About Me, the author
J. Stephen Conn
I am a freelance writer and photographer, and also a former pastor and syndicated newspaper columnist.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Gossip: The Sin No One Confesses
Almost every sin imaginable has been confessed to me during the 35 years I have been a minister: stealing, lying, adultery, and even murder. But I do not recall that anyone has ever confessed to me the sin of gossip. Yet gossip is surely one of the most prevalent sins of all, and one of those most severely condemned in Scripture.
Perhaps one reason so few people feel guilty of telling about another person’s faults is because we have developed such clever ways to disguise what we are doing. Much of the worst slander is prefaced with a disclaimer such as, “I don’t mean to be spreading rumors, but ….” That is an absurd statement. Anyone who ever makes it should immediately just shut up, or at least change the subject.
Gossip may be disguised as false sympathy: “Isn’t it too bad how Joe beats his wife.” Some gossip is even passed off as a prayer request: “Now I’m just telling you this so you can pray about it.” Then there is the person who as a question: “Is it true that George and Alice are getting a divorce?”
We also gossip just by listening. If the receiver of stolen goods is as guilty as the thief, is not the person who provides a willing ear the accomplice to the one who bears the tale? I personally consider it an insult when a person brings me a bit of malicious gossip. In so doing he is passing judgment on me, assuming I am the kind of person who delights in hearing such slander.
A gossip may argue, “But I am only telling the truth.” The fact that a slanderous story is true does not necessarily justify its being told. If one man sins and another tells about it, the talebearer may have committed the worst sin of the two.
For example, Genesis 9 tells how Noah became intoxicated and lay naked in his tent. It’s a shame for anyone to get drunk and indecently exposed, especially a preacher.
One of Noah’s sons, Ham, discovered his father’s drunkenness and couldn’t wait to go tell his two brothers about their old man. All he told was the truth. But Shem and Japheth refused to look upon their father’s sin; instead they covered him.
The sons who would not listen to or spread the gossip were blessed and they prospered. Ham, because of his gossip, was cursed and condemned to a life of servitude. Like all sinners who repent, Noah was forgiven. In the New Testament he is later listed in Hebrews 11 as one of the great men of faith and righteousness.
In this scenario God’s judgment against one who gossips was even more severe than it was against the man guilty of drunkenness and indecent exposure. That’s something to think about the next time you hear yourself say: “I don’t mean to gossip, but….” The Living Bible says: “Anyone who says he is a Christian but doesn’t control his sharp tongue is just fooling himself, and his religion isn’t worth much.” James 1:26
Posted by J. Stephen Conn at 12:01 PM
Labels: Points to Ponder
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2nd entry
God bless,
Catholic Writer
AkismetQuestion: Is gossip a sin? Why?
Posted on September 4, 2006 by Catholic Writer
I’ve finally reached a new chapter in The Question Box by John J. Dietzen, leaving behind “Marriage and Family” and moving into “Right and Wrong”. I came across this interesting question to share:
Question: When does an injury to another person by true gossip become sinful? If the information is strictly true, where is the injury or sin?
John Dietzen:
In my experience as a priest, no crimes of speech (perhaps no crimes of any kind) are more destructive to our social relationships than the one you mention - and the feeling that simply because a thing is true about someone else, we are free to say whatever we like about it, whenever we liked, and to whomever we like.
One who thinks and acts this way is grossly in error. When the topic of our loose gossip is true, we’re dealing with the sin of detraction and contumely (insult). To lie about others, attributing to them faults and bad actions we know are untrue, is even worse, a sin of calumny or slander.
One commits the sin of detraction when he makes known the faults of another without a very good reason for doing so. It can be a serious moral offense if it does great harm to that other person’s reputation by having his of her faults spread about when they otherwise would not be.
The same sin of insult is committed when the other person is refused ordinary decency and respect whether face to face in private, or in public, such as in newspapers or on television.
Even when the other person’s faults are public knowledge, it still can be sinful against charity to speak unnecessarily about those faults.
Occasionally there may be good reasons to tell another’s faults, to a child’s parents, for example. It is grossly wrong, though, to imagine that just because a story about another person is true, one is at liberty to spread it around.
A person’s good name is among his most precious possessions, and the fact that one gets a kick out of being always there with the latest tidbit is no justification for tarnishing that good name. A person’s faults are a matter between himself and God. The rest of us should keep our noses out.
Scripture has many strong, condemning words for gossips. In one of the psalms, God doesn’t mince words: “The slanderer of his neighbour in secret - him will I destroy.”
Already in his own time, St. Paul recognised the poisonous effect of this kind of conversation. He found himself forced to warn against it frequently. His advice to Titus is still valid: “Tell them not to speak evil of anyone.” Which means in blunt language: “If you can’t say something good about someone, keep quiet.”
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3rd entry
If you know of people, Christians especially, who frequently gossip about others, whether it be in the neighbourhood, or in the office, send this to them, or redirect them to this post. Click on title of post to obtain the URL.
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What Scripture Says
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Suggested Reading Gossip
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Gossip is sharing private information with those who are not part of the problem or part of the solution.
When you speak things about others that you would be ashamed to say in their presence, you are not only disobeying God's Word (Leviticus 19:16), you are also destroying that person's reputation in the mind of your listener.
Scripture states that the sin of gossip is not limited to the spreading of lies alone, but also includes the improper involvement of yourself in another's personal business (1 Timothy 5:13).
Even to participate in the act of gossip as a listener is sin (Proverbs 20:19). By willfully listening to the one who gossips, you sanction the destruction of the other person's reputation.
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What Scripture Says
"For I fear, lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you such as you do not wish; lest there be contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings, conceits, tumults"
(2 Corinthians 12:20).
"You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people; nor shall you take a stand against the life of your neighbour: I am the Lord" (Leviticus 19:16).
"And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not"
(1 Timothy 5:13).
"For I heard many mocking: 'Fear on every side!' 'Report,' they say, 'and we will report it.' All my acquaintances watched for my stumbling, saying, '...we will take our revenge on him'" (Jeremiah 20:10).
"Likewise the soldiers asked him, saying, 'And what shall we do?' So he said to them, 'Do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely, and be content with your wages'"
(Luke 3:14).
"Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and destroy. Who are you to judge another?" (James 4:11,12).
"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone..." (Matthew 18:15).
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God's Alternative
Matthew 18:15 gives the Scriptural alternative to gossip. If you have something against someone, you should go to that person, tell your grievance, and hear his/her side of the story. It may be that you were wrong. Thus, you will not only clear up your misunderstanding, but you will have a chance to apologize as well.
On the other hand, if you were correct and the person's words or actions have in some way caused you or another harm, then that person is given the opportunity to repent. Scripture gives further instruction concerning the course to take if the person does not repent (Matthew 18:16,17).
When you find yourself gossiping, repent at once so that God will forgive you of this terrible, destructive sin. Gossip has its roots in jealousy, hate and self-pride. As with hate, you remove the person who is the object of your gossip from the love you should be showing (1 John 2:9,11; 3:15). As a result, you are murdering the person in your heart.
In order to overcome gossiping, seek the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. As you acquire these virtues, you will not be boastfully challenging and envying others (Galatians 5:22-26). Instead, you will find yourself able to think of others as worthy of your love and respect. As you then show love, honour and respect, you will receive love, honour and respect in return.
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As You Pray
Pray in this way: "Please forgive me, Lord, for being a part of gossip, both for listening to it and for passing it on. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight. In Jesus' name, amen."
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Suggested Reading
Read Beauty Care For The Tongue by LeRoy Koapman (Zondervan).
1 Corinthians 13:1 Love does not seek its own
Romans 1:29 Whispering
Romans 1:30 Backbiting
1 Timothy 6:4 Evil surmising
Ecclesiastes 10:1 Babbling
Psalm 41:5 Evil speaking
Exodus 20:16 Bearing false witness
Proverbs 17:9 Reporting matters
Other ministry pamphlets are available upon request: ENVY/JEALOUSY, FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT, HUMILITY, INTERCESSION, and JUDGEMENTAL/CRITICAL ATTITUDE. [/color]
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