Victim mentality

[Gabben]

Re: alone, please read: Exploring Victim Mentality
« Reply #67 on: June 09, 2008, 11:41:28 PM »  

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Quote from: LeahsRainbow on June 07, 2008, 05:43:54 PM

Your anger, like any pain, will pass. If someone punches you, he is to blame for your pain, not you. By the same token, the one to blame for your anger is your abuser, not you.




wow, this tooks the words right out of my mouth....

 
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You know quite well, deep within you, that there



 What I have done here is taken a piece of an article, not written by you and not on your thread, but on a post.


Gabben,  

You say that it is not on my thread, well how come it clearly displays    Quote from: LeahsRainbow on June 07, 2008, 05:43:54 PM

Leah

Leah,

That is a post, from this thread, this is not your thread.

Is that clear?

Lise

[wiltay]

I have to say Izzy, that while I don't like you much, you are a 'truth teller' in that you don't ever seem to deliberately lie to serve your own purposes (unlike some others that I can think of).  I think many of your perceptions and observations are completely wrong and even rather mean, but I don't believe you are a malicious person at heart.   I didn't always believe that.   I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here.  This is not intended as a back-handed compliment and I am certainly not interested in being friends with you.  You have said some unbelievable cruel things to someone I love which were clueless and unforgivable, but I have to give you some grudging respect for a rare type of honesty.  Do with this what you will. 

I finally read this thread, from beginning to end........except.....
.....I don't read posts that are copied and pasted from some professional's site. I might have done that myself, in the past, but I find that I don't learn anything more about the poster from such a post. I prefer a poster's own words about herself. I think that that way I can learn more about the person.

The dialogue between Leah and Carolyn, I felt, was done 'well', without anger, just boundaries.

I'm saying this at the end, and it is somewhat what lighter said.... that L. & C. were being well behaved.

I would have preferred that lighter not be chastised on her own thread., but that could have been me.

I was some surprised to suddenly see Gabben arrive on the scene , then the dialogue between her and Ami. That used to be a case of my noticing that Lise followed Ami around the board and supported her. ...opposite to Leah following Carolyn or vise versa (re double post)

Wiltay, on the other hand, was more of a surprise! I often wonder how many times a member PMs another to QUICK!!!!!! get to such-and-such a post and support me!

If anyone is following where my loyaties are, one might think I am against Ami. I am not against her, as a person. She has many mountains to climb. I just hate reading the way she types her posts. There I said it. A comma after the wrong words, lol is out-of date, and there are no spaces between words at times with "too" "many" "quotes" The style does not make me feel I am 'talking with' a human being who attended University.

So my mentality is saying that I prefer better typing, and I do not read Copied and Pasted posts. I would prefer the link, followed by the poster's own opinion.

There is absolutely no offence intended in my post but I have said it now and hope it is understood that it is a part of me, and doesn't have to be a part of anyone else.

We all know many times it is not the person but the behaviour/habits

Iz

[Gabben]

No Lighter....You were almost banned....twice Dr. G has had to warn you.

Bill has never been warned. Bill left the board because of you and your toxic waste that you used to throw at Ami.

And, although I have issues now with Bill and Ami for the lack of truth, I still am not happy with the way you monopolize this board and deceive people.

I also have issues with you for trying to distract everyone and appear so superior when in fact you are the token board bully and everyone knows it. How many of my threads in the past have you tried to hijack before I set some solid limits?

If there is anyone calling the kettle black, Lighter, it is you.

Lise

[wiltay]

Lise, can't you see that you are justing making my point?

It seems to me that you are allowing the evil done to you to grow in your own heart.

I'm not the one having an affair with a married woman whose husband is suicidal....

[Gabben]

You know, I have shared my life, as an open book , on the board.
 I met the love of my life and am NOT having an affair, but doing EVEYTHING above board.
 I am not asking to be believed , just setting the record straight.
 Bill is everything that every woman dreams of and God saw fit to give him to me.I try to honor God ,with my life, to the best of my ability. If you want to judge me, you can.  Ami

It is not about judging you Ami. I have told you how I have felt in private many times because I loved you and I felt that I could not let it go without speaking my truth. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, Lord knows I have done many bad and wrong things in my own life.

The point I'm trying to make is that the only reason that Bill is saying that I am off on my perception is because of yours and his relationship.

To tell someone that there perception is wrong, is crazy making stuff, which is wrong....especially, if the only reason they are doing it is to protect there own interests.
 

If Bill wanted to he too could see the truth. But, because of his strong feelings for you he is blinded.

You dragged Bill into this because you want to win your game with Lighter and turn him on me as well, that is the point. When you make decisions based on self....you place yourself in a position to be hurt.

Think about that one.....

Lise

[wiltay]

Lise, I could care less about Lighter.  Ami did not put me up to anything-zero.  What inspired me was Leah's predicament, which is very similar to my own and also YOURS, I might add.  Also, please don't say you're only interested in truth and then make things up. 

That is so freaking low, Lise.

What you are doing behind your husbands back is low....very low.

It would break his heart and you know it - truth hurts Ami, right?

I'll delete these posts about the affair, because I am not about hurting you, but I do want to make a point about how Bill is here only because Ami asked Bill to so that Ami could use me and my conflict with Leah to try to win Ami's fight with lighter...

Bill has an old bone to pick with lighter.

I could care less about winning, I just care about the truth.

Lise

[Izzy_*now*]

Well Bill (wiltay)

You gave me a good laugh       with your post.

It was very back-handed and you might be the only person on Board who has finally 'pegged me' knowing that I wouldn't hurt a fly, but I also use some tough language when I see/read something to which I am trying to respond, and it is out of my league.    I am NOT a University graduate. I am from a generation older than everyone here.

I'm sure you would like me if we were to meet in person. Everybody does!      

regards
Granny
(Izzy)

Oh my! I see the thread title has changed.

[Gabben]

Lise, I could care less about Lighter.  Ami did not put me up to anything-zero.  What inspired me was Leah's predicament, which is very similar to my own and also YOURS, I might add.  Also, please don't say you're only interested in truth and then make things up. 

That is so freaking low, Lise.

What you are doing behind your husbands back is low....very low.

It would break his heart and you know it - truth hurts Ami, right?

I'll delete these posts about the affair, because I am not about hurting you, but I do want to make a point about how Bill is here only because Ami asked Bill to so that Ami could use me and my conflict with Leah to try to win Ami's fight with lighter...

Bill has an old bone to pick with lighter.

I could care less about winning, I just care about the truth.

Lise

Bill,

If you and Ami were to just get honest with yourselves I would be here for you... I am still here for you, no matter what.

I care.. you know I am deep, not shallow and you know that I am real, and really honest.

Lise

[Ami]

Dear Lise
 I think you can tell from Bill's strength and integrity  that HE is not the type of person who would be a "marching clone" for anyone.If he and I disagree with you, we can still love you, even if you do not return the sentiment.
       Ami

[Gabben]

Dear Lise
 I think you can tell from Bill's strength and integrity(even if you disagree with his POV) that HE is not the type of person who would be a "marching clone" for anyone.
       Ami

And neither am I.

[wiltay]

Lise, thank you for this bit of truth.  The rest you are simply wrong about.  Some things you see with razor-sharp clarity, others through pain-distorted glass.  I don't claim to be any different.

No Lighter....You were almost banned....twice Dr. G has had to warn you.

Bill has never been warned. Bill left the board because of you and your toxic waste that you used to throw at Ami.

And, although I have issues now with Bill and Ami for the lack of truth, I still am not happy with the way you monopolize this board and deceive people.

I also have issues with you for trying to distract everyone and appear so superior when in fact you are the token board bully and everyone knows it. How many of my threads in the past have you tried to hijack before I set some solid limits?

If there is anyone calling the kettle black, Lighter, it is you.

Lise

[Ami]

No Lighter....You were almost banned....twice Dr. G has had to warn you.

Bill has never been warned. Bill left the board because of you and your toxic waste that you used to throw at Ami.

And, although I have issues now with Bill and Ami for the lack of truth, I still am not happy with the way you monopolize this board and deceive people.

I also have issues with you for trying to distract everyone and appear so superior when in fact you are the token board bully and everyone knows it. How many of my threads in the past have you tried to hijack before I set some solid limits?

If there is anyone calling the kettle black, Lighter, it is you.

Lise

[/quote]


THIS is the TRUTH of the thread! We can ALL agree on this, Lise.            Ami

[Leah]

Oh, I see what you mean Izzy, the title has changed.

Love,

Leah

[Gabben]

Ami,

What happened is that you saw Carolyn and +(lighter) going a bit against Leah on this thread.

So then, in your fear, that I, because of my friendship with Carolyn and my dislike of Leah's behavior on this board was going to turn to lighter and turn on you, you had Bill step in; I can only assume, but my gut tells me that you asked him to step in to look and defend Leah to support your fears.

In the past I have had conflict with Leah, you, Ami have stayed neutral as well as Bill has never said anything....until now, interesting.

This conflict today was a direct result of your misdirected fear and ambition to win the conflict with lighter, Ami...an attempt to win the situation, nothing less nothing more.

The sad fact is that no one wins....we are still here with our voices.


If you would like me to delete my posts about your relationship to Bill, I will. It was not done out of spite, but to illuminate the truth, as I see it...and I have had much practise now, I feel confident that I do see it clearly. If you both wanted to see it, you could...it is all there---------------the truth.
Lise

[Gabben]

Re: The hijacking of a thread: Victim Mentality.... wasn't wiltay banned?



Re: One toadie come out'n play, one toadie go away. 


This, lighter, is a taunt....