You wrote, "Help is the sunny side of control." (on the dealing with sociopaths thread)
It's funny, just the other day I was emailing my girlfriend, sort of grumbling about our Book Club and saying I wanted to start a new club. I told her, "...without controlling people..."!
After I re-read my email, I thought wow, I am one of those controlling people! Just because it's not a perfect club with perfectly blended personalities....I'm unhappy with it. And I want to start my own.....!
I have trouble "helping" other people. Something about a person coming to me and asking for help is....incredibly rewarding in some way. It appeals to the ego and there IS an altruistic part that wants to step up and be the guiding light. However, it does give control over that person in some way. Expectations arise, you get to be "one-up", etc. And the other person does not need to be very creative if you are there, offering your help without them exhausting all resources to solve their own problem.
I am still working on this.....! Especially with my oldest child, an 18 year old young woman now.
Dandylife
