I have been thinking about this whole concept of voice, and the pain inflicted on us by it being stifled.
As we sought to express ourselves, to assert our existence, to "announce" ourselves, we have continuously run into obstacles.
Soon we discovered that piece by piece we can unravel the mysteries of the obstacles and eventually we would "free" ourselves. This was our intellectual pursuit, "if I could just understand, it would be so much easier."
Oh vain illusion!
First, we need to ask, why were we trying to understand? Well, the answer is simple, for ourselves, it would make us FEEL better. True, as we understand more, it becomes more bearable, but somehow the feelings are not quite jumping for joy. There are feelings of resentment, hate, anger, ...
But should we have expected better? After all, we always had the wrong goal before our eyes. How would you expect to feel better if your goal still had someone else as the target?
If we see our feelings as judgements of our actions and thoughts, then we need to be judging properly to feel better. When I do something and take other people's judgements into consideration, my entire value system is skewed. No wonder I feel like crap.
So, instead of trying to find our voice, perhaps we should just find ourselves. And as we pass the journey of life through our filter, we should always maintain as the ultimate and absolute filter our SELVES.
When I have myself before my eyes, then voice becomes less of an issue. First, I need not exert myself to change the ideas or opinions of others. I leave them to their thoughts and keep my thoughts my own. Voice is no longer needed as a tool. But the voice that remains will be a beautiful voice because it expresses who I am in totality and entirely perfect. For, I cannot sin against myself!
Steve
