Author Topic: My progress (Read 2595 times)

Lupita · « **on:** July 03, 2008, 11:31:59 AM »

First day moving thigs to my new apartment, they have guards all day and night. One of them never smiles to me. He goes from smiling to someone else to become extremely derious if I appear. I asked him directly why did he smile to others but never smiled to me. He did not answer and forced a sneered smile at me almost to bite me, then he gave me back my driver's license not in my hand but tossed it on the countertop.

My son hit me with his elbow and told me in a sermon:

"Mother, let him be, this is a free country, he does not have to like you, and he does not have to smile at you, just ignore him!!!"

I cried all night about that stupid man. But i have not seen him since then. I forgot about him. next time I see him I will just ignore him. I do not feel bad because of him anymore.

I am in progress, transforming every second, changing constantly.

I am doing better.

Thank you Lord.

dandylife · « **Reply #1 on:** July 03, 2008, 12:19:12 PM »

(((Lupita)))

Your sweet heart. I'm sorry it got trampled.

What a jerk!

Ignoramus!

Know-nothing!

Sheesh.

I can't believe his rudeness.

Dandylife

Lupita · « **Reply #2 on:** July 03, 2008, 12:38:20 PM »

Thank you Dandy, my point is not his rudeness, but my reaction to his rudeness. I suffered for one day when I used to suffer for weeks because of cases like this. That is my point. And the real point is that we should not be suffering for anybody like this. Not at all. It should not distress us the attitud of someone else. We cannot control others. That is my point. I am learning.

Thank you Dandy for your kind words.

God bless you!

dandylife · « **Reply #3 on:** July 03, 2008, 08:46:03 PM »

Lupita,

Isn't there a part of you that reacts to this without your conscious control? Your heart pounds a little faster as you realize how you've been slighted, maybe your face feels hot, you turn red, your hands shake from the adrenaline that's released in your body. You feel......upset. Your gut, your insides feel it. There's really no point in trying to NOT feel this. It is your internal sensor that is designed to warn you. That's a good thing.

But I hear you. You don't want to consciously dwell on it. For any more time than you absolutely have to. I'm with you.

You are right on top of it - allow your BODY responses to return to normal and then your mind can quiet as well!

Nicely done.

Dandylife

lighter · « **Reply #4 on:** July 04, 2008, 01:05:06 AM »

He probably has some weird icky "thing" for you.... and doen't know how to handle it better than a 2nd grader.

Ignore.... detach..... enjoy the view.

Whatever has him behaving so badly isn't your problem..... thank goodness.

LIghter

changing · « **Reply #5 on:** July 04, 2008, 03:17:52 AM »

Hi Lupita-

Wonderful that you are making progress, and even more so that you recognize and reinforce the progress as it appears. Your son sees the evolvement in you as well! Now you are ready to have the new life that you have worked so hard for, and I am happy for you!!!!

Best,

Changing

Leah · « **Reply #6 on:** July 04, 2008, 10:21:53 AM »

" Congratulations " ((( Lupita )))

Sincere good wishes for a very happy future - with an enjoyable sea view too!

May the Lord continue to guide, and bless you, each day.

Love

Leah

Overcomer · « **Reply #7 on:** July 04, 2008, 11:18:28 AM »

Hey Lup-You know how you asked me why my whole world revolves around my mom? Do you think perhaps you feel that everyone is against you? It seems to me that maybe you perceive people to be against you. Not sure because I did not see the interaction but I just thought I might plant that seed.

Sela · « **Reply #8 on:** July 04, 2008, 12:23:38 PM »

Hi Lupita,

Congratulations on your progress!

I love this!!

Quote

And the real point is that we should not be suffering for anybody like this. Not at all. It should not distress us the attitud of someone else. We cannot control others.

Very wise! Thankyou for posting about it! I think your words will help others too (certainly it has helped me, thankyou).

Sometimes the answers are so simple. If one takes the time to switch from feeling to thinking eh?

Your thoughts helped calm you and soothe you and ease your distress! That is wonderful progress if you ask me!! I agree with what Dandylife said about your inner sensor being a good thing and ontop of that....I think your thinker is helping to sort out the real vs. the not so much dangers. That's a really good thing too eh?

Sela

Lupita · « **Reply #9 on:** July 06, 2008, 05:23:27 PM »

Thank you dandy, light, lea, oc and sela, thank you for your kind words and encouragement. The security guard is now treating me in a more natural way. Things are going fine.

Now, I have to concentrate in not screwing up my new job. I have to get along with people there and react in a positive way to their actions. I need to do a good job in my new job. I am a hard worker, that is not the problem, but how I interpret other's people behavior, that I have to work on.

Thanks everybody.

My apartment on the beach is a dream, I had several visitors this weekend and had a ball, went dancing, drkinking, fireworks, friends over, walking on the beach, swiming pool, pelicans passing close to my nose in my octave floor balcony, breath taking viewss. Paradise.

Thank you Lord.

Thank you to all of you ofr your good vibartion. Love to you all.

gratitude28 · « **Reply #10 on:** July 06, 2008, 05:45:17 PM »

Lupita,
That is an awesome lesson. I spent most of my life trying to get everyone to like me.\/be nice to me. I am a LOT better about it now too. Congrats to you for being able to see this problem AND to correct your reaction to it.
Love, Beth

changing · « **Reply #11 on:** July 06, 2008, 09:43:42 PM »

Best To You, Lupita.

Changing

Sela · « **Reply #12 on:** July 06, 2008, 10:31:55 PM »

One thing that might help Lupita?

I can't remember where I heard this or even the exact percentage though it seemed like a reliable source, at the time and so it partly sunk in:

Most people, a great majority, a high percentage of people spend most and a maximum amount of time thinking about themselves, not you.

That sounds selfish but it's just normal, really.

So when you might think someone is doing something to iritate you or saying something implied to you or whatever.......try to think that they are likely not thinking about you at all.

Hope it helps, if not.....pitch it to the wind.

Sela

Hopalong · « **Reply #13 on:** July 07, 2008, 11:06:56 PM »

HI Lup,
I am wondering if meditation would help you.
(I know, it's not salsa dancing.)

But what meditation practiced (as in regularly) teaches you is to detach from your own thoughts. To recognize them as "just thoughts".

Quote

how I interpret other's people behavior

It helps to detach you from emotional reactivity connected to your thoughts. Which are your interpretations. Which are just more thoughts.

I am thinking you might be tremendously helped by a new regular pratice of meditation. It's present, calming, and it's also preemptive...

love
Hops

Lupita · « **Reply #14 on:** July 08, 2008, 05:14:18 PM »

Thank you all for your kind responses.

Yes, meditation can help. I need to control my thoughts.

Again, I all need os to be an adult, and stop waiting for somebody to rescue me and take me by my hand I have to be a grown up.

That is the only way that Iam going to survive my next job.

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