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Are Nkids more insightful?

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PnkDragn3:
One thing I have noticed about myself is that I have a great insight as to who and what people are in the first moments of meeting them.  I guess this is a skill I have had to learn to "size up" my Nfather to protect myself.  Of course when I would try to warn others of what I felt I was always discredited.  It was proven time and time again that I was right about this person.  But of course nobody ever acknowledged that I was.   For a long time I refused to listen to my "gut feelings" and I would always get zapped.

I have recently realized that how my mother and siblings view me is actually my Nfathers opinion.  Will I ever be able to set them straight?  That I am not the "stupid little b*itch" that he so lovingly refered to me as for so many years?  Can the damage be repaired?

Ellie:
I too have always been able to see through someone very quickly. It's almost as if there is radar being emmitted from Ns that send danger warnings.

I not only size people up, but after years of having to know what the Nparents were thinking in order to respond quick enough to their needs, I can usually know what people are thinking, planning, etc. It is very hard for anyone to plan a surprise for me. I instinctively know that something is going on behind my back and can figure it out quickly. I can usually know in advance what hubby is getting me for presents. It's just second nature to already know these things. I used to say I had ESP, but as I have learned more about N behavior, I realize I was conditioned early in life to know things before they were spoken. Children of Ns have been taught to second guess, read the Ns minds, read the emotions and body language - that is what has kept us alive and somewhat functional all of these years.

I think we would all probably be very good detectives! I watch the crime shows and they still cannot fool me - I know early on what the ending is going to be.

I guess we can thank the Nparents for that skill - it has kept me out of trouble many times - instinctively knowing what people are planning in situations that I may not want to participate!

PnkDragn3:
Dear Ellie,

I remember one time I rented a mystery murder movie which I knew what the jest of it was about.  The very first scene a man in the movie laughed in a way that i instictively knew he was the one who commited the murder.  When I heard the laugh I told my boyfried at the time that he was the one who did it.  Needless to say at the end of the movie he asked me how I knew it was him and I told him it was because of the laugh.  He watched that scene over and over again trying to figure out what I saw in the laugh and he couldnt.  Weird how we can pick up on this stuff.

Another skill I developed over the years was the ability to talk my way out of any situation.  Whether I did the crime or not.  I guess I developed this because my siblings were always blaming thing on me that I didnt do.  I could talk my way out of anything but I knew in my heart they didnt believe me.

ch:
Yes, i think we have excellent intuition aright.  The next step is to TRUST it, and sharpen them.  Its definitely a good thing to have for survival.  Better than a phd degree, special talents, financial security, etc...  well, maybe, on par with some these goodies.   But, no, i wouldn't trade my intuition for anything in the world. I thank my lucky stars for it all the time!!!  

If you are looking for validation from others, that is hard to find unless they also have the same experience and background.  You can find it here since we all have had the N tragedy in our lives, past, or present.  We know exactly what you mean.

Also, Pinkdragon, i think you need to forget about your Nfamily. Their judgment is always clouded and completely way off from reaility so as to suit their own needs.

Discounted Girl:
We have insights that we didn't know we had. We didn't try nor plan to learn these "techniques," they just kicked in as part of our instinct to survive. I too have noticed perceptions I have in other areas of my life that seem more keen than others. These "perceptions," however, are not always a bonus. I have prayed to be simple, at least for a while so that I can get some rest.

PnkDragn3 -- I want to respond to your:

"I have recently realized that how my mother and siblings view me is actually my Nfathers opinion. Will I ever be able to set them straight? That I am not the "stupid little b*itch" that he so lovingly refered to me as for so many years? Can the damage be repaired?"

You have no idea how many times I have said almost the exact same words since 2001. Mine of course is about the NQueenmother. I am sure I am much older than you and the abuse has gone on much longer. There is no way to tell how many people out there in any given situation throughout the years have come away with the wrong impression of me based purely and completely on her lies and smear tactics. Like we have posted on this board over & over -- it is so hard for others to accept that a parent would purposely choose to destroy their own child that outrageous lies are believed as "it must be true -- her mother said so." 90% of the time, you do not even know these events have occurred.

There is not enough time left in my life (let alone energy) to go around "setting the record straight." She destroyed my relationship with my brother and his wife and children. She has tried to damage my relationship with my sons. She has painted a distorted picture of me with her acquaintences and probably more strangers than I could even imagine. She whispered things to my father about me -- I hate to imagine what.  She told lies about me to all my family. She in fact shortened my life and made a great deal of it miserable. She cheated me out of my childhood and a large part of my adulthood. She robbed me of some valuable stuff with respect to my relationship with my children. By the time I caught on to her monstrous ways, my life was way past half over and hers was 75% gone and my Dad was old and sick.

If i could buy the headline of every newspaper in America, if I could be on all the news shows and expose her, I would surely do it. It means that much to me, the hurt is so deep. My brother used to like me and we had fun together and I respected him and valued his friendship, but grain by grain, one iota at a time, she undermined me and I didn't even know it. What a total pig, bitch and wicked witch she is.

I just want to say to anyone out there who thinks this is a mental illness and these people cannot help themselves, you are wrong. This is a bad habit and a way of life that they plan and choose to live. It is all very deliberate and premeditated.

I really and truly wish that she had had a child who gave her problems and grief. She had a child who was no trouble, who loved and respected her mother, who got good grades, who had manners, who obeyed all her rules, who was kind and polite, never embarrassed her, never cost her anything more than clothes and food, and she made a deliberate choice to hurt me, use me, abuse me and try to destroy me.

When I didn't turn out to be trash and useless it infuriated her even more and the smear tactic efforts picked up speed and strength in the last 20 years. I am very angry at the family members who listened to her lies and (while many never have believed them) they did not tell her so. So, in essence, their silence was agreement. They sat in silence and let her believe she had ruined me in their eyes.

I just want to tell that I do not believe the damage can ever be repaired, but, believe me, you have absolutely nothing to lose by telling each and everyone of those people you love what he has done to you and that you know what he is up to. Be specific and calm and ask them to, out of respect for you, challenge any lies they are told.

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