Sam Vaknin---Malignant Self Love

[Ami]

Has anyone read Malignant Self Love? by Vaknin
I would be interested in anyone's comments on this book .   Thanks  Ami

[Lupita]

I started reading it, but it made me so scared and upset, that I had to stop. I have heard that he is not a professional or graduated in psychology.

Anyway, it is an eye opener but only that. IMO.

What is your opinion?

[LilyCat]

Hi Ami,

I haven't read the book, but I've read much of what he's posted online ... which must be most of the book.

I think he has some interesting things to say, and some good information, but I think you have to read it very carefully. IMO a lot of it is the "publicity" efforts of a self-professed N. That is, he gets an awful lot of supply from what he writes.

And sometimes, the language is just ridiculous.

I read another board where he is considered the be-all and end-all of info. I find the posts of actual experiences there very helpful and insightful, but it seems to be a fairly rigid environment on that board. Lots of wonderful members with great insights and feedback, but I'm often afraid to contradict what anyone says or voice a different opinion. However, I interpret this as a protective thing on their part.

Too bad, though. I'm always one for honest dialogue. I feel much more comfortable here, despite controversies.

...this is all just my humble opinion. I don't have that much experience dealing with an N.

Hope you are well.

(((((Ami))))))

LC

[darren]

I started reading it, but it made me so scared and upset, that I had to stop. I have heard that he is not a professional or graduated in psychology.

Anyway, it is an eye opener but only that. IMO.

What is your opinion?

I don't like Sam Vaknin... he presents a view of NPD that is macabre and doesn't match up with other things I've read.  I've seen him online presenting fictional "case studies" which he admits or made up only if asked.  I've also observed him being VERY abusive to people who've looked to him for help.  I have also heard that his degrees are not real, or earned on an online university.  I don't think what he writes represents what I went through... it doesn't explain all the behavior that I witnessed in my dealing with narcissism.  After reading his work I also felt ill and assumed everything that happened had hidden motives which wasn't always the case.  I think there are better places to get info and help.

[Leah]

Hi Ami,

Personally, when I first wanted to know about Narcissism via the Internet's resources - of course, naturally, up popped the writings and the book by Sam Vak nin.

So, of course, I read much on his online site - and other links also.

I did in fact buy his book, but as I have shared here before, I no longer have it.

A long time ago, I researched the author, Sam Vak nin, in just the same way as I would research any author of whom I am absorbing their written material.


He is not qualified, instead, he openly professes and testifies from his characteristic's behaviour to be a malignant narcissist.

I much prefer my choice and option of researching and reading from a wide spectrum of authors - professionally qualified, and none.

And. in doing so, I prefer to resist in placing someone, anyone, upon a pedestal.

Love,

Leah

[dandylife]

I read it and I still have it.

It's a great eye opener from the direct point of view of a self-aware narcissist. Everyone who has to deal with one - be it boss, child, parent, lover, spouse - should read it.

Take certain things with a grain of salt - as he does see himself as the center of the universe and all knowing - but THAT is the point - narcissism!

Dandylife

[Leah]

I read it and I still have it.

It's a great eye opener from the direct point of view of a self-aware narcissist. Everyone who has to deal with one - be it boss, child, parent, lover, spouse - should read it.

Take certain things with a grain of salt - as he does see himself as the center of the universe and all knowing - but THAT is the point - narcissism!

Dandylife

Good valid point, Dandylife

with a balance, and a " Caveat Emptor " - I omitted to say in my post that I did actually learn much of narcissism from his writings - but, I was wary of his "cult" following.

Take certain things with a grain of salt - as he does see himself as the center of the universe and all knowing - but THAT is the point - narcissism!


And yes, that is the point!


Love, Leah