GFM afain }:-(

[Lupita]

She called me yesterday and she told me that she was suffering so much because of the rupture between the kids, and she started telling me that I did not like her daughter that I was unhappy with them and started to blame me for the problem, when it is her daughter who broke up with him and before that she was being very disrespectful with him she even shut him up in public oince in front of me and my church friends, she was being mean and rude with me, and she is balming me for her problems, just like my mother, the worst, she had her daughter in the other line listening to our conversation, and I told her you are crazy, I did not know that the other evil child was listening and she started yelling at me hysterically, dont call my mom crazy, and I hunged up. I was depressed all night with nightmares, wook up with tachicardia, and heart pain, just like I was abandonded and my mother was ganging up against me putting people against me.
I cannot feel bad or suffer because of the ignorance of these people, she made her bed and she is balmijg me, fortunately my son is recovering, and I hope in the Lord that they never get together again, these people are veru sick and that woman is so much like my mother and that 20 year old girl is like a 12 yo and behaves so much like my sister, it is a nightmare. I will never answer the phone again with this woman called and I will never call her again. They have casue me so much pain!!!!!!!!

[Lupita]

I fell so sad today. Despite all myblessings. I cant let this happen. The behavior of others should not affect me. I feel so sad. But I will feel better. I want to feel good.I want to feel good.They balme me becuase they are sick. It is not my problem, it is their problem. They can cook them sleves in their own souce, I do nothave to suffer because one more person does not like me. Too many do not like me already. God will help me.

[debkor]

Hey Lup,

You should feel proud.. You saw something that was familiar to you..triggered your thoughts.. your experience.. and you simply.. said.. this is her problem.. saw the projection.. and did not take it upon yourself....to claim it as your own....

Good for you... you have come a long way....and you don't have to liked by them.....you don't want to be.. who cares if they like you or not.. are these the people that we would really want to be around? and to like us?  For they never will.. they will only want control of us.. not friendship.. even control as far as just pushing our buttons.. pissing us off.. is enough...

The phone plan?  I like it..

Love
Deb

[Hopalong]

I will never answer the phone again with this woman called and I will never call her again.

GOOD decision, Lupita...
no reason to open yourself up to blame and abuse.

They're neither your friends nor your family.

love,
Hops

[lighter]

I believe GF and her mother may have been expressing their dissapointment with your son's response to being dumped.

He didn't run out and purchase an engagement ring then beg for GF to marry him, did he?

Seems they've assigned blame TO YOU.

Just my theory.

Lighter

[Lupita]

Hey Lup,

You should feel proud.. You saw something that was familiar to you..triggered your thoughts.. your experience.. and you simply.. said.. this is her problem.. saw the projection.. and did not take it upon yourself....to claim it as your own....

Good for you... you have come a long way....and you don't have to liked by them.....you don't want to be.. who cares if they like you or not.. are these the people that we would really want to be around? and to like us?  For they never will.. they will only want control of us.. not friendship.. even control as far as just pushing our buttons.. pissing us off.. is enough...

The phone plan?  I like it..


Love
Deb

Deb you just gave me validation. The only problem is that my brain tells me it is not my problem, my heart feels guilty for not liking her, I know it is stupid, but I still feel the fear, I dreamt I had run over  a motorcycle and I saw the man under my car, I wook up sweating with my heart pounding at its maximum, those kind of dreams come whem I have fear. thes two gave me fear.

I feel better today MOnday. But my son still thinks that I hurt her GF and I was part of the problem. That makes me terrified, just to think that I might lose my son to a family of N people to dig his tumb and live like I did after all the sacrifices I have made to take him out of there.

[Lupita]

I will never answer the phone again with this woman called and I will never call her again.

no reason to open yourself up to blame and abuse.

They're neither your friends nor your family.

love,
Hops

Thank you Hop I do not want toxic people in my life. My fear is that if I start considering too many people toxic noboy will be in my life, and I think I need to learn to deal with all kinds of people.  But this two are just a letal weapon to me. Carzy hu?

But, yes I totally agree with you, and thanks for the validation.

[Lupita]

I believe GF and her mother may have been expressing their dissapointment with your son's response to being dumped.

He didn't run out and purchase an engagement ring then beg for GF to marry him, did he?

Seems they've assigned blame TO YOU.

Just my theory.

Lighter

OMG Lighter, you just hit the nail. I knew that and I suspect that my son knows that but does not tell me becasue he does not want to give me validation.

I told him, the exact words, when he said "I am not ready to get married" she just waited two months and she said "I am not ready for thsi realtionship" That was a total revanche.

And they think that I was the one, it was not me, it was his grand father and his father who screamed at him. Not me. I just totally told him if he was ready to work full time for children and forget about him self and he was not. And I stayed with him all the time he was crying and took him out and caled his friends to take him out, and took him night clubbing and called onw of his friends to take him night clubing again, and he spent two weekends in my apartment on the beach and we went night calubing there and I saw him dancing with different girls, and that boosted his self confidence. That was my sin.

I never told him do nto go back to her. I even told him that she was going to call him back adn did not opposed. The only thing I did was trying to distract him so he was not so devastated.

GF was the first one to erase him from her face book. then he proceded to erase her, so, she started it. I just gave him support and provided distraction so he can recover faster.

Last night he tolde me he met a 27 yo girl in the same lab where is is doing his thesis (he will be published) he is double major in science and music, she plays the piano like him and dances like him and is in science like him.

I told him, do not start again pleas, do not dive imemediately, do not get an immerssion, do not start idealizing a person to set your self for disappointment.

He said, "I am not ready for a relationship, I just want to enjoy life and see people come and go"

I still know, after they have sex, my son will be hypnotized like a zombie, but and older woman, he is 22. But this time, I will leave him alone, I will do nothing, except pick of his pieces and help him when the time comes.  And is she si a good woman and likes me and she is friendly to me and respectful to him, then I will be very happy. If not, I will do nothing. I have too much with my mistakes to suffer for my son's mistakes, I have to help him without suffering. I men. I will try. LOL, I know I cant, but I will try.

Thank you Light.

[Lupita]

I feel less fear today. Will talk to my councellor about this. I feel so glad I have a councelor. Finally. Thank you Hops.


Let us see what she has to say today.