Escape Plan Update

[Overcomer]

Really?  I was sad to think that she did not think I was qualified but relieved that I would not get in over my head.  But could I work for someone else?  I have been in charge for so long-except for my mom that I do not know how it would be to be at the mercy of someone else and especially if they are a lot younger than I.  What do you all think?

[Overcomer]

Really?  I was sad to think that she did not think I was qualified but relieved that I would not get in over my head.  But could I work for someone else?  I have been in charge for so long-except for my mom that I do not know how it would be to be at the mercy of someone else and especially if they are a lot younger than I.  What do you all think?

[Hopalong]

I think you can, Kell, if you remember to NOT make it a personal relationship.

Kudos on this step...it's a GOOD thing!

love,
Hops

[Overcomer]

Well I will walk this path as long as it takes me.  I will not jump unless I feel it is a really good fit.  But she did say that there would be advancement opportunities which I do not have at work-unless my mom really leaves.

[Izzy_*now*]

Hang in there OC

Think positively about the job. If you are not qualified for one, then it's best you don't take it and feel overwhelmed.

You need a job for which you are qualified. Being qualified and learning company procedure, it all soon falls into place, and to hell with a supervisor being younger. I have seen much of that!

Inasmuch as there is a younger supervisor, she must have earned the job, been qualified and more power to her.

Yes, you have been in charge for so long, but when hired and presented with a new job, you will require help/input from your co-workers as to how things work. That is a chance to 'bond' with someone. I think all people love to show a new person how the job goes.................well my exoerience, and I always asked if I didn't know/remember something.

I really hope you can get away! You will end up with brand new "fellowshio" with co-workers and a feeling of really being useful and not put down.

I really wish you well
Love
Izzy

[Ami]

Dear Kelly,
 I feel  positve about it. Let me know what happens. I am sending good thoughts and wishes  your way.   Love   Ami

[Juno]

With me, if the person is decent, I don't have a problem with them being younger.  Bosses are not always decent, though.  Of course.  I would say, if you get the lesser job, just play it by ear.  You definitely recognize red flags when you see them by now.  Maybe at the interview you could ask for a tour and maybe get a chance to meet the others and see what kind of impression they make on you.  Or if it is a panel interview the person you would be working for would be there and asking you questions.  You would pick up the vibe that way.

That's a really good concern you have there about not being in charge in this situation.  But it might be a foot in the door for you.

[Hopalong]

A foot in the door is all you need, Kelly.
Because it's a foot OUT of the door of the trap you've been in...

Just please please remember your supervisor, whether 12 or 200, is not your mother, but is absolutely guaranteed 100% to be an imperfect person with some aspects you won't care for.

Remember you aren't choosing this person from across a crowded room to appreciate you more than you've ever been appreciated by anyone before...they're just the boss.

You aren't searching for mother love that will heal the wounds and frustration you've been through all these years...they're just the boss.

You aren't finding a venue at last in which your true brilliance and capability will be instantly recognized and eternally celebrated....they're just the boss.

Etc.

It could be a wonderful, healing thing to do a straightforward job with all your confidence and knowledge of life. And to learn new things, and find new ways of relating and succeeding in the world.

I think you'd be very successful as a sales manager. I hope you get it. And the younger person who is your supervisor might be a very decent person who is glad to have a competnet, smart, and experienced woman on her team. (Making the boss look good helps YOU look good.)

lots of hugs,
Hops

[Ami]

Thinking of you, Kelly. I think a business would be fortunate to have you, very. It is a huge decision b/c you have been in a certain situation, however bad, for a long time.
 You are going forward ,exploring your options, in a smart way.You are being "proactive". I am waiting to  hear . Love   Ami

[Overcomer]

Well, I was feeling rather sick about it.  I felt punched in the stomach but then I realized I felt rejected and that was all.  I would never want to get in over my head and not perform well and have them riding me all the time.  So I decided I would go into the store and try to get a vibe.  I walked in and the store was full of customers.  The employees were helpful.  I bought a book - Legends of the Fall - love the movie thought I would read the book.......

I liked everything I saw and felt good about it so I emailed the HR person and told her about my experience and that if they offered the job to the present Sales Manager that I would be interested in pursuing the Sales Manager position.  Then I realized, the way I function at my job is how the Sales Manager functions for this company.  So what if I take a $5000 a year cut.  I have been making the same salary for the past 8 years.  In eight years at the new job I would probably be the District Manager!!!   So we will see!!!!!!

[Hopalong]

In eight years at the new job I would probably be the District Manager!!!

THAT'S OUR KELL!!!!!!!!!!!

(But it would probably be 4 years.)   

Good for you, Kelly!
That's a winning attitude and you just rock.

love to you,
Hops

[Overcomer]

Boy I go back and forth back and forth......I really want my Vision For Life business to boom so I do not have to work outside the home at all........but maybe if I leave the store and go to work for the national chain at least I will have a reprieve from my mother!!!  If my v4l business goes then I could quit there and my sanity would be in tact. 

I went to Alice Miller's website and boy, I think I was abused!!  My dad is the one who keeps trying to get me to just accept my mom.  I need an ally dad, not someone who supports the NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

Oh, I got an email from the HR person and she said, TERRIFIC I will let the DM know you are interested in the Sales Manager position!!!

[Ami]

Dear Kelly
 I am so excited that you went to the Alice Miller website. We cab heal this way together, if you want. It is real healing,IMO, not false BS "talk".
 I am more and more angry at "regular" therapy which is BS(IME). I am angry, as you can tell. I have had way too much regular therapy and got worse, not better.
 Also, Janov's book , The Primal Scream is wonderful! The first chapter is about how we become 'unreal". I have been unreal since 14.
  My F,now,IS supporting me, which is a shock, but welcome.Your job prospect sounds  good, Kelly. Am I understanding it right?                                                                               
       Love   Ami

[Overcomer]

She told me that she would pass my wishes to be considered as Sales Manager to the District Manager.  She ended the sentence with an exclamation point which usually means excitement, right???  I cannot help but feel sorry for my mom if the bookkeeper and I both leave..............but you make your bed.................go lie in it!!!

Sometimes all this therapy just makes me worse, I think.  Everytime I hear of some injustice to one of us by our Ns it just makes me angry.  I am sick of being angry all the time!!  I am going to go google The Primal Scream............

[Ami]

Dear Kelly
 The job looks promising . The Alice Miller website will help you have the strength to leave, if you do. Alice  is an Enlightened Witness(hears the pain and is there) to us, as abused kids(still inside us)
 It is very strengthening,IME.
 I think you will go on a good track ,once and for all, with these tools, Kelly, as I am.    Love    Ami