Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The shaming tactic fails to work on me
tigerlily:
Hi discounted girl
I see my little grandson doing the same thing to my son. He wants so badly to give something to his dad (or mom) for a gift for Christmas or whatever that he will wrap up his favorite stuffed animal or collect his pennies so he can show his dad he loves him with a gift. It is so sweet. I can't imagine any grownup not seeing the innocence and pure love coming from a child like that. And to make that child feel bad about his purest of intentions is criminal. I always think of that when I see my grandson doing something thoughtful like that and I thank God that my son treasures those moments.
Discounted Girl:
Ellie -- haha -- I am laughing thinking of you with your gift bags hahhah ...
Tigerlily -- Your son sounds wonderful to appreciate his little boy and treasure those moments. Yes, nothing is sweeter than a child.
Anonymous:
Hi everyone,
My T finally turned the lightbulb on for me regarding giftgiving with Ns. "Everything is an opportunity for ***** [N’s name]" :idea:
May I try this scenario out on you all? I was so angry when I read about the video thing and these other hurtful stories. Ugh! So here goes:
Imagine you are the N (if you can or dare) and you live in a bricked up room of your own making and choosing and decor. You sit on your throne, alone. Of course, you are an exceptionally wise king: you trust no one. You are so wonderful and you know everyone would like to be you and therefore everyone wants to kill you to take your place. A hidden cabinet door opens up and in comes an object. A gift from an outsider. You hate outsiders. A Trojan horse perhaps? Don't be fooled! Throw it back in their face! A gift from one of their children. What an old trick. Throw in back in their face! "No one can love me, they want to be me! "
When the gifts and cards stop coming, something is afoot! What is the enemy up to? "You there, trusted insider/whipping boy/slave! Go find out what is going on. What? They don't want to see ME? I don't believe it! They are up to something I tell you! Check again and again and again. What! MUST I do everything myself? I'll go with you this time. " Etc etc. Everything is a threat or a weapon. For Ns, it's kill or be killed.
Apologies, I know these are not happy thoughts! I'm going to go eat some chocolate now! Hugs, Seeker
flower:
Hi Seeker,
Your words painted a vivid scene for me. Excellent! I can just see the N in that isolated room on the throne.
I followed suit and ate some chocolate too. 8)
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