Caroylyn, I am so sorry about Sammy. How sad. I know what you mean. Lily (!!) my previous cat had a chronic condition and although I did everything possible for her most of the time, for the last year of her life I was so depressed (much of it followingi the N's first abuse episode) that I didn't care for her as much. I should have taken her to the vet and I didn't. (Also didn't have the money.) It took all my strength to get up and through my day; I just didn't seem to have enough for her. That's when I knew how bad off i was, because I always put her first in my life. She was so fragile, poor little thing. I got to the point where I was considering giving her away to someone who could take care of her ... but I couldn't. So I eventually mentally forced myself. But to this day i wonder if I killed her or shortened her life. When she died, after I got back home from all the dad-dying stuff, the first or second night I was home I sat on my bed in profound tears, begging her for forgiveness. I have never done or felt anything quite like that, so from-the-bottom-of-my-soul.
I think she does. She was that kind of cat. All giving.
She had a rare bone disease, so in all probability it would have played out the same way ... but I do feel that I could have made her last months/days more comfortable. I just wasn't capable of it, though.
...as for Fester, well, I can see him being the lead vocalist in our girl group. Let's see, we'll have to think up a name. Uncle Fester and the (his)... kitcats? No. You'll have to finish it.
...no kittens yet. I think she's going to bring her back to the office again.
