.

Oh how we change--packing them to move was a mess. I donated them to the Library and planned on another collection, but changed my mind and now I borrow from the Library.

What a neat idea? Who invented that borrowing thing , and when?
"The joy of love lasts such a short time, but the pain of love lasts one's whole life"

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13656
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2008, 01:52:57 PM »
My Izzification is stalled again, dang it.

I think it's because I feel anxiety over soooooooo much paperwork. It's so much legal stuff, documents about my mother, weighty feelings of responsibility to be a good steward not only of my own finances, but of hers too, and make wise decisions and file everything sensibly and not be caught short by something the lawyer needs in my battle with my brother and on....

So. It's piling up again. Uggh.

I will think of that great Steel Magnolias when she yells: TAWANDAAAAA!

But mine will be IZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

(And a whole lotta GS's thrown in for rhythm.)

I miss Changing too.

love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5455
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2008, 03:46:01 PM »
There's a great thing here in the states, Iz - it's called Freecycle. I think you can find it online - and for all I know, there's chapters in Canada now. (If not, maybe you could start one!) If you have something you don't want you post it... and it has to "free to good home"; it's not an online flea market. Anyway, people who need things for free contact the person offering... and arrange to come get it.

Might be a good thing for some of us clearing out stuff, because Goodwill's gotten pretty picky about what they will or won't accept. And then, too, there's the time involved in boxing/bagging things up and making the run.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

SilverLining

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 370
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2008, 05:07:55 PM »

Oh how we change--packing them to move was a mess. I donated them to the Library and planned on another collection, but changed my mind and now I borrow from the Library.


Hi Iz.  I went through the same process.  Used to buy about a book a week when I was younger.  Then after hauling those 75 pound boxes from house to house for years, I finally saw the light of the library.  Now I actively resist acquiring books, even if they only cost a dollar.  Why spend a buck when the library can get anything for free?   

Now I'm feel motivated to weed through what I have left once again.. :)

Anybody thinking about selling books might want to check out the Amazon.com selling feature.  I've sold a lot of out of print books for more than I paid. 

nogadge

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2008, 11:47:52 AM »
It's "funny" how the exs' in life hone into the trappings and things of life you cherish to destroy/mame/and tear apart...even if it's themselves to teach you what ever lesson they feel  is necessary that you are deserving of.  Mine was fine lils painted by Al MIller. acrylics by Sebring, my wedding pictures, kitchen/cooking tools. and my belief in our love for each other.....nogadge

lostkitten

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 40
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #12 on: May 14, 2008, 12:11:52 PM »
I too have the need to get of things. After seeing my NM's house after over 15 yrs. A huge two story home with only barely passable trails through it. The rooms are staked nearly to the ceilings.  I don't want that for me or to leave for my kids. Even things that belonged to her that I used to want - I don't now. I don't want anything that was hers. I also want to get rid of a lot of memory triggering things.

One of my nephews who wanted to help her, like maybe rent a storage unit so she could go visit her stuff. He also suggested taking pictures of everything and she could look at the pictures now and then. Won't happen, she is a hoarder.

I have used Freecycle a number of times, there are Free cycle groups on Yahoo for most towns across the country. It's really great.

Here is a great website also with hints for clearing out:

http://www.flylady.net/pages/begin_babysteps.asp

http://www.flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_Decluttertips.asp

Here to the best of luck to all of us on this project :)

lostkitten
« Last Edit: May 14, 2008, 01:53:21 PM by lostkitten »
Lost Kitten

Count your SMILES instead of your TEARS, count your COURAGE instead of your FEARS!


Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes.......Seeks Frog

lostkitten

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 40
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2008, 01:50:34 PM »
Here is a link to free cycle to find a group near you.
It is so wonderful to give your stuff to a new home.

http://www.freecycle.org/

Best of wishes,
lostkitten
Lost Kitten

Count your SMILES instead of your TEARS, count your COURAGE instead of your FEARS!


Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes.......Seeks Frog

Izzy_*now*

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Beer is living proof that God loves us
Re: Only 'changing' would understand.
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2008, 06:58:47 PM »
thanks lk

I crocheted since I was 18---OH SO many things-- and am now finished.

A young girl picked up all my pattern books (they are expensive now), my hooks and a cute wicker basket that I used. It was what contained a fruit basket from my people at work when I was in hospital for tumour surgery at age 20, so it's something I could never throw out, as well as the crocheting material.

She was so happy with everything and I know it will be used, as opposed to just throwing in the garbage.

I have 35 DVDs going tomorrow afternoon. That leaves me more space...............for more
"The joy of love lasts such a short time, but the pain of love lasts one's whole life"