PMs

[lupine]

I decided to post this as a separate thread since I have a feeling the PM feature of this board needs to be acknowledged as a force driving the messages that are only displayed publically.  Maybe good, maybe bad....but it is there.  I think it is important since many of us have suffered from not having honest communications with others. 



   
Re: Answer to Bean's questions
« Reply #101 on: Today at 11:38:01 AM »
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thanks for the feedback, much appreciated.  I PM'd you regarding your other question.

How can anyone have an enlightened discussion when the PMs are really driving the discussion?  This is so "small town".   And I think it is manipulative.  To those who have just read the thread, it suggests there is an inner clique that "knows" the real scoop.  So the issue becomes one of how to be part of the inner clique in order to have their voice heard.  Of course, it does suggest that one needs to have an inner circle.......in order to be really heard???

Look, if you need to have that inner circle of what you consider to be your true communication, go for it.  However, in the interest of those of us who naively assume that we are speaking one to one, give a disclaimer???

For example the disclaimer could be: I'm posting this for all the board....but I have my "true" friends who tell me what everyone else is really thinking and saying????  And I will respond to them not you accordingly.  In other words, I will post a public reply for those of us who think we are being heard.  And when the communication comes back mixed at best, I will still be at the point I was way back then before I heard of this board.

Sorry, you're not the only one who does this.  It may have value....it may not.  But it is something to be considered.  To have value, a board such as this hopefully depends on honest communication, not edited communication.   

[Izzy_*now*]

Hi Lupine,

I agree with you in the sense that I have felt that two people (or a group) form an alliance via PM and person A  will announce his/her intended thread to be posted and asks person B to be there to back her/him up.

The evidence is usually that Person A's post is immediately followed by Person B's. This is 'waiting for the post and be the first to reply'. Fortunately I am not one, as I am not always here to receive a message of urgent need from someone to back up her idea immediately after her post.

There is also evidence that telephone calls have been made between certain members, as referenced some time ago in a post (I wouldn't know where to look for reference)  and now just recently in bean's apology thread.

Ami,

I am sorry to you most of all.  I was trying to be a friend and offered you some possible explanations for some bad behavior I saw.  Had I known some people would circulate the idea of trolling through some fictional "PM land" and accuse us of not only engineering it, but leading it?

I would have saved us lots of trouble and just given you a call.  Talk to you later.

bean

People seek anonymity, with nicknames, and then hand out their telephone numbers? 

The 'underground railroad' might be longer than we think, then again maybe only 3-4 people and ought to be 'de-railed'.

Izzy


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[EDIT in] Although on the other side of the coin, when  the thread is just between Person A and Person B. I often wonder "Why waste space--PM each other"!

[Leah]

Hi Lupine,

Speaking for myself, openly, I have never been privy to Bean's PM circulation list or however one would describe.  I received my very first PM from Bean only recently, on June 10, 2008, which was in reference to a question regarding Bean's thread on the board referring to PM's and Bcc functionality for this simple reason was, on that day, there had been some confusion with a PM being sent to Bean, in error.   Which was resolved with another member.   It was sorted as per the thread, all seemed clear.

I don't really know Bean, having only recently responded to a couple of posts that Bean has made on a thread that I have started on the board.

I feel that I need to make this quite clear, for the purpose of clarification.

I can say hand on heart that I have never received a PM from someone to inform me of their intention to post onto the board with wording and request for backup.

Anyone who responds to my input on the board does so freely, and of their own personal intent.

Personally, I don't feel that members orchestrate their postings, if I am wrong, then I am disappointed, very much so, for that brings a whole new meaning to the board, and one of which is not healthy, is my own thought and opinion.

I like to consider each person to be writing of their very own healing journey, sharing of the researching, searching, and enlightenment, hoping for input and encouraging one another, with freedom to discuss, in one's own unique way, freely, as in a "Healthy Community"

So much time and energy is seemingly expended here, fruitlessly, in the never ending discussions pertinent to this topic, no offence intended dear Lupine, for I think this may shine a light to the good, hopefully.

Leah x

[Izzy_*now*]

bean....you are still not on my list of people I ever think about.
Izzy

[Ami]

LOL---you could go in to comedy, Beansie. Maybe, another career for you??????          Ami

[Certain Hope]

Hi, Lupine,

I just want to tell you how much I've appreciated your posts, across the board here.

It's not even about agreeing or disagreeing with the points made, so much as...

it's been good to read your thoughts.  Thanks for sharing them here.

We live in a very rural area, too, so I can relate... and alot of what you've said makes good sense.

Sincerely,
Carolyn

[lupine]

We live in a very rural area, too, so I can relate... and alot

of what you've said makes good sense.


Thanks Carolyn!!!

I love to walk my dogs down the country path but the patience it takes to communicate with the town still challenges me.  A lot depends on what you don't say.  The good news is we have a very low crime rate.  I mean like we already would know who would have done it......and they are probably related to you!!!!  Well, as much as you would admit