Physiology and Behavior
I have a relative who behind the scenes (where the family does their whispering about her and others) was regarded as 'off'. Functional but off.
It was the occasion of her mother's second grown child dying suddenly. A third had suffered a disabling stroke in his thirties. So the 'off' one is the only remaining healthy one of four. Anyway, a clutch of family members were on hand so that when she (the 'off'' one) told her mother of her siblings death, there would be loving support for her and her mother. It wasn't enough. The mother pretty much fainted on the spot. EMS was called. As they attended to the mother, the 'off' one complained to the EMT's that she (the 'off' one) was having a terrible time breathing because of the numerous scented household items in her mothers home. Understandably, this was a very hard time for her too, but since she was the 'off' one, the general concensus seemed to be that she was up to her usual antics of trying to be center stage. The EMT's pretty much dismissed her, perhaps because they had been whispered to behind the scenes. I don't know. So the mother is taken to ER and given the called for medications.
In the meantime, the 'off' one is left standing outside the apartment huffing and puffing, trying to get her breath while chain smoking. Her symptoms are serious enough that she went to Home Depot which is close by and buys a heavy duty, outer space looking, respirator, preparing to be in the home when the mother returns. She still huffed and puffed and managed to continue smoking somehow. This all happened less than a year ago. I was there.
Then last week, I get a call saying that she had a brain aneurysm that burst, but was successfully repaired, successful as far as the aneurysm itself was concerned. She had called EMS complaining of a horrific headache. As I understand it, there had been a degree of dismissal by the EMT's on the scene because she had a 'history' of calling them for a number of symptoms. This happened in the town where she lives, not where her mother lives. First, they took her to a small community hospital, MRI'd her, detected the aneurysm. then helicoptered her to a bigger, better metro hospital for the surgery. The surgeon discovered a second aneurysm but refused to do anything with or about it. Thankfully she has now regained cognition, and speech. She still can't focus her eyes. Things are looking good for recovery.
So now I'm thinking how unfair the 'off' label was to her all those years. I thought she was off, but didn't say it.
I think if I had two aneurysms in my brain or anywhere for that matter, I might be off too. But how do you know if a person is a royal pain in the butt for no reason and when they are not. And in the end, how important is it to how we react to and treat them to know why they behave one way or another unless they are a danger to themselves or others? Isn't it probable that all these years those aneurysms drove this woman's odd behaviors. Behaviors she could not control. I'm rambling. Does anyone get what I'm trying to say? I feel like I just threw a very tiny pebble into the very large, complex pond of life.
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