Victim mentality

[Certain Hope]

This is getting a bit beyond weird, so I'm going to mention it.

On more occasions than I can count, I've noticed that when I post after Leah, she returns to the thread, deletes her previous post, and re-posts it after mine.

I don't want to assume or assign motives, I'm only mentioning it because - like I said - I find it exceedingly odd.

Carolyn

[Leah]

This is getting a bit beyond weird, so I'm going to mention it.

On more occasions than I can count, I've noticed that when I post after Leah, she returns to the thread, deletes her previous post, and re-posts it after mine.

I don't want to assume or assign motives, I'm only mentioning it because - like I said - I find it exceedingly odd.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

You may not have found it so odd, IF you had conversed with me, and asked me why I GENERALLY (not just your post) sometimes do delete the previous post AFTER editting the post due to my error (grammar error i.e. comma's - which has been pointed out to me on the board - failure to use spellcheck - or addition - or complete mess in the way I have written something - as I am not a professional writer .......... no surprise!).

Because, I choose to do so.

No rules for typing here, thank goodness.

Love,

Leah


PS.  I have been made free, and feel totally free here, to express in my own style, whether it maybe somewhat unstylish, and make no apology for being a ham at writing.

[Leah]

YES
 THE ONE TO BLAME FOR YOUR ABUSE IS YOUR ABUSER!   AMEN       Ami

Dear Ami,

Oh, I know, but try telling that to some folk - whether in the public services sector, or just the ordinary man/woman in the street.

I did go through a stage of thinking that it would have been better to have remained suffering in silence, because the additional angst and pain of being Re-Victimized

and being blamed for the actions of my perpetrator of abuse .......... was doubly binding.

Love,

Leah

[Certain Hope]

This is getting a bit beyond weird, so I'm going to mention it.

On more occasions than I can count, I've noticed that when I post after Leah, she returns to the thread, deletes her previous post, and re-posts it after mine.

I don't want to assume or assign motives, I'm only mentioning it because - like I said - I find it exceedingly odd.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

You may not have found it so odd, IF you had conversed with me, and asked me why I GENERALLY (not just your post) sometimes do delete the previous post AFTER editting the post due to my error (grammar error i.e. comma's - which has been pointed out to me on the board - failure to use spellcheck - or addition - or complete mess in the way I have written something - as I am not a professional writer .......... no surprise!).

Because, I choose to do so.

No rules for typing here, thank goodness.

Love,

Leah

No, indeed, Leah... I do still find it exceedingly odd... and well beyond the reasoning you've stated here.

You add to your posts all the time, via the edit function.
But when you move your posts ahead on the thread, it's when I've posted after you.
Been watching this for ages, so there's no doubt about it in my mind.

I have your post in question from this thread saved, because I'd wondered whether you'd do the same thing again (as you've already done elsewhere, today).
There are no substantial changes.


In other words, I don't believe you, Leah... but that's okay. I can live with that.

I just wanted to state the facts as I've observed them and now I can let it go.

Carolyn

[Leah]

Carollyn,

You can't do anything to upset me, not anymore.

You think that others do and behave as you do.

Well, sorry, but they don't always do as you do.

Love,

Leah

[Leah]

This is getting a bit beyond weird, so I'm going to mention it.

On more occasions than I can count, I've noticed that when I post after Leah, she returns to the thread, deletes her previous post, and re-posts it after mine.

I don't want to assume or assign motives, I'm only mentioning it because - like I said - I find it exceedingly odd.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

You may not have found it so odd, IF you had conversed with me, and asked me why I GENERALLY (not just your post) sometimes do delete the previous post AFTER editting the post due to my error (grammar error i.e. comma's - which has been pointed out to me on the board - failure to use spellcheck - or addition - or complete mess in the way I have written something - as I am not a professional writer .......... no surprise!).

Because, I choose to do so.

No rules for typing here, thank goodness.

Love,

Leah

No, indeed, Leah... I do still find it exceedingly odd... and well beyond the reasoning you've stated here.

You add to your posts all the time, via the edit function.
But when you move your posts ahead on the thread, it's when I've posted after you.
Been watching this for ages, so there's no doubt about it in my mind.

I have your post in question from this thread saved, because I'd wondered whether you'd do the same thing again (as you've already done elsewhere, today).
There are no substantial changes.


In other words, I don't believe you, Leah... but that's okay. I can live with that.

I just wanted to state the facts as I've observed them and now I can let it go.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

You must have nothing better to do, than watch Leah's every move, and save Leah's posts, and check to see what Leah is doing.

You clearly have had an issue with me, and that is YOUR ownership, not mine.

All because I dared to question.

Love,

Leah

[Certain Hope]

Carollyn,

You can't do anything to upset me, not anymore.

You think that others do and behave as you do.

Well, sorry, but they don't always do as you do.

Love,

Leah

I'm not trying to upset you, Leah.

As odd as your behavior has seemed to me, it seemed even more odd for me to pretend like I hadn't noticed.

So I'm making it clear in this way - yes, I have noticed.

I could have just played the game of moving my own posts beyond yours, time after time, but that would surely feel like a regression.

Carolyn

[Leah]

Carollyn,

You can't do anything to upset me, not anymore.

You think that others do and behave as you do.

Well, sorry, but they don't always do as you do.

Love,

Leah

I'm not trying to upset you, Leah.

As odd as your behavior has seemed to me, it seemed even more odd for me to pretend like I hadn't noticed.

So I'm making it clear in this way - yes, I have noticed.

I could have just played the game of moving my own posts beyond yours, time after time, but that would surely feel like a regression.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

I don't concern myself with how others choose to type their words, edit, add, review, highlight, and do whatever it is they wish to do - in their choice of expression and style.

They can delete, change, re-post as many times as they wish to.

So long as they don't post abusively and harmfully,

then I am happy to live and let live, in allowing freedom of expression in an individuals own choice of style, and ability.

Love,

Leah

[Certain Hope]

This is getting a bit beyond weird, so I'm going to mention it.

On more occasions than I can count, I've noticed that when I post after Leah, she returns to the thread, deletes her previous post, and re-posts it after mine.

I don't want to assume or assign motives, I'm only mentioning it because - like I said - I find it exceedingly odd.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

You may not have found it so odd, IF you had conversed with me, and asked me why I GENERALLY (not just your post) sometimes do delete the previous post AFTER editting the post due to my error (grammar error i.e. comma's - which has been pointed out to me on the board - failure to use spellcheck - or addition - or complete mess in the way I have written something - as I am not a professional writer .......... no surprise!).

Because, I choose to do so.

No rules for typing here, thank goodness.

Love,

Leah

No, indeed, Leah... I do still find it exceedingly odd... and well beyond the reasoning you've stated here.

You add to your posts all the time, via the edit function.
But when you move your posts ahead on the thread, it's when I've posted after you.
Been watching this for ages, so there's no doubt about it in my mind.

I have your post in question from this thread saved, because I'd wondered whether you'd do the same thing again (as you've already done elsewhere, today).
There are no substantial changes.


In other words, I don't believe you, Leah... but that's okay. I can live with that.

I just wanted to state the facts as I've observed them and now I can let it go.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

You must have nothing better to do, than watch Leah's every move, and save Leah's posts, and check to see what Leah is doing.

You clearly have had an issue with me, and that is YOUR ownership, not mine.

All because I dared to question.

Love,

Leah

Carolyn,

I don't concern myself with how others choose to type their words, edit, add, review, highlight, and do whatever it is they wish to do - in their choice of expression and style.

They can delete, change, re-post as many times as they wish to.

So long as they don't post abusively and harmfully,

then I am happy to live and let live, in allowing freedom of expression in an individuals own choice of style, and ability.

Love,

Leah

Leah,

This feels like you are trying to shame me for having noticed this odd behavior in the first place.

Well, I am not ashamed.

I'm glad that I spoke up about it because what's out in the light can no longer simmer and stew.

Carolyn

[Leah]

Leah,

This feels like you are trying to shame me for having noticed this odd behavior in the first place.

Well, I am not ashamed.

I'm glad that I spoke up about it because what's out in the light can no longer simmer and stew.

Carolyn

Carolyn,

What you have said, that you don't believe me, based on your feelings,

goes against all that you have said today.


Also, to accuse me of shaming you, based on your feelings,

is abusive to me as a person, because that is not the truth.


I am ending this now and will hand over the "lastworditis" to you, willinging.


Nothing and no-one is going to seperate me from what God is doing in my life.

Please, know Carolyn that I have forgiven you, and I do again, forgive you now,

for all the hurt and pain I endured when you ceased to love me as your "sister" in Christ

and I sat in silence.   I trusted you with my real name.

And all because I dared to question regarding the book.


God Bless You "Shalom"

Love, Leah

[lighter]

Well.... .

this recent low conflict exchange is a very good example of communicating our reality(about someone else's perceived behavior....)

and having that reality challenged.

It's been polite, and I find that helpful but, who's reality is real?


There's real and there's reality.

Hmmm...

My first response, for the sake of understanding the social science of this type struggle, was:

1)Who cares if Leah likes to move her posts behind Carolyn's?  Wheres the harm in that?

Then I remembered how annoying it was to have my posts followed over and over by a poster, who's posts I wasn't interested in reading.  I bet no one else noticed.

A bit frustrating, not harmful but here I was invalidating, if only in my mind, Carolyn's shared thoughts about something she noticed/was frustrated or curiouse about.  

Me second thought was:

2)  If Leah really is doing that.... maybe she'll quit now that it's been stated on the board and people will be peeping at it, just bc.

So....  I looked at it from my own selfish perspective, at first glance.

How does this affect me?

Do I care?

Everyone does that, I'm sure.  Human nature.  Nature of the beast and so on.  

Not a grudge society holds against victims, leading to what appears to be apathy, minimizing of trauma/victimization or enabling predators.  

Right?

::sigh::

Not siding with either party on this one..... but I find it helpful in exploring the OT.

Thanks,

Lighter

[Leah]

Lighter,

I have done it ........ I do it

on all threads sometimes, for my own reasons.

More so ............. over on the WHAT HELPS board............... to MINE OWN THREADS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is all most distracting from the ethos of the postings here on this thread which are to do with RE-VICTIMIZATION OF THE VICTIM

which I do hope are helpful to Alone, and anyone sitting on the outside as a guest.


I make no apology for boldly posting that the subject matter is a personal passion of which I have spoken about.


Love, Leah


Editting AGAIN!!!!!     By the way, I did post that I have a new laptop and I have, I do, see posts delete with malfunction on my part with side pressing certain keys by accident, namely the Fn key

for some unknown reason, well unknown to me.


Oh, yes, THIS IS NOT A CONFLICT as I perceive.


Love, Leah

[Certain Hope]

Okay,

so now it has been judged:

a)  that my expression of my feelings re: the attempts to shame me are abusive to another

b)  that if I continue to respond re: this behavior, that I have

"lastworditis"

and

c) that

This is all to distract from the ethos of the postings here on this thread which are to do with RE-VICTIMIZATION OF THE VICTIM

Lighter, I apologize for sidetracking your thread re: the victim mentality. If you'd like I'd be glad to copy and paste my posts onto a separate thread.
Also, thanks for giving your impression of the discussion.

Carolyn

[Leah]

Carolyn,

You typed out quicker than my editting ........... please note that I made an important amendment upon edit........

This is all most distracting from the ethos of the postings here on this thread which are to do with RE-VICTIMIZATION OF THE VICTIM


I type quicker than I process etc., sometimes.

I am not a professional writing, writer, merely a member here on the board posting and sharing for the purpose of healing.

Love,

Leah


Edit:  I typed writing but it should have been writer.  Sorry.

[lighter]

Actually.... Carlyn and Leah....

watching this exchange, and being a part, is helping me learn.

Don't apologize.... feel free to continue the exchange and see where it leads.

Pull it apart.... you were right on the money, as far as logical stream of thought, CH.

Leah..... feel free to respond.

We're all learning: )

Lighter