hi tayana,
If you feel better, more free, then this is the route for you. It is usually the best one, as Ns never change.
It is sad that it is NC with your mother, and I don't know about that, but my daughter married an N, and I lived with one, and both of us are better off having left them. She is divorced.
My eldest grandson lives with his Dad and is learning the N way. His Dad is his 'hero" and it is heart breaking because I looked after him from the time he was born until he was 4½ ....then as Ns will do, they divide and conquer, and as still my son-in-law, he banished me from his kingdom.
Grandson is now going on 22. He rode his motorcycle over 2000 miles to see people and I was on his list. As we sat and talked, I could see that he was just waiting for me to stop, so he could talk, and it was all about him. I felt badly, but said nothing. Then when I talked about those 4 ½ years, he let me talk.
He doesn't remember those times at all (and his sister was 2 , now 19) when he climbed a pine tree and I talked him down, when he heaved a sigh and I asked him what was wrong. I had put my arm around him and he said, "Oh Grumma. One day you are going to die and I am going to be so very sad!" I talked with him, about all the things he had yet to do, in life, like ride a bike, play baseball, drive a car, (he's about 3½ in here) have a girl freind, eventually get married and have little babies so I can be a Great Grumma (his pronunciation) and then when I did die I would ask God if I could be a special twinking star in the sky, so when he saw one of those special ones, that changed colours, it would be me, winking at him, then he sang "Twinkle twinkle Little Star...... " and all was okay.
To think that little boy grew up to be an N. I told him he was "the sweetest, most senitive little boy I had ever known"....and he was. He was so Pleased to hear that, said so and that no one ever told him that.
I remember so much about his first 4½ years and her first 2, but there is a 3rd who is now 16, who I never knew, all becasue of an N father .....who owed me $55,000.00, which problem for him, I think, he thought he would get away with, but I sued him.
An N nearly destroyed my daughter, my granddaughter will not speak to him, her father, and the 16 year old is as confused as any child could be, is just only now grasping everything and doing better in school.
Oh boy I became yappy but I don't think you know this. These are children with an N parent
You have to do what is best for you.
So I was on my own without my family and an N dropped into my life. 4 years of it and I left. A therapist then told me about N-ism and it all fell into place. I am learning about all this quite late in life and realize I have an N sister, NC there.
So good luck to you, but you will likely receive different advice from different people, yet it's what's best for you that you do what you do.
Take care
Izzy
