Author Topic: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma  (Read 2979 times)

teartracks

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Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« on: June 04, 2008, 06:15:15 PM »

Hi everyone,

Abstract

Betrayal Trauma: Traumatic Amnesia as an Adaptive Response to Childhood Abuse


Betrayal trauma theory suggests that psychogenic amnesia is an adaptive response to childhood abuse. When a parent or other powerful figure violates a fundamental ethic of human relationships, victims may need to remain unaware of the trauma not to reduce suffering but rather to promote survival. Amnesia enables the child to maintain an attachment with a figure vital to survival, development, and thriving. Analysis of evolutionary pressures, mental modules, social cognitions, and developmental needs suggests that the degree to which the most fundamental human ethics are violated can influence the nature, form, and processes of trauma and responses to trauma.

Another article

Trauma & Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)



What is trauma?

Trauma involves exposure to a catastrophic event usually of a life threatening or seriously physically threatening nature. Traumatic events include experiences such as having witnessed violence, having been a victim of crime or violence, having lived through a natural disaster, having been a combatant or civilian in a war zone, having witnessed or having been a victim of a severe accident.

Most mental health professionals have expanded the definition of trauma to include betrayal trauma. Betrayal trauma occurs when the people or institutions we depend on for survival violate us in some way. An example of betrayal trust is childhood physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Please see our page on Surviving Childhood Abuse for information regarding this topic.


People who have encountered traumatic events experience their distress at different times after the event. Some people may have immediate reactions, whereas others may not have reactions for quite some time. There is no one standard response or pattern of responses to a crisis.
Some common reactions that people have after a traumatic event:

Feelings may become intense and sometimes unpredictable; you may be more anxious, fearful, hopeless, or irritable than usual.
You may have repeated thoughts and vivid memories of the event.
You may feel confused, have memory impairment, or have difficulty making decisions.
Your interpersonal relationships may become strained. For example, you may have increased conflict or you may be more withdrawn and avoid your usual activities.
You may have more physical symptoms than usual, e.g., fatigue, nausea, sweating (chills); any pre-existing conditions may become worse; sleep might be disturbed.
You may have recurrent emotional reactions on the anniversary of the event.
What you can do to manage your symptoms:

Give yourself time to heal.
Ask for support from people who care about you.
Find out about local support groups (we can help).
Try to have a healthy diet and get plenty of rest. Avoid drugs and alcohol.
Try to re-establish your regular routines - e.g., regular mealtimes, exercise, hobbies, fun activities.
Try to avoid making major decisions at this time - this just adds more stress.
What if it has been a while since the traumatic event and Im not getting better? What if my symptoms are more intense than what was just described?

You may be experiencing Post-traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. People with PTSD may have few or many of the following symptoms:

You may have constant and intrusive thoughts, feelings, images about the event. No matter how hard you try, you cant make it stop.
You may have flashbacks or nightmares where you feel you are reliving the event. Flashbacks involve a person losing grip on reality and perceiving him or herself to be in the traumatic situation. An example of this would be a crime victim acting as if he or she is fighting off attackers.
You may become extremely distressed when something reminds you of the event. A sight, sound or smell can activate memories. For example, getting into a car can be extremely distressing for the victim of a car wreck.
You may feel extremely on-guard or in danger. You may startle very easily and may be jumpy.
You may avoid thoughts, feelings or conversation about the traumatic event.
You may avoid people, places, and/or activities that remind you of the event. For example, crime victims may want to avoid the place where they were attacked.
You may not feel like participating in your usual activities.
You may not feel connected to people. You may avoid socializing. It may be difficult to trust people.
You may feel numb, and may not feel emotions like you used to.
People with PTSD may often experience other psychological difficulties along with the PTSD. These other psychological problems may include depression, anxiety disorders, panic disorder, eating disorders and alcohol/substance abuse.

Seeking treatment for PTSD

Seeking treatment can feel terrifying even though the symptoms that you are experiencing are extremely stressful. To seek treatment means you are facing the prospect of discussing the painful event and all the emotions surrounding it. You may be concerned that discussing the trauma will stir up disturbing feelings and that you may anticipate those feelings to be overwhelming. We realize that discussing trauma can be difficult and we will let you control the pace of revealing the details of your trauma. We will do our utmost to create an environment of sensitivity, safety and trust where you can talk about what has happened to you.

The Loyola College Counseling Center offers free counseling and referral services to Loyola students. If are suffering after a traumatic event, please call the Counseling Center at (410) 617-5109 to make an appointment to discuss what you have been going through and how we can help you.

Adapted from the American Psychological Association publication Managing Traumatic Stress and the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder publication PTSD Diagnosis and Treatment for Mental Health Clinicians.


http://www.loyola.edu/campuslife/healthservices/counselingcenter/trauma.html

tt


« Last Edit: June 04, 2008, 06:17:25 PM by teartracks »

Gabben

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2008, 01:44:34 PM »

"Most mental health professionals have expanded the definition of trauma to include betrayal trauma. Betrayal trauma occurs when the people or institutions we depend on for survival violate us in some way. An example of betrayal trust is childhood physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Please see our page on Surviving Childhood Abuse for information regarding this topic."


This rings true to my experience this past year with Nsaint, a counselor who betrayed my trust when she slandered me to a priest who had been hearing my confessions for over two years. I had known Nsaint for over three years and was trying to get away from her when the priest told me to work with her in his absence for the summer. I could tell he was still blind and naive to her lies. In my obedience to him I reluctantly followed his direction. He was my spiritual director, God was working through him; which really was the case since my terror with Nsaint led me to deeper healing and heart more full of compassion as well as forgiveness...God was indeed the planner.

Counselors are people with whom I bare my soul, really bare my soul, sharing the ugly parts of self (we are only as sick as our secrets). Because of my abandonment as a child I had to work really hard through layers of anxiety over the years to bare my authentic self in fear of rejection.

The end  and beginning of my PTSD came when Nsaint slandered me to my church after two years of a covert smear campaign against me that I found out she was waging even while faking her friendship with me. Now I finally know the reason why so many negative things happened in my life -- gaslighting - like the movie "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle." She was targeting me without me even knowing it.

That was when I went over the edge.

Betrayal trauma is very painful, it felt humiliating, the last thing I wanted to do was leave my beloved parish, but terror would run through my mind, planting itself in my heart like a razor sharp knife, taking my breath away with just the  thought of anything associated with Nsaint.

That is an exact example of how N's destroy, ruin and devastate lives. They steal so that no one else can have.

Deep down I felt as though I had been targeted for extinction...the kind of terror which this brings on is not easy to describe.

What was the worst was not eating or sleeping, it was if suddenly I was caught in between two worlds, the world of the living and the world of the dead.


There is a thread somewhere here on the board were I was losing it...I think Dr. G even pulled one of my posts for my own protection as I was going over the edge.

PTSD - betrayal trauma is real and really frightening...for days I felt that I was losing my mind, unable to cope with the reality of the reality -- I could not get a grip even if I wanted to...it was beyond my brain capacity.

The weeks and months that have followed have been about triage which has led me to be very gentle with myself which is good as well as I have learned to stop and smell the roses as the fragrance of flowers has a way of medicating the ouchy.

Last night, I was out walking when I came across a little bird that was stuck on the side walk. I waited for awhile to see if it would fly away, but my instinct told me something was not OK with the bird. I scooped it up in my palm and took it home with me. I nestled it into a little basket - the bird slept quietly through the night with it's beak stuck into its feathers. When I awoke this morning it tried to fly, but it was clear there was something wrong with it's wings. It landed right into my chest where I let the poor little thing nuzzle and sleep while I was able to gently rub its feathers. It was clear the bird was traumatized...now I understand.

This morning I dropped the bird off at the wild life rescue shelter, they promised me that they would help it and them release it back to the wild. Funny how we tend to project our own pains onto things. I thought to myself this little bird may have been abandoned my it's mother and now is suffering the pain of loss and betrayal that I have suffered...

Lise


« Last Edit: June 05, 2008, 02:03:17 PM by Gabben »

LilyCat

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2008, 01:54:11 PM »
Lise,

Every time I read one of your posts I am really touched. I guess because we have so much in common; both our Ns were in the church.

I really have no idea what to say. I just wanted to let you know that I hear you. Betrayal is such an abominable thing.

Hugs,

LC

teartracks

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2008, 09:08:44 PM »





Hi Lise,

I went over the edge

I'm glad that abstract rang true for you.  Our stories are different, but I went over the edge too.  It's been a few years.  Before that most of my memories were at best fractured.  Strangely, the parts where I dealt with the betrayal are very fresh in my memory. 

The weeks and months that have followed have been about triage which has led me to be very gentle with myself which is good as well as I have learned to stop and smell the roses as the fragrance of flowers has a way of medicating the ouchy.   I'm happy for you. 

Do you remember me raving about Henri J M Nouwen's book, Life of the Beloved?  I can't remember if you were a member when I did.  Anyway, it's a very uplifting read.

tt

 


Gabben

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2008, 09:14:47 PM »
Do you remember me raving about Henri J M Nouwen's book, Life of the Beloved?  I can't remember if you were a member when I did.  Anyway, it's a very uplifting read.

Hi tt,

thanks. I do not recall that, however, I can tell you that I have three books at home by Nouwen, one which I have read called the "Wounded Healer" the other two I have not read  and I do not know what they are, hmmm...perhaps this is my inspiration to pick them up and read.

Lise


Gabben

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2008, 09:15:50 PM »

I went over the edge

I'm glad that abstract rang true for you.  Our stories are different, but I went over the edge too. 

Thanks tt for this -- I am glad that I am not the only one to lose it.

teartracks

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2008, 12:35:39 AM »




Hi Lise,

Apologies - I gave you the wrong title to the Nouwen's book I had in mind.  The one I was trying to remember is titled, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom  

tt

Gabben

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2008, 12:45:21 PM »
Dear tt,

Thank you for the tip...I'm going to order the book today...I checked my Nouwen's last night that title was not one of my books. It sounds very good for where I am at right in life, which feels like a crossing over a threshold; this has been the case for most of this past year as the growth becomes appparent and then I feel as I am regressing all over again.

Lise

Certain Hope

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2008, 04:03:17 PM »




Hi Lise,

Apologies - I gave you the wrong title to the Nouwen's book I had in mind.  The one I was trying to remember is titled, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom  

tt

This is the one I got when you mentioned it long ago, tt. It's wonderful... and I've just pulled it out for review.


Lise, I loved reading your post about the little bird... and thinking of you tending to him in such a loving way. Thank you for sharing that.

Love,
Carolyn

teartracks

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2008, 07:59:27 PM »


Carolyn,

Yes.  That's right.  Must have been a couple of years ago.  I need to do a review too.

In your posts you sound like you are doing great!  :D

Here are a couple of quotes:

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate now knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

"Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared."


tt 
« Last Edit: June 06, 2008, 08:03:48 PM by teartracks »

Certain Hope

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2008, 10:12:32 PM »


Carolyn,

Yes.  That's right.  Must have been a couple of years ago.  I need to do a review too.

In your posts you sound like you are doing great!  :D

Here are a couple of quotes:

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate now knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

"Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared."


tt 

((((((tt)))))) thanks. Well, I dunno about great, but far more on an even keel. Finally feeling like a grown-up  (most of the time).

Those are great quotes. I especially needed to stop defending and learn how to share.

Here's another favorite:

"The art of spiritual living is to fully claim both your lion and your lamb. Then you can act assertively without denying your own needs. And you can ask for affection and care without betraying your talent to offer leadership.
...... the kingdom of peace that Jesus came to establish begins when your lion and your lamb can freely and fearlessly lie down together."


Now that is integrity!

Love,
Carolyn


teartracks

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2008, 12:09:11 AM »


Beautiful Carolyn,

I love the lion/lamb concept a lot better than the white dog/black dog one.

tt

Gabben

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Re: Betrayal Trauma. Now Included in Definition of Trauma
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2008, 03:36:21 PM »




Hi Lise,

Apologies - I gave you the wrong title to the Nouwen's book I had in mind.  The one I was trying to remember is titled, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom  

tt

Dear tt,

This Friday I received the my copy of The Inner Voice of Love by Nouwen. It spoke directly to me in that this past year I felt pulled out of life, stripped of all that was really important to me and left in pain with just two options, to heal (embrace my pain) and stay in prayer with God.

As I read this beginning chapters in this book I realized, again, that God is indeed working in my life, He is more close than I know, even when the darkest period, the PTSD was at it's worst.

This book is simple and appears to be a quick read, but really it is a read that needs to be digested slowly over a period of time, just as Nouwen says, the simple truths are to be contemplated and savored.

Thank you for the tip.

Lise