Part 3
The Continued Dangers of Entitlement: Without a willingness to "see" his/her own negative behavior patterns, the self-defined "Victim" will no doubt continue to make sure everyone believes he/she has been “abused” by presenting “abuse” today. This once true Victim of early abuse will continue to seek power (now empowered to "pay-back") the rest of his/her life by making sure the world sees that he/she is being abused.
All abuse can produce a loss of personal power and a degrading of the value of “self” (to the abused powerless child) and becomes the means for the early destruction of a right to personal control for the abused (the right to personal control is an inherent right of being human and is a learned response within the process of growing into adulthood).
Depending on the age when this destructive personality profile is finally exposed (or recognized) by someone, there will be revealed within the self-defined "Victim's" history, a past of earlier “victimizer’s” and destroyed, damaged, lost, minimally functioning or no longer functioning relationship(s).
Often what relationships are intact within the new couple's lives will be sustained by the behind-the-scene "support" for the self-defined "Victim" and are made up of those who have not suspected the false front provided them.
Those persons who suspect or have suspected the deceptive behavior of the self-defined "Victim" are not retained within the circle of influence and/or who have been made uncomfortable by the stealth comments made by the self-defined "Victim" that they remain at a distance to the couple's life (to the confusion, increasing isolation and hurtful loss to the falsely labeled "Victimizer.")
While this destructive negative learned behavior has been encouraged by stressful and abusive situations within the child’s life of the (now) adult, the choice of continuing to role-play the “Victim” throughout early adulthood (which may continue throughout life when there has been no positive intervention ) always creates more real victims.
The major casualty of a self-defined “Victim” (besides innocent children) is a genuine victim who will carry permanent and lasting damage to his/her life, relationships and reputation for the rest of his/her life because of living with the self-defined “Victim” personality.
That person - (the real victim within this examination)- has been impacted by economic loss through lost jobs, clients, friends, potential friends and had respect taken from him/her through the deceptive behavior of the “Victim” and a genuine ugly “deformity” of his/her true personality has taken place.
It will take careful repairing work grounded in a firm morality or he/she risks his/her actions toward renewal as seen as doing exactly what had been done to him/her by the self-defined “Victim.”
If the activation of “Victim-playing” begins early within a relationship (usually after marriage), once this behavior is recognized and the now falsely labeled "Victimizer" feels the negative effects of that role, it may be difficult to save an existing intimate adult relationship for long.
The behavior - recognized or exposed: The “Victim” now used to his/her role-playing feels no alternative but to maintain his/her “Victim” status. Exposure is to destroy the source of his/her personal power because the “superiority” of the “Victim” is threatened with extinction. The ability to “tweak” to “control” to “activate” has been lost.
The individual self-defined “Victim” may not fully understand what a fraud he/she is, but it is difficult to deny that “Victim’s” who play this part, do know that lying, stealing, hypocrisy, belittling comments, back-biting and personality destruction of another is a moral wrong (within logic).
In spite of the logic regarding moral behavior being seen: Instead of acknowledging his/her activity is a moral wrong, the self-defined “Victim” rarely admits to the pattern of behavior, thus, denying that a moral wrong is being perpetrated on another human being by him (or her).
To fall in love with such a damaged personality is dangerous to a healthy “self” (in reality, the real personality has been hidden by the devious behavior of the “Victim” so that when exposed, the person damaged by this behavior realizes that the man or woman he/she thought he/she loved was not real).