Hi Carolyn, (this took a whiile)
That is a good site, and there are plenty of off-shoot links.
What I prefer is that someone has read such information from a professional/someone who knows, then the poster here put her personal spin on the what it really was like for her, what she learned.
I met the N, after I bought a computer from him. He was very knowledgeable about building computers. A friend picked it up brought it to me and hooked it up, but noticed a faulty video card. I called to have it replaced and N came. He was there for 6 hours.
He was there for 6 hours. I never thought about his extending a 10 minute job into 6 hours. I never thought about the lost time he was making for himself. We were chatting and getting along as though we had known each other forever, and I didn’t know that he had read me. He said I was the nicest person he had ever met,. REALLY! I was a nice person (but he also read ‘neediness , insecurity, money, and easy prey’)
He told me that his ex always called him a loser and how he would never get anywhere in life. I saw it differently, as he was so well-versed in computers, the building of same and operation. He also said he had a University degree and was a teacher..
I had once lived in his home town. Some coincidence, and attended the same church. We both were able to discuss the pastor and his wife and he would later send me a picture of the wife. He said he thought he had seen me before--and it had to be in the Church. We were amazed over this coincidence. Later I asked him when he stopped attending church and he said March, 1966. I began attending in September, 1966. He couldn’t have seen me and thought how ‘hot I was’.
What he told me about himself, brought out the mother in me, wanting to console him----pity---and make things right. It also made me share and what I had to share told him that I was available to move. Later we would move and now I am here 2000 miles away from family, but that is a good point for me.
I saw that he loved himself and hated himself. I saw that he was never at fault. I saw that he wouldn’t even allow me to cook. I once started a stir fry and he took over and really believed it all was his idea. I once made a terrific meal which I served up as he came home from a business call. He asked me the recipe and I said there was none, just something I did if I have certain ingredients. He was furious with me.
He took forever to deliver and set up a computer. Sheesh I ought to have known from the first day I met him and he wasted 6 hours. Since we were partners in a computer business, I was concerned about this lost time, when he bitched his work was piling up. He would become so overwhelmed that he would stop working about 2:30 and begin drinking. He was a loser and would get nowhere in life.
This could become a book but those are the real experiences of a victim, turned survivor, of a psychopath.
Yes! Psychopath. My first therapist pegged him as an N, then changed that to a P when she learned he had criminal records: statutory rape, (jail time), car theft (jail time), manslaughter--killed a 16 year old girl when driving drunk (jail time) -- then refusal to file tax returns, which involved me re the business, owed Government $70,000.00 for adult student loan for University, and refused to pay, because Karla Homalka, (google that name) in prison for murder, received free University Education. What he needed was someone else’s name on HIS business (I never made a cent) HIS bank accounts, so that the government could not seize his assets. (entitlement)
I left, removed my name and then the Gov’t descended, partially through me, but because they had my phone number, not his. (????) hiding?
That’s enough to let everyone know, for now!
Izzy
